Chester’s Blog – Hunger2Health

8/14/2018: Last Minute Emotions

I am so full of emotion that I’m afraid when I meet our foster tenn tomorrow, I’ll start crying. That would not be cool. But I know that I must be myself and trust that whatever I am, in His name and Christ in me, God will move in his own way to love her. I really didn’t expect being a foster parent would be this overwhelming. And I haven’t even started. Take a deep breath and trust God. Perhaps getting to know her focusing on her needs and appts, getting her into the right classes at school, introducing her to our church and friends, hoping that somebody her age will reach out to her, wanting her to fall in love with being in a family and being wanted, AND at the same time adjusting to being a new granddaddy, trying to adjust to a new schedule of both having a teen and babysitting for Roger, losing the security and serenity of a routine retired life style as well as a tried and true marriage of 50 years – rather than rest in the memories and celebration of all that we have accomplished and all that we enjoy in our ministry communities, where risk is embraced and failure allows us to just walk away and start anew – perhaps the accumulation of all of these changes is a bit much. None of these can stand against the power and love of God. What a privilege to be beloved and chosen by God to serve in his army and to be given this responsibility. I am thrilled to be obedient to his call and to be Abba to this teenager. You’re right. I have no guarantee of any result, except to learn to enjoy the ride.

8/13/2018: Abundance Revisited Again

I write to be able to hear God. He sustains me when I am troubled and when I seek his assurance.

I’ve not been able to sleep a full night in the past week or so. I usually pride myself that I sleep like a log, asleep most nights before I hit the pillow. This week, however, I have awakened really early around 3 or 4 a.m. with my mind just a thinking. And the more I try to get back to sleep, the worse it gets. Frustration begins to set in, and pretty soon I must get out of bed and read or do a crossword puzzle. So what’s going on? What can’t I turn off my mind? I think I know the answer. Our lives are about to change. Susan and I have answered a call from God to take in a foster teenager, something we’ve prayed about for the past several years. That’s a good thing, right? Walking through doors that God has opened is always a good thing. I’ve done it many, many times. “Chester, I want you to go on this medical mission trip and lead an evangelism team, OK? Chester, I want you to start a new ministry to serve the most under-resourced kids and families in Winston-Salem, OK? Chester, I want you to mentor this young 4th grade boy who is in constant trouble at school, OK?” I don’t recall ever losing sleep over any of these assignments that God has given me. This one is different, I feel.

A young 16-year old foster teenager, whom we haven’t yet met, will be dropped off at our house in two days to live with us. I don’t know that much about her, but I do know that she is suffering from years of trauma. I know that she needs a home where she is safe and loved. I know that on Tuesday our lives will be changed forever. I don’t think that I am worried that much about losing my former life. I’m not worried about the sacrifice that we will make. We do that joyfully. In the past with each foreign exchange student we made lots of sacrifices. Sometimes life was difficult, and sometimes we couldn’t wait until they went back home. In the end each time we worked things out, and each challenge became a gift. Our decision to share our lives with another young person was always paid back to us ten-fold. So it’s a no-brainer that we choose to be foster parents to this girl.

This feels different. We will have support from Crossnore and other foster parents. We will answer to a bureaucracy with paperwork and policies. Many people will be following up and assessing the progress and the compatibility. Our foster teen will have input into her placements. But more than any of those reasons, it feels different because this teen has been sent to us by God, this teen who is broken and distrustful of finding a family. She doesn’t need another disappointment. She is at a crossroads in her life, and it will happen in the next 2 years. Yes, I feel the magnitude and weight of this God-sized assignment. In some ways we feel that God has prepared us for this very moment. Answering yes to God this time is a big deal. I am not afraid of failure, because failure will certainly be part of our journey. We’ll get past failure. God will be our beacon to light the path. I think the reason I feel so overwhelmed is that God has chosen us to be his sowers and to work his garden for our foster teen. I am in awe that God would choose us to care for his beloved child. That’s it! It is an affirmation that we’ve done something right and that he wants to entrust us with loving and directing this young girl. We are Jesus to her, and I know myself too well with all my faults and shortcomings. This time the risk is great. I know God has prepared us for this time.

This morning during our worship service, we ended the service with a beautiful tenor solo of “The Lord’s Prayer.” I closed my eyes and pictured myself with outstretched arms towards Heaven to receive God’s presence. I was overwhelmed with emotion at his goodness and abundance poured into my life. After spending this afternoon with my immediate family, I retreated to the backyard alone to pray. “God, do you know what you’re doing?” I shouted. The immediate image came back to me of my cheery tree several years ago. God had already answered this question, but I just wanted a little reassurance. You see, I was faced with the overwhelming burden of uncertainty of caring for my mom with Alzheimer’s Disease. In the very moment that I had no answers and felt out of control, God took me to the cherry tree. The tree was laden with an abundance of red cherries, ready in bunches for the picking. God asked me to stretch out my hand in any direction, where I found more cherries than I could possibly hold, all falling into my hand. He reminded me that he was the grower, the gardener and creator of life, and that there would not be any cherries at all without his generosity. He reminded me that he was also the creator of my journey with my mom. He promised me abundance along the way.

So it is now, this new journey, or perhaps a continuation of the one. I may have planted the cherry tree and watered it over the years, but nothing happens without God’s breath of life and his providence. He was the source then, and he is the source now. Many people think we’re crazy to want to have a foster teenager in our home. Perhaps they haven’t tasted the cherries.

Chester

8/13/2018: Letters from Nam

I really have suppressed most of my thoughts and feelings from my time in Vietnam. I spent almost 7 months in Vietnam from Sep 1971 to Feb 1072, and I have locked up that part of my life and thrown away the key. When I think about that time, I have only vague pictures of being there. I remember certain incidents and the jobs I did, but I have blocked the day to day reality of being in a war.

For the most part, this is a good thing. I don’t think that re-experiencing or even remembering Vietnam could have had any positive effect on my civilian life over the past 46 years. Several years ago I was manipulated to relate a very painful incident, which unlocked this safe place and resulted in a breakdown of uncontrolled emotions. There apparently are some very dark and scary monsters in my closet. For the most part most memories have been put far away, until today.

Today I ran across my letters I wrote to Susan from Vietnam. She was insightful enough to type some of them into a Word document. Today I was able to go back and read through my own words what I was experiencing and feeling. The journal seemed unfamiliar to me, but as I read my letters the emotions rushed in. I was actually surprised that my life in Nam was so distressing. I was blamed for things I couldn’t control. People died because of human error for which I was accountable under my command as an Artillery officer. I faced uncertainty and imminent danger every day. My letters expressed dire loneliness and isolation. In short reality was suspended in the face of war. Bad things happened with no good answer or justification. The natural tendency was to escape the guilt and senselessness by cutting off one’s ability to feel. I wrote on Christmas day that 3/4 of the Americans on the support base camp where I was stationed were drunk. No wonder I divorced myself from these memories.

I was not yet a Christian. I did not have the advantage of a foundation of faith, but in retrospect I do recognize the presence of Christ sustaining me. As a Christ follower today, I see the evidence of God even in this darkest time. I found that God used this time for healing in my counseling with Veterans 35 years post Vietnam. I sat eye to eye with men and women who experienced trauma in the Middle East, veterans who needed to be touched by the healing hand of God. So many people walked into my office trying to ignore the terrifying emotions that controlled and tortured them. I felt that my office was a sanctuary in which veterans came to know God as a renewing healer. I came to thank God for the painful experiences of Vietnam that he used to touch others.

Having read my letters today, I am more aware of the love I have for Susan, who sustained me with her letters and words, as I tried to give her the courage to wait until I could come home. We were both young and afraid, both learning to deal with overwhelming circumstances, both doing the only thing we knew how to do – keep writing words of hope and love. We both experienced this time with great loneliness. I’m not sure I could have survived Vietnam without Susan.

An excerpt from one of my letters to Susan (Nov 21, 1971):

“I really don’t have anything spectacular to write about today. I just feel like writing you. I want to express myself and I constantly feel a need to tell you how much I love you. I sit and think of all the wonderful times we’ve had, and the bad, and our future together. The only suffering on my part in this tour has been emotional, and this suffering has taught me a lot about myself and our relationship. Your wonderful letters help relieve a lot of the agony, as mine do to you also. Your letters are full of the sweet, warm, passionate person I know. It’s funny how my life here is dominated by you more than when we were together. Our love now seems so perfect, yet groping for a way to express it physically.”

08/12/2018: Reshaping Broken Pottery

I awoke in the middle of the night and realized I wasn’t God. In was about 2 a.m. in May 1970. My wife Susan and I were living in Germany at the time in which everybody in the military was slated to go to Vietnam to fight the Viet Cong in an ugly and distant war. Since I had been in ROTC at Wake Forest University two years earlier, I took advantage of choices the Army had offered me. I had entered the Army at Fort Sill, OK, as a lieutenant in the artillery. Susan chose to forego her senior year at Wake to get married and accompany me to Germany. Early on, the Army offered me the opportunity to volunteer with them indefinitely in exchange for a guaranteed choice of my first duty station. Since Susan was a German major, the decision was a no brainer.

Two very young married people climbed into an airplane in 1969 to start a journey to Germany and beyond. The war had altered our lives. As we met and fell in love in college, we were faced with the decision of getting married sooner or waiting until after my obligation to get married much later. So at the innocent ages of 20 and 22 Susan and I married and headed off to tackle the world.

We were very lucky in many ways. We had put off my tour to Vietnam for a couple of years. You see, Susan had “accidentally” chosen to take German as her foreign language as a freshman at Wake Forest 3 years earlier. When she was faced with choosing a foreign language at registration time, her advisor happened to be a German professor, who suggested to her that she might enjoy his language. She did, and her life/career was changed forever. This decision ultimately saved my life. At least it is an intriguing supposition. Upon completing the Artillery Officers Training at Fort Sill, OK, in August, 1969, I was reassigned to that duty station to await further orders for Vietnam. Going to Vietnam at that time as a 2nd Lieutenant was a bad idea. The life expectancy of an Artillery forward observer in a fire fight was 6 seconds. Instead I volunteered for an indefinite period of time, extending my military obligation for as long as the Army needed me. In exchange the Army offered me a guaranteed 18 months at the destination of my choice. The decision was simple, and we packed our bags for Europe. Germany was a land of history and enchantment. We had each other on a meager 2nd LT salary. We fell in love with Germany. Susan was learning to speak the language and making friends with some local people. We took every opportunity to travel around Europe to see castles, eat Jaegerschnitzel and experience the German culture. Life was a dream.

Underneath the excitement of living in a foreign country was the reality that my family and my support system was not there. On the one hand, Susan and I enjoyed one another and as newlyweds saw our lives through rose colored lenses. We lived day to day, eagerly planning our next day trip or being Herr und Frau in our German condo near the Keserne (military offices). We had little thought about what lay ahead. I was not particularly religious. I had grown up in a Presbyterian church, where I do not recall hearing much about salvation, or perhaps I was too preoccupied with being a teenager at that time. It seems that my family was more interested in social justice and the church’s role in serving the community rather than sharing their faith story with one another. I married a deeply devout and traditional Baptist woman. I have no idea why she married a guy who saw church mainly as a social club in which I failed to fit. I look back at her decision to marry me as an act of God. Besides her being an intelligent and grounded woman, I fell in love with everything about Susan. We would act silly together, sing our favorite tunes, share our interests and she laughed at my jokes. Susan was a Southern lady, gracious and kind, always serving others in humility, slow to anger, thinking of others before herself and making me feel like the luckiest man in the world. Her family always made me feel special when we visited them. I saw a side of her family and of Susan that I could not quite put my finger on, but I was very attracted to the optimism, joy, unconditional love and family values that was perhaps not so evident in my family. The values I grew up with were more along the lines of stimulating discussions around the table, gaining attention through one’s accomplishments, making a difference and vying for control. I never met anyone like Susan. She was everything I wanted to be, but I didn’t know how.

When we arrived in Oklahoma, we rented a house right across the street from a small Baptist church. Susan had always been involved in her church, especially as an active youth. So she was looking forward to living this close to a church for the summer. We visited that first Sunday and filled out the card, eagerly waiting a visit from someone to introduce us to all the goings on. That visit never came. We didn’t try other churches, so that summer Susan spent, for the first time in her life, without a church family. In Germany there really was not a church to join. We were in a small town where few Americans lived. A Catholic and Protestant itinerant preacher visited once a month if we were lucky. A handful of people attended each service. Susan volunteered to play the organ for each service. She would go down to the small funeral chapel a few blocks away, and with her key unlock the doors to a very cold and dark room that housed a small electric organ. In the winter she would wear her gloves while she practiced, and sometimes a few meters from the organ lay a body or two ready for burial. Her playing must have been rather quiet so as not to stir the dead.

Our lives were magical in Germany. We had very little money, but we managed to live a full life, enjoying each other and the friends we made, traveling around to so many places in the country and in Europe, and playing Army officer and wife. Our post was rather small and remote, away from the larger American military bases that were well-known to most American soldiers. I was a lieutenant in S3, Operations and Training for the Headquarters, 557th Artillery Company in Herbornseelbach, Hesse. My team would visit our field units out in the surrounding area to inspect the warheads that were stored and maintained. When I was promoted to 1st LT, I became company commander, a position for which I was ill equipped. Upon my inheriting this command the Colonel took me aside and told me that my first responsibility was to bring the NCO Club back to operational solvency. The previous manager of this club had embezzled several thousand dollars, so I needed to audit the books and bring this business back to good standing. The psychology major from Wake Forest did not give me any training in this area, but luckily one of my Sp4’s who worked as a typist in the neighboring Ordinance company was a CPA who had been drafted by the Army. With his help we succeeded to comply with the Colonel’s orders.

While I went to work every day, Susan stayed at home and tried to be a good Army wife. We were so poor. To save money we bought only three sets of Army green uniforms, which had to be washed a starched to meet the dress code. Susan spend a lot of time soaking them in the bathtub with starch and ironing them to perfection. Meanwhile we spent most of our money on castle hunting on weekends. We used an old Esso map that marked all the castles in Germany to plot our excursions. Our base resembled a little Peyton Place, a soap opera of gossip and social order. Our commander was a power-hungry, controlling jerk who kept everyone on edge with his antics and faux pas. I find it rather humorous that the day after he left, and a new commander took over our base, I came home from work that day and told Susan that it was the first day since I had been in Germany that I had not been called a “God damned Lieutenant.”

A couple of months before I received my orders for Vietnam I awoke one night with an intense fear that I could die in the not too distant future. Time had passed, and my tour in Germany was coming to an end. I would soon get new orders for my next duty assignment. I was going to Vietnam. I guess I had never really thought about death before. Nobody I knew had passed away. Death was some distant plot in a play that happened to other actors. As a 24-y.o. I still thought I would live forever. But war changed everything. Vietnam stared me in the face with a new reality, and I was distraught.

I reached over in the bed to put my arms around Susan for comfort. Her body was a cold and decaying skeleton. She had no real comfort to give me in the fact that I was mortal and faced death. As a matter of fact nothing in my world comforted me. I had built a huge stage around me to protect me and to avoid pain. Now I was alone in a crumbling world in a strange country and with a cold skeleton. I desperately called out to God for help.

I had talked with God in my childhood. I had attended a Presbyterian church as a youth, however I was primarily caught up in social agenda. I don’t recall having a very strong religious foundation. God was the Creator and a friend who talked with me as I walked home from school. Whenever I was lonely I could talk with him, and he was always there, sort of like an imaginary friend. We would carry on conversations as I dribbled my basketball down the street. Whenever I sprained my ankle, God would tell me be calm, my mother would wrap it with an Ace bandage and after a few days I would be okay. But this was different. I would not be okay. I would be dead, and that was final. God, what are you doing? How can you let this happen?

I couldn’t deal with the fact that life was so good, that I would grow and learn, that I would love the best way I knew how, and then I would be dead. What’s the point? I was obsessed with grief and with the fragile demise of my body and mind. God was not being fair. He had made me this highly creative, sensitive, thinking being. Did I not deserve to live forever? I was determined to reason this dilemma out. For weeks I tried to explore every possible solution. And when my orders finally came, I was nowhere. The best solution I could come up with was that I should live to the fullest every day. Perhaps I would have the satisfaction that I did my best. I spent my entire tour in Vietnam trying to do just that.

Vietnam? What should I say about a time in my life that was surreal and painful? I would like to say nothing, and skip over these months to a more memorable and positive time. But God was in my Vietnam experience, perhaps camouflaged in different clothing, but he was there with me. I never heard much talk about God or Jesus from anyone. Come to think of it, I spent most of my time alone. I flew over without knowing anyone on the airplane. I in-processed alone for a few days. I got up every afternoon by myself, ate alone and reported to the FDC (Fire Direction Center) for my 12-hour shift, seven days a week. I boarded a plane at the end of it all and flew home alone. My memory of the first time I talked with someone about anything personal was when I called home at 11 p.m. from Seattle, standing in an outside phone booth in February of 1972 wearing my military issued khaki short-sleeve shirt.

I don’t remember thinking about God very much while in Vietnam. Each day passed, and I woke up to start all over again. I don’t think I allowed myself too much reflection, or else I would have gone crazy. There was only today and the things I needed to do to get through that day. I kept a distance from others and from reality. I found pleasure where I could. I found this world to be cold and removed. I felt that I was suspended in between life and something else, where no one dared to feel, but everyone found some escape. It was only in retrospect that I saw that God provided and cared for me. There were some really bad things that I witnessed while I was there. These things still haunt me today. Our world was upside-down, and God didn’t seem to be able to set it right. How could I reconcile that God was in control of the world in such a place? The God I thought I knew wouldn’t have been a part of such chaos and evil. If I reflected on too much of my life at that time, I would get angry. Nothing prepared me for such an experience, and no one was around to help me through it.

At that time in my life I had no clue that God was a God of redemption in hopeless places. Pain and loneliness were major factors in my life. I had only a discharge date to look forward to and the hope of Susan waiting for me when I returned. When I did return home, I quickly learned that my pain and loneliness was mine to keep hidden under a rug. To most persons I met Vietnam was a bane, and my service was disparaged. I felt that I was often seen as the “enemy” for having served in such an unpopular war. I sometimes felt rage at what I experienced in country, certainly my feelings were confusing. I couldn’t allow these feelings to surface. They were too scary and painful. Nobody understood them nor offered any help to ameliorate them. I really was alone.

Someone once said that God is in the trenches. I didn’t find my religion in Vietnam, but God led me through a period of hopelessness and despair perhaps so that I could understand what that feels like to people who don’t know him. Perhaps without Vietnam I would not have found the depth of love in Jesus Christ. My search for answers continued for a few years after I returned home.

Oh, I remember how I spent much of my time in Vietnam. I studied and passed a correspondence course to become a certified travel agent. Yes, I loved living in Germany so much that I wanted to lead others to have such a good time in their travels. Susan had returned to Wake Forest to complete her senior year. After her graduation we moved to Southern Pines, NC, to work at the travel agency in Pinehurst, a place of high brow money and elite expectations. We had purchased a small house (really cute) and moved in to start our new lives. Our new puppy Scruffie was rambunctious and eager to tackle life, much like the two of us. I thought that I was set, while Susan looked for work. I had a certificate from a correspondence course (American Association of Travel Agents) that taught me how to write an airplane ticket. The agency needed someone to run the office. They brought back their manager out of retirement and fired me after two weeks.

I wanted to help people take trips to unknown, foreign lands. I thought that was what I wanted to do in my career. What happened next was really cool. Again I must say that I was still young and foolish. I had no idea what to do. We were in a strange town in a new house without jobs. One day soon after I saw a sign over a downtown door that read, “NC Division of Vocational Rehabilitation Services.” I walked in to inquire. It must have been after closing, because the manager, Vic Cashwell, was alone in the office sitting behind his desk as I entered. He must have been overwhelmed with work, because his desk was piled high with stacks of case files over which he could hardly see. Mr. Cashwell spent a good amount of time telling me about his career. I saw passion and commitment as he related many stories about the people he served. I walked out of that agency with a sense of satisfaction that I really liked Mr. Cashwell and what he did.

Susan found work as a desk clerk at the Pinehurst Hotel, while I was hired at the Morrison Training School for juvenile delinquents as a cottage counselor. I was really a guard for troubled kids. We had to conduct a group talk session once a week in which we encouraged the kids to share their feelings, therefore we earned the title of counselor. During the year at this training school I got to know other Vocational Rehabilitation Counselors, who had an office in the school. I found that I really liked them too. I would hang out there in their office as much as I could. I decided that I could do this job, helping people take trips to unknown places to become productive and fulfilled in their careers. After a year, Susan and I headed off to Chapel Hill to further our education. She entered a graduate program in German, and I in a Vocational Rehabilitation Counseling master’s degree program.

My program had problems, but the 12 of us in this program got pretty close. I spent a lot of time with my peers and with Susan’s peers in the German program. Graduate school for both of us was rather secular. Chapel Hill offered many distractions. We had no routine and therefore fell farther away from church life. Susan and I even shared a house with another couple and a single male student for a while. We called it a commune, where we shared household duties and expenses. Susan and I made 6 loaves of bread from scratch every few weeks. I actually enjoyed this experience in this house, although we were confronted with some major problems. One night Susan and I were walking back to our house after enjoying an ice cream cone from the parlor a couple of blocks away. There were several strange men at the door and in our house when we arrived. They were policemen who conducted a raid for drugs. They arrested the two guys, and ransacked our room looking for drugs or paraphernalia. We of course didn’t use drugs. I think we were very fortunate that we did not go to jail for having drugs in that house. During our commune experience I witnessed how the depravity and senseless obsession of smoking weed affected these two students. I thought it was very sad to see two intelligent and capable young men turn over their lives to dependence on marijuana. Smoking infused all areas of their lives at home and at school. What a waste!

After graduate school I returned to our house in Southern Pines, after kicking our tenants out, to start my first real job in the DVR office. Mr. Cashwell offered me a position with a mental health caseload. Susan stayed in Chapel Hill to finish up her classes for a PhD in German. We spent a year as weekend partners, alternating between the two homes. I had finally found a career that had potential to be fulfilling and successful. I was ready to tackle the world. One day a new client Pam walked into my office. We had hardly gotten started when she asked, “Do you know Jesus as your Lord and Savior?” I thought it was highly unusual that she would ask me such a question. It was not in any of the materials that I learned in the two years of my Master’s degree program. But she hit on something. It had been almost five years since I awoke that night in cold sweat in Germany. I had exhausted any plausible and scientific answer to my quest for meaning and relevance. Pam boldly put me on the spot that day. I was so desperate that I had to explore this intrusion further. I remembered that people at my church where I grew up talked about Jesus, but I didn’t know him. I had been married in a wonderful church by the pastor of my wife and family, but I didn’t know Jesus. I had attended church with Susan and sat through several sermons, but Jesus never asked me to follow him. Jesus was the first love of Susan, who lived out a life full of grace and love in our house, but Jesus was not my Lord and Savior. Not yet.

Over the next few weeks Pam and I talked a lot about her faith in Jesus. She shared her story with me. I even attended her church, an independent Baptist church, that preached hell, fire and brimstone. This church was different from the ones Susan and I attended. The people mostly had been drug addicts, alcoholics or were divorced. They were working people who struggled with day to day survival. They talked constantly about their salvation, about how Jesus had plucked them out of their abyss. They talked about transformation of their lives. The preaching was harsh and confrontational. Maybe I needed a dose of this hard-nosed preaching to hear God’s words of redemption and promise of a new life. Maybe my struggle to find answers to life’s questions and complete failure to resolve them led me to this time. At this very time I was emptied of my own answers. Life still didn’t make much sense. Pam would talk with me all the time about how God changed her life. I listened.

One day I had been making home visits to my clients (We were expected to do this in the 70’s). I entered a home of a woman whom I found lying on her couch. She told me that she had taken an overdose of drugs and was waiting to die. After calling 911, I knelt by the couch and talked to her about God’s love for her and all the reasons she should live. As I mouthed these words, I realized that those were the very words that I had been listening to Pam tell me over recent weeks. I also realized that these words were words from my heart that I now owned, words from God to me. It was at that moment that I realized I finally found the answer.

It didn’t make sense. People don’t just come back to life after they die. Jesus had been killed and buried. It must have been the world’s most elaborate ruse even known, contrived to elevate man into a higher status and to placate the universal fear of death. I had been over this a hundred times, and it just didn’t make sense. They must have stolen the body. That was a lot more logical.

But then Jesus walked into my life, the most radical and insane act of love I had ever known. He was no longer a logical supposition to my fears and quest. This Jesus was a man, God made flesh, who personally became incarnate on this day, when I was broken and in despair. Jesus rose from the dead because he is alive in me. Jesus sits down beside me and puts his hand on my shoulder. He knows everything about me, and he still wants to give me abundant life. Jesus hears my groaning, and he offers me comfort. I didn’t make this up. My faith journey, my walk with Jesus, my story is all I need to live a new life. He is sufficient in everything.

Well, Susan came home one weekend, and I was eager to take her to church. She had almost completed all her classes in the PhD program, when she attended Pam’s church with me. The sermon that Sunday was about childlike faith. We should have the faith of a little child without the burden of education and theology. As a matter of fact, those who have a lot of education are prone to go to hell. Needless to say, neither of us attended that church again. Instead, I was baptized in the church that we attended when Susan was in town. First Baptist Church in Southern Pines nurtured us and welcomed us over the next 3 years. We became leaders in a youth group, and I joined the choir. We attended a couples Sunday School class weekly, and in 1978 I was ordained as a Deacon.

I learned how to do church. Deep inside however there continued to rage a struggle for Lordship. On several occasions over the next few years I would awake in the middle of the night in the midst of a mighty struggle, a war for dominance. On the one side there was an army fighting for God’s truth. “Believe in me and you will have everlasting life.” On the other side was a vicious throng of soldiers trying to slaughter God’s army. Sometimes I think of the battle in the trenches of two football teams, fighting for an inch or two of space. It was a one-on-one battle with Satan, no holds barred, a fight to the death. That first battle was intense and lasted for hours. Finally about 4 a.m. God’s army was victorious. I had been assured that the Biblical story of God’s love for me in the person of Jesus Christ was real and victorious. At the end I had the assurance of God’s personal love and salvation. But later on other nights the same battle raged. Each successive one was shorter, as God interceded and reminded me that he had already won this battle, and I didn’t need to keep fighting it over and over.

Life was good in Southern Pines. We were connected with our church; I enjoyed my career; and we made some good friends. My family grew with the birth of Allison, who was our reason to live. Susan was teaching German to families in Fort Bragg and doing odd jobs. In the summer of 1979 she was contacted by the German Department at Wake Forest to teach for a year while a professor was on sabbatical. We of course decided that we would move back to Winston-Salem, where I grew up. We began to plan our move and look for house. I was being very academic and forward thinking about the whole thing. One night I had a dream that I was sitting on a crowded bleacher in a vast open field in which we could see all around for many miles. We were spectators to some event set for us to witness. Off in the distance we watched as the world was on fire. The cities burned before us in consuming flames. The fires slowly moved toward us, as we were unable to do anything nor get off the bleachers. The next morning I figured I was not as okay about my moving as I thought I was.

I had been afraid of having children, to Susan’s chagrin. She wanted lots of children to love and nurture, but I was not willing. I had a deep cavity in my life that shut out being a father. Until Christ loved me and set me free, I had been too selfish and second-rate to want children. Perhaps I grew up in a form of dysfunctional family, and I didn’t want a child to experience what I had experienced. That sounds really sad. I don’t see my natural family nearly as negatively today as I must have felt back then. I learned one day in a codependency workshop about the “looking good” family dysfunction. I know now that my mother’s love for me was real, even though she expressed her love through her controlling and narcissistic personality. So I always felt that her love was conditional on pleasing her. I spent a life time working on separating from my mother and being able to love unconditionally. Jesus was the reason I could do this to any degree. And Allison taught me a kind of love that only a child can show. My biggest regret is that I did not give Susan more children. She is so loving and natural with children. She loves being a mother.

I really did not have a clue how to act around Allison. All I knew was what not to do. Part of my falling in love with Susan was her traditional and loving family. I saw a family that was Godly and close. I watched, for the most part, Susan love on Allison, and I learned. At first I felt unimportant. When Allison cried, she needed her mother, and Susan needed her. Allison was breast-fed for almost two years, so I was not able to comfort her. I had decided that Susan would take the lead in parenting decisions. We were always consistent in our rules and discipline. Well, almost always. Today, I often look at Allison and think that we did some things right. She is the apple of my eye.

Years later, when Allison was about 6, she called out to her mother to come fix her bath water. I was of course in the house, and I couldn’t believe Susan was still fixing Allison’s bath. How will she ever learn to do it herself, I asked. I thought Allison was perfectly capable of fixing her own bath water. Susan’s reply caught my attention and made a lot of sense, “I will fix her water as long as she wants me to. One day, she will stop asking.” I got the message. Being a family and doing things for one another is more important than accomplishing some minor task. In my family I learned that in order to be loved one had to achieve, so learning to fix the correct temperature balance was a skill that was necessary to do this task well. To Susan fixing Allison’s water was an act of love in and of itself. Susan cherished the act of helping Allison in the present. You might have guessed that I still have much difficulty placing the right value of being present with a loved one over tasks and accomplishments. I often ask for forgiveness.

I don’t think Susan will ever forgive me for watching music videos with Allison when she was about 10 or 11-y.o. We didn’t have cable TV, just a roof antenna. We could get about eleven channels on our lone TV. One of the stations was a Gospel station until 11 p.m., when it turned to music video programming. Not all music videos were evil, just most of them. I figured that Allison would be watching them at some point anyway, so we enjoyed viewing videos together. I of course taped them to view at a reasonable hour of the day. These videos and Comic Strip Live gave us a real bond for many years. There were some very good videos, but unfortunately we really had to get through about ten bad ones to see the good one. We did have a fast forward button to speed up this process. Susan still blames anything that Allison goes astray to my exposing her to music videos at too early an age. It probably was too soon. Standup comedy was similar in that many comedians were either very bad or very vulgar. But we loved the good ones. Still today Allison and I share stories and jokes that we listened to 25 years ago on Comic Strip Live.

I have been blessed to have started a small men’s group about 25 years ago that still meets today. We call ourselves a PromiseKeepers group consisting of about six men. Some of the guys have been coming to our meetings for over 15 years. The group used to meet at church for lunch, but when I started working at the Federal Building in 2003, we had to move the time to 6 a.m. at the K&W Cafeteria. I was always amazed that these men showed up at 6 a.m., way too early for anybody to have a meeting. We did a lot of talking while we ate breakfast, and we would discuss our current book to give us some structure. I think that we all thought it was special to decide to come that early. It gave us a sense of uniqueness and privilege. Certainly the fellowship and sharing with my brothers make this time a special part of our lives. Many years ago two men showed up at our meeting for the first time. Each of these men was looking for some validation and support, since each had recently had major medical problem that led to their confronting possible death. That day they each told their stories to the group. I was moved by how God had carried them through their crisis, and how they felt closer to God than they had ever felt. I prayed that day that I could have that kind of relationship with God, but without the crises that normally accompanies such spiritual growth. It is at the point of dying, when one is on his death bed, all irrelevant and trivial matters are stripped away. One looks solely to God and relationships with others as the only things that matter. It is at that time that we are most filled with grace and love. I want that love and grace now. Wouldn’t it be incredible to live our lives with that kind of focus on Jesus? It appears plausible to me that if we can picture ourselves in the kind of relationship with Christ that we will have at the time we take our last breath, if we can transform our minds and hearts to that moment, with God’s help, we can know that fullness and abundance of life and the radical love that God bestows on each one of his children. It is a love and power that God freely gives us when we are fully laser-focused on him.

In 1998 I had an opportunity to go to Prague to work on the new Baptist Seminary that had moved from Ruschlikon, Switzerland. A few of us from church were excited to spend two weeks in Prague. Our task was to pave and smooth the parking areas around the seminary. I found Prague to be an exciting city of music, history and art. We worked every day as laborers, but walked into the city afterwards to enjoy the culture and the arts. It seemed that this trip was more like a vacation than a mission trip. The local people whom we met were not that open, much like the Eastern bloc of countries who had been conquered and occupied for so long. I left Prague with an appreciation of a wonderful city to visit, but not a satisfying mission trip. I wanted to interact with the people and even share Christ with them if possible.

The next year Dr. Robert Kelly asked me to join them on their medical team to Bolivia. They were going to La Paz and work in El Alto on the Altiplano. El Alto was an exploding city on the massive flat plain at 13,000′ altitude to which thousands of Aymara Indians moved each year from the Andes Mountains. The 22,000′ peaks of the Andes surrounded this plain as well as La Paz, which was spread out in a valley below El Alto. My first memories of that trip were of the flight into the airport in which we cleared the peaks and dove toward the runway at a fast speed. We had to travel at a faster speed due to the 50% reduction in oxygen at that altitude. At the airport we were surrounded by little people dressed in strange clothing indigenous to that area. As we checked through customs, I grabbed my suitcases and walked about 50′ before falling over from dizziness. At the hotel in La Paz that night I opened up my toothpaste to brush my teeth, and the toothpaste squirted out all over the sink. Everyone in our team was sick from the high altitude. I believe they gave us some drink with cocaine to counteract the altitude sickness. (Oops, I just Googled it, and it was really cocoa tea, not cocaine. Too bad.)

I spent five days packing pills in the pharmacy. We treated almost everybody for worms and bacterial infection. It was the first time I met a real live missionary, Linda from Texas. Linda had been called to the mission field and was fairly new to Bolivia. She lived in a rough place and had to give up most comforts that we normally think we need. Other than Linda there was an older couple in a 2-year missionary term, but Linda headed up the programs and efforts for the entire region. I enjoyed getting to know her. Hardships to me were God’s plan to Linda. Sacrifices were out-weighed by obedience and joys of serving. I had never before met anyone that dedicated and focused her life on spreading the Gospel and loving a people group. In the two yearly trips that followed, I looked forward to spending more time with Linda, who learned quickly how to take care of herself in an increasingly dangerous land. There were groups of people in that country who hated Americans, so we were always on the lookout for danger. On the second and third trip to Bolivia, Dr. Kelly asked me o lead an evangelism team. I had never seen one, but I agreed to put one together.

The idea was to engage the Aymara people while they were waiting in lines to be seen in one of the clinics. On any given day hundreds on Indians walked from distant places to get medical help. I was able to talk with an Hispanic pastor of a local church who introduced me to Carla, who had learned a plethora of evangelistic dramas in El Salvador and led youth to present these dramas in some of the Hispanic apartment complexes in the community. These dramas seemed like a perfect way to communicate the message of Christ without being able to speak the language. Our team practiced with her, accompanied the youth a few times to these neighborhoods and were ready to witness to the people of El Alto. I was proud of our team who showed the love of Christ and courage to take so many risks. We depended on an Hispanic pastor from our city who presented these dramas to the people and interpreted their application after each one. We also went into the crowds to give our testimonies that were translated into Spanish and then Aymaran. Many people gave their lives to Jesus. I sat on the airplane on the way home from our last trip telling God that I did not ever want this mountaintop experience to end. I did not want to go back to a life of compliancy and routine. Being on mission for God gave me an energy and purpose that felt so alive. In El Alto we were in a community of like-minded believers whose time and focus throughout each day was to preach the Gospel. We knew that medicines would wear off, treatment would likely be only temporary, but the word of God was life-changing and eternal. The entire team was of one spirit. Why couldn’t we carry this spirit into our routine lives at home? Why couldn’t we be on mission in Winston-Salem? As we went out into the town to witness and to tell our stories, people wanted to know why we came so far to help them. I said that we came to Bolivia from America because God had sent us. God was the author of our traveling over 3700 miles to show his love for them. The word spread around the village that God had sent us to them. I believe they felt special that day to know that God loved them so much that he sent a bunch of doctors and nurses from so far away to treat their ailments and ease their burdens.

I shared stories of how God had provided for me in a personal way when I had lost hope. I told them how God had molded me from clay into a vessel of his choosing. Our stories connected with their hearts across cultural differences. Sometimes I felt that Jesus was talking through us telling one of his parables. In 2001 a group of youth from a local church in a nearby town had joined us. They were eager to learn these dramas in order to carry their ministry and witness into their home towns. This was as it should be, to pass on what God had given us to teach others to continue this ministry.

In 1989 we planned a family trip to Europe. Susan had already returned to Germany in 1977, but this time we all planned to have a major vacation. It was quite unusual to be able to take off from work more than a week or two. I was lucky that my boss at the DVR office approved my taking 3 1/2 weeks, as long as I had my work caught up. One of the managers actually covered my caseload for me while I was away. Allison was at a good age to appreciate the sights and conditions we would encounter. It was a dream trip: Vienna, boat trip down the Danube to Budapest, visit family there, take train to Salzburg, rent a car and drive through the Black Forest, meet our German friends on a cruise down the Rhine River, visit a family in Braunschweig and fly home from Hamburg. We left soon after school was out. To me there is no greater pleasure than traveling with my family, building memories together. We all were very excited.

The day of our trip Allison called her mom into the bathroom to show her a spot of blood in her stool. We decided that it was not a big problem, since there are many reasons for this anomaly. Everything was arranged to leave, so my parents picked us up and carried us to the airport. This trip was pivotal in my view of how I would want to spend my time and money. Susan and I were both State employees, so we saved up for this trip, and we wanted it to be perfect. And it was perfect, except for one huge problem. The spot of blood in Allison’s stool later turned into a bit of stool in her blood. Her condition had rapidly worsened throughout the trip, so by the time we got to Braunschweig, Susan finally informed me what was going on. By then, we would have been home in a few days, and we hung on with great anxiety.

After checking for the typical parasites and infections, our doctor referred us to a Gastroenterology specialist. Dr. Weeks performed a colonoscopy without general anesthesia while we watched. In his office he informed us that Allison had a chronic condition called Ulcerative Colitis, a condition primarily of white, Eastern European women with Jewish ancestry. He assured us that people do not die of this condition. He handed us a brochure and sent us on our way. Over the next month Allison’s red blood count dropped drastically as she became weaker and sicker. We didn’t know what to do or what to look out for. I brought Allison back for an appointment, at which time he stated that she should continue her medicines and return in a month. I suggested that he check her blood work, since she seemed to be quite anemic. A few days later Allison started her first day of the 6th grade at Wiley Middle School. We got a call to pick her up from school due to her inability to physically make it. We took her straight to the Emergency Room at Baptist Hospital. There was a doctor at Baptist Hospital who had a reputation of being one of the best in the country with Pediatric Gastroenterology issues, however her schedule had been full and she was not accepting new patients. Perhaps if Allison were admitted, this doctor would see her.

These were scary times for us. Allison’s Hemoglobin was so low that she needed several blood transfusions. Her room was right across from the nurse’s station, only reserved for the very sick children. We did see Dr. Nanjundiah, a doctor from India who had practiced in Texas. She was quite assertive and controlling, but she touted that she was one of the best in the country and had never lost a patient. We placed our trust in her and in the statement that Dr. Weeks made a month earlier that Allison would not die from this illness. We had a steady stream of visitors from our family to members of our church. People flooded us with cards and stuffed animals. Our church prayed for us during the next three months. I was always a believer that God answers every prayer, so I wanted to make sure that God would not have a choice about healing Allison with hundreds of prayers spoken to him. Despite the best doctor in the country, a great support system and thousands of prayers, our journey was rough and exhausting. We learned that everything that could go wrong did. If a doctor announced that there was a 95% chance of success with a new medication or procedure, Allison was always in the 5%.

Nothing seemed to control the condition. Allison was on huge doses of Prednisone, her face puffed out, her body emaciated and her skin pale. She could not stay out of the hospital for very long. Brenner’s Children’s Hospital became our home and safe haven. Allison and we met several roommates and all the nurses. Susan and I tried to maintain a work schedule. My focus was certainly not at work. Everything in the hospital and connected to Allison’s health became the only reality we knew. We lived the treatment and became knowledgeable about all things medical. Susan and I dealt with this crisis differently. I kept my emotions in check for fear of losing control. I dealt with crises through logic. I obsessed about best practices and outcomes until the answers were evident. Susan, on the other hand, was distraught with guilt, which she eventually worked through. She would need to express her fears to me, but I did not want to let these emotions in, so I would offer solutions and options. I think this was one of the hardest things for us to learn to support each other. Certainly we needed each other more than ever, but we were unable to help each other fully. Over the years we have learned to come to the middle and work through crises together. As parents in a children’s hospital, we became knowledgeable of this chronic illness and we participated in the decision making. For the most part the doctors always kept us in the loop and suggested the next course of treatment, as if we needed to give them the final permission to go ahead. Ultimately we had to put our trust in them. Because of the proximity of the hospital to our church, the number of visitors and many hospital staff whom we knew, we felt that we received the best care possible.

Dr. Nanjundiah was not happy. Despite consulting with doctors around the globe, Allison’s colon had become too diseased and had to be removed. After more than four months of fending off the worst case outcome, after doing everything possible to put this disease in remission or to hold it in check, surgery stared us in the face. The word “surgery” had hardly been spoken up to this point. The unthinkable had become the reality. When I was a child, I used to be afraid of things I could not see during the night. Much like many young girls and boys, I was afraid of dark closets in my bedroom. I would lie awake at night waiting for the monster to come out and get me. It didn’t matter that my mom assured me that there were no monsters in the closet. She was right during the day, but I knew that monsters came out only at night. Losing Allison’s large intestines by surgery was like the monster for us as well as for the staff. Everything up to this time was said and done to avoid surgery at all cost. It was time to face the monster. Allison had suffered greatly, and her options were quickly narrowing. It became a new reality that Allison would not get well without surgery. We were aware that God sometimes brings us through crises one step at a time. He knew that we were not ready to face surgery early on, but we were ready for Allison to not suffer. This worst-case scenario became the only way out.

In the wilderness the Israelites had been wandering for a long time without much food to eat. They were growing weak and hungry. They began to fear God’s promises to them. They probably feared that they would all die out in the desert without proper food and water. Their supplies had run out, and they looked to Moses for answers. They wanted assurance that they could store up enough food for their long-term sustenance. God rained manna on them each morning in the form of a small round substance that came with the dew and melted away with the sun. The people could not save the manna for the next day. They had to wait for morning and trust that God would again keep his promise. We go through many crises in which there are no good answers and certainly in which we have no control. This story of God’s provision of manna kept coming back to me, as we struggled for answers. This unquestioning trust sustained us, and each day I asked God mainly for his sustaining power and nourishment to make it that day.

Allison had not been able to eat any food for several weeks. She had been NPO (nothing by mouth) for quite some time. So the thought of her finally being able to eat like a normal pre-teen was awesome. The thought of eating pizza again carried Allison through this scary time. She would endure IV poles, central lines, Prednisone bloating, and 24 hours a day of medical attention only to eat pizza. On the other hand, we entered the pediatric surgical waiting room armed with tons of books, crossword puzzles, scheduled friends to support, multiple tasks to accomplish in order to get through the 10-hour surgery. We arrived home two days before Christmas, almost two weeks after Allison’s 12th birthday. The normal routines and rituals were not important on that Christmas. All the getting ready for Christmas had not occurred. On Christmas day we had only our family and the gift of Allison being home. Allison’s stocking hung from the mantle stuffed full of pizza coupons. Christmas 1989 was the best Christmas ever.

During the next several years Allison struggled with her chronic illness, which put her into the hospital at least once a year and often multiple times. We were so connected with Allison as our only child. I’m not sure it was all that healthy to be that close, but who could have told us to be otherwise? The interdependency grew with the frequency and uncertainty of her condition. We tried very hard to allow Allison to grow up and to back away. However all decisions and life-styles had dire consequences. We often consulted a family therapist to provide support and help us work through normal parent-child issues as well as exacerbated drama related to personal space and control. I can imagine how difficult and confusing it must have been for Allison to establish any autonomy from us. Just when she was making progress and asserting herself, Crohn’s would bring her right back to her being a victim or patient. These were difficult years for all of us. I recall one time when we were all in a session with our family counselor. Honest disclosure was the goal, and Allison had just got through telling her mom that there was nothing she wanted to hear from mom. Allison did not want any help from the one person who wanted to help the most. When asked to tell us what she was feeling, Susan described the situation very much like Allison was again a little child, who was playing in the street, while Susan saw a truck barreling down the street straight towards Allison. What does a mother do when her daughter is about to get hit by a truck? Of course she wanted to run out and grab her to pull her out of the path. I remember this moment because described her pain so clearly, and Allison described her desperate attempt to break away from this dependent hold.

Our lives seemed to find some kind of normal from time to time, always redefining the meaning of normal and searching for consistency. I searched for some reconciliation and healing from God. There were times that I questioned his Sovereignty, especially at times when I was most frightened and had lost hope. Allison tried every medicine created and approved to control Crohn’s, and she still suffered with active and debilitating Crohn’s. I recall one day I had broken under the despair of recent news. I was alone in my car, and I pulled over into a parking space and yelled at the top of my lungs, “God, if you can’t do any better than this, you’re not such a great God! I don’t want anything to do with you.” I was serious. My view of God was one of a healer, a God who loves us so much that he answers prayers and makes everything OK. This much pain and suffering was not what I had signed up for. I tried to reject God every way I knew how for about two days, but God listened and understood my anger, and he wrapped his arms around me.

The local medical team had done everything they knew to do. Allison’s condition continued to disrupt her life and result in more suffering. She had tried all the medication available, and she had rejected some, and the others seemed not to work in her case. After more extensive testing her doctor sent her to NCMH in Chapel Hill for treatment from a renown Gastroenterology team that was nationally (and internationally) famous. At least that is what I thought I heard them say. Finally in October 1998 another major surgery was scheduled which was to fix things for Allison. There were new techniques since her original surgery in 1989. The 4-hour surgery was cut short, when after just an hour her surgeon entered the waiting room to tell us that when he opened her up, he saw extensive Crohn’s. He was unable to perform the planned surgery and closed her up. We left the hospital that night, and I walked around in a daze, rather numb to any feeling, not even knowing what to say to God or anyone else. Susan and I had conditioned ourselves to function fairly well in hospital routines. The surgery was on a Thursday morning, and by Saturday we were exhausted. We drove the two hours for home to gather ourselves and rest and to return to the hospital on Sunday to take Allison home.

I closed my eyes to sleep that night, but I was haunted by some disturbing images. All I could see was Allison lying in a hospital bed being fed by a feeding tube. It was clear to me that Allison had active Crohn’s that no known medication could control. Yes, they could take out some more of her small intestines, and she would recover and do okay for a while, But without an effective medicine the Crohn’s would attack her bowels, and we would start the process all over again. Each time Allison would lose another section of her intestines until eventually she would not be able to absorb enough nutrients to sustain her. Fifteen years? Twenty years? How long would it be until she would be dependent upon an IV feeding system to sustain her life? I screamed out to God in excruciating terror. These images pierced my heavy heart like a sword. I gasped for breath through my panic and tears. “God, I can’t take it. I don’t know what to do. Help me. I don’t even know what to pray for anymore. I have prayed and prayed, but I have not heard your answers. Where are you?” I listened and hoped for an answer. “God, all I know is that you promised that your know our hearts, and that your spirit will pray for me and utter the words that I can’t find. You know the depth of my suffering. God, I trust that you will answer this prayer somehow. Just let me sleep now.” I fell to sleep.

We did drive back and brought Allison home Sunday afternoon. She would heal from her surgery, and in a few months they would try a new drug, just approved by the FDA in the fall. Although it was good news that a new drug was becoming available, we were not too encouraged that this drug would be the answer. We sat out on the back porch just feeling good about being home. The door bell rang. I answered the door, and a woman stood in front of me, “Hello, my name is Deborah, and I just moved in a couple of doors down from your house on Friday. I hear Allison has Crohn’s.” What? I thought how could she know this already? “I have Crohn’s Disease too. May I come in?” I took her to the back porch, and we all talked about her experiences for the next hour. Deborah grew up in Australia, where she had severe Crohn’s. As a teenager she had to be fed by a feeding tube until she gained enough strength to be flown to England for corrective surgery. Deborah was a 50+ year-old woman, who had a similar situation as a teen, and who was now living, working and having a somewhat normal life. Wow! God knew exactly what I needed. I had no idea what to ask him for, but he knew me and answered my prayer. What kind of God gets that personal and cares that much for me that he would knock and walk right into home in the form of Deborah to say, “I heard you and I am here to comfort you.” What kind of God does that? This day, this act of love, was a turning point and bench mark in my faith journey. I have never again questioned God’s provision. I have come to praise him as I wait for his hand to provide in times of trouble.

The new medicine did work. Allison’s illness was controlled enough for her to re-enter a bachelor’s degree program at Queens University in Charlotte in Music Therapy. Allison had made some good decisions along the way. Although her illness was partially in remission, she still had enough days that she could pursue a tough music degree. However for the most part she had decided that Crohn’s would not define her life. God had blessed her and shown her that she could use her talents and her gifts to make a difference in this world. Her passion towards touching others with music drove her years at Queens. Each year she continued to deal with medical problems, and each year Allison resolved to conquer it. Her senior year, despite her inability to eat any solid food from January through May, she completed her class work and graduated. The day after graduation she entered the hospital for another surgery. The next step was to complete an internship. She chose to intern in a high school in Alexandria, Va, near her grandfather’s home, to work with at-risk youth. Prior to her completing this internship, she rejected the medication and ended up in a Virginia hospital for three weeks. She decided to have more surgery to reverse her internal pouch permanently. This major operation took place back in Charlotte.

Do you remember the 2% rule? If there is a 2% chance of something going wrong, Allison would certainly do things the hard way. We were trying to be supportive and present while she was in Charlotte and we were in Winston-Salem. Susan and I traded days after surgery to allow me to go back to work. One day while I was at work, I received a call from Susan. Allison had developed an infection, and despite a regimen of antibiotics, her infection was getting worse. She had moved to ICU. My bags were already packed. I jumped into my car and headed to Charlotte about 1 1/2 hours away. I was again scared. What would I find when I got there? Why didn’t the antibiotics make her better? It was evident that at this point I was dealing with all the scenarios, the gamut of possible outcomes. I was thinking that Allison could die, if the infection was not knocked out. As I drove to Charlotte, God and I had a conversation. I don’t think I was even cognizant of driving on the Interstate. “God, here we are again. I’m scared. Please don’t let Allison die.” The next few minutes, perhaps 15 or 20, were amazing, as I drove on automatic, God laid out before me his goodness, his answer throughout this journey. He said, “Chester, I know we have been here before, and each time, I want you to look at how I have shown my love to you and Allison. I love Allison even more than you do. She is my precious child.” He showed me each point of crisis we had experienced, and how I had called out to God with my fears. For 15 years God provided a new medicine or unblocked an obstruction at the last minute, or he gave us enough strength and courage to get through the day. “Chester, you can rest your fears in my hands. I love you.”

I made it to the ICU in record time, and I rushed into the room anxious to see what was going on. Our good friends from Charlotte were sitting by Allison’s bed with Susan. As I walked in, they were laughing and joking. I looked at Allison, who seemed happy. I immediately eased my fears and enjoyed the time with my family and friends. There were a lot of difficult times coming up, but at that moment I knew God had answered my prayer and was in control once again. After a terrible time with a staph infection, Allison was sent home with an open incision which we had to care for until she healed from the inside. When she was strong enough, she returned to Alexandria to complete her internship. She was even more empowered and passionate about her career as a music therapist, but she was very uncertain whether she would ever be healthy enough to maintain a career. Allison had not pursued job applications very hard. Susan had read in the newspaper about a teaching position as a music teacher at an arts-based elementary school in town. When she came back to Winston-Salem, she scheduled a job interview.

Meanwhile I had decided to be ready to support Allison for the rest of my life. I admit that I had talked with several people about Social Security Disability Income and other options for which Allison could be eligible. She had not earned a lot of money in recent years, so there weren’t any good options. I had been worried about how Allison would live out her life and manage financially. In the summer of 2002 my worries hit a tipping point. I was making a state employee’s salary, and Susan of course was a high school German teacher. For years her job security had been a struggle. Keeping a viable German program alive in this county turned out to be an ongoing challenge. She was traveling between two schools and was set to teach German and other things. Both schools presented major obstacles, and Susan’s position was once again in limbo. The previous year Susan had been given other classes to teach to make up a full load. She had German I & II, Latin I & II, Journalism and Remedial Reading for boys who had failed the competency exam. The last two classes were thrown in at the last minute. During that fall Susan worked her tail off. At some point I counted up the actual hours (96) that she worked per week including the class time and preparations. I was distraught to watch her killing herself by this amount of abuse by the school system. Throughout the school year she probably worked at least 70+ hours.

In August of 2002 Susan was waiting on a number of things to happen to know whether she had a position that fall. These things weighed heavily on me. One night I couldn’t sleep, and I took my concerns to God. “God, I’m really worried.” “I’m here Chester. Tell me what is worrying you. “I answered and started a list of things on my mind. “No, no, Chester,” God interrupted, “I don’t want to hear your laundry list. What are you really worried about? Give me what is in your heart.” I paused a second, “I’m worried about Susan’s job, God. You gave her the gift of teaching, and she continues to struggle with her position.” I sort of was reminding God that it was he who empowered Susan’s teaching, and it was a shame that he hadn’t worked everything out. “I am worried about her career and all these obstacles that she is facing.” God quickly assured me, “I have worked this out already. Anything else?” I was surprised at this simple answer that God gave me. It’s done. No need to worry. what’s next? “Well, God, you know I’m worried about Allison. I don’t know how I’m going to support her in the future. I don’t think I can do that on our salaries. What can I do, Lord?” Another solid assurance, “I have taken care of that for you. Do you have anything further?” I replied, “No, God. That is basically the core of my angst. Everything else relates to those two big issues.” I didn’t understand what God meant, although I heard his answers loud and clear. All I know is that I took my burdens to him, and somehow he would give me rest. Little did I know the half of it.

The very next morning Susan and I awoke, and while I was getting ready for work, Susan took our dog for a short walk up the street. When she returned fifteen minutes later, she announced, “You’ll never guess who I just talked to.” Susan had run into a neighbor who had just become principal of a middle school that fed students to one of Susan’s schools. They talked about the small German program and the difficulties in maintaining a large enough program to allow her to teach only German. The neighbor assured Susan that she would promote German to encourage her students to take German once they entered her school. I thought that this was a nice chance meeting, or perhaps it was God’s intervention. When I arrived at work, I had two emails forwarded to me by the principals of each of the high schools stating that they had worked out the problems and removed the obstacles to Susan’s position. They were happy to welcome her to teach German and to build the program as she was able. If that wasn’t enough, I also received a call about 30 minutes later from a friend with whom I worked at Goodwill Industries. Jan and I had quite a history together. It was the type of relationship that every time we saw each other, God was up to something big. We both had a sense of God’s hand working in our lives. I had the privilege some years before of leading Jan to accept Jesus into her life. So when she called that morning, my antenna went up. Jan had started a new job about a year before with Veterans Affairs, and she called about one of her clients. Parenthetically, she asked, “Have you ever thought about working for VA?” “No, why should I do that?” I retorted. “Money,” she replied. “I not interested in changing my career for money.” I was at the top of my profession with the state as a Vocational Rehabilitation Counselor, very much in control and very happy. I continued, “I would consider it only if God were in it. Are you God?” I quipped.

I hung up the phone and reflected on our conversation. “God, are you serious?” I wondered. Look at what just happened in the first couple of hours of the morning after God assured me that he had taken care of my concerns. My worry about Susan’s position and her future seemed to have been resolved. God certainly had kept that promise in a heartbeat. Was Jan’s call also part of his plan? I laughed at the thought that Jan was indeed God’s voice. I thought that there was only one way to find out. I needed to walk through that door. I contacted Jan and set up a meeting to talk with her and a couple of her coworkers in the Vocational Rehabilitation and Employment office of the Federal Building. It became apparent that God was indeed opening this door for me. During my interview with the director, he indicated that he needed me to come to work for him, since I had more real rehabilitation experience than anyone else on his team. He said he wanted me to set the example for the rest of the staff to learn how to do rehabilitation. I was very honored to be held in high esteem. After a freeze in hiring that delayed the process for several months, I started to work with the Federal government. I retired from the state on a Friday and started on Monday with VR&E. God had been faithful in his promise more than I ever imagined. He had carried through many delays and bureaucratic roadblocks to make it possible to work with DVA. I not only received a full retirement benefit from the state, I was now earning almost twice as much salary with the Federal government. I never lost sight of who put me there and what my role would be. God affirmed his plan for me on the first day of work. After a full day of orientation in Human Resources I walked into the VR&E office about 4 p.m. Three administrative assistants greeted me, and we talked for about ten minutes. Then all three of them made an eye-opening statement, “God sent you here, didn’t he?” I knew I was in the right place.

Who would have thought that events would bring us around to this? Our pastor, Don Gordon, said he always prays that his sermon would be the right words for someone listening. Allison has been listening to God in teachable moments for the past few months. For the most part she is very aware that God has a master plan for her life, and she is a willing pawn. In retrospect we have always seen his hand, and now we have a trust, because of this history, that God will always work things out for good for those who love him and have been called for his purposes. Allison has taken that to mean that God has orchestrated and ordained her career as a nurse, and he will continue to bless her by showing her the right path. We humans want to understand that contract with God to mean some kind of prosperity, but we who have lived long enough and are wise know differently.

Allison is a compassionate nurse. She is driven by her passion, her sensitivity to people and families in crises and by an unmovable desire to overcome obstacles. She recently alluded to this gritty character trait in a conversation with me about Jan. Jan was a coworker with whom Allison talked a few years ago, when Allison was trying to decide on a career path. Allison had just resigned from her teaching position to follow her dreams. She had felt a nudge to go into nursing, but Jan, who knew Allison’s history of chronic illness, advised her not to pursue nursing due to the physical demands of this profession. Allison was emboldened by Jan’s statement to prove her and the rest of the world wrong. I believe Allison all along was well aware of the fragile health that she has enjoyed, knowing that Crohn’s would eventually return to cause major problems. Often she almost defied her condition, testing the limits of her remission. This period of remission has settled in, and Allison has rightly moved on with her life despite periodic health glitches. After all, God had already worked out his plan for her, so medical crises were no obstacles.

We are currently in such a crisis. Nursing in the hospital scene has been wonderful and difficult at the same time, providing opportunities to minister to patients in critical care and demanding long hours without breaks. It takes 100+% effort to successfully manage several acutely ill patients for a 12-hour shift. For Allison it has been critical to manage her own health as well. She would often start her shift at 6:45 a.m. and not have an opportunity to eat anything for several hours. Also due to her chronic condition she needed to remain well hydrated during the day. A week ago she ended up in the Emergency Room during her shift. She has not been able to work while she is going through this process. At this time we do not have any idea of a diagnosis and prognosis. There were some scary symptoms that resulted in her inability to continue her shift. So we are in that hard time of waiting. She was released from the ER late on a Saturday night.

For reasons unknown to me other than God’s providence, both Allison and Kevin showed up at church the next morning. I could see them from the choir loft sitting with Susan in the back of the sanctuary. I prayed that something special would happen, that somehow the message or the music would be right for them. We were all amazed when Dr. Gordon’s sermon was exactly God’s message to all of us. The message dealt with the situation surrounding Joseph, the adored son of Jacob and hated by his brothers. Joseph did some very teenagery, stupid actions and ended up abandoned in a pit and then sold to a traveling caravan headed to Egypt. Joseph’s dreams were dashed and his ties were cut from his family. He must have felt abandoned and scared. His brothers must have dealt with their guilt. Their father, having thought that Joseph was dead, must have been in terrible grief for loss of his favorite son. And that’s where the sermon ended, in despair and pain, in a chain of events that seemed hopeless. Dr. Gordon warned that he would not rescue us or justify these events, not on this day. We were to feel the pain and despair fully, as we were in the middle of this story. We probably already knew how this story ended, but he left us to be in the moment. We are often left to wait for God. Every Christian goes through times when he is scared and feels abandoned.

Look at the disciples and Mary after the crucifixion. Their hopes for a Messiah were dashed, and they felt totally abandoned and shammed. What that Saturday must have been like, waiting alone for God knows what. As Christians we know the rest of the story, but it is still so hard to wait. As Christians we can wait on Saturday because we know Sunday will come. Saturday may be a long day, but we must cling to the hope and promise of the resurrection. Letting go of my own agenda and fully trusting God, no matter what, is what Saturday is about. It is more than a hope that things will work out. We have the promise from God sealed by our adoption through salvation. It is not hope alone that sustains us, for we already have victory in Jesus Christ. We wait for what we do not have; we wait for it patiently (Romans 8: 24-5). We are not left alone in our weakness and waiting, for the Spirit intervenes for us and binds us to Christ (Rom 8:26-7). I think 30 years ago, when I was a young and immature Christian, I would have never understood this. It is hard to put into words what has changed. I certainly have not done anything myself to seek this kind of trust or decide to have this kind of faith. God has been the composer and sustainer of my faith. What would my faith be if God had not willingly and lavishly poured out his love on me in times of uncertainty and fear? Faith would be nothing more than hope, a hope that the scriptures were real stories of God’s revelation to real men and women, a hope that Jesus really was crucified in a horrible death and God raised him to live again, that Thomas really did touch his wounds and believed him to be Lord and Savior, and that all of this is proof that I too am saved and am an heir to his Kingdom for eternity. Before Jesus entered my life at age 30, none of this made sense. However, I can stand here today, 40 years later, with an assurance of authentic love and personal intervention that God has brought me through darkness into his light.

Early on in my journey I would rage epic battles. I would lie awake during the night witnessing a war between two forces vying for control of my heart. God’s promises were pitted against my human doubts. The battles were fierce and bloody, and they would go on for hours. After some time God defeated the negative forces and would emerge victorious. I would have assurance for a while that Christianity was real and personal. I was able to rest and know that I was saved until the next battle. The war would start all over again, but each time I learned to call out to God, who assured me that he had already won this battle and that I didn’t need to fight it over again. During each battle God intervened earlier to remind me of his ultimate victory and that he was still supreme. I wondered whether others went through this same war, but looking back at this, I guess God really wanted me to be in his army. In many ways this experience affirmed my faith and created a rock on which I could always stand. Whenever I go through doubts during trying times, God still calls out to me to say, “Chester, I’ve already won this battle. You don’t need to work so hard. Come to me, and I will give you rest.”

Is it still hard to believe and embrace the reality that God has chosen each of us as his beloved child? Even after a plethora of examples that I just cited, I find it hard to live like a beloved child of God. A few weeks ago we were visiting with Susan’s brother, and his daughter and her two children joined us to eat dinner at a local restaurant. I have rarely seen Rachel and did not know her 4-y.o. daughter, Clementine. Clementine first saw me as she got out of her car. As she walked by she looked me in the eye and made a cat hissing noise. This cat behavior caught my attention, and after a minute she did it again. We sat together at dinner and connected in a special way. Susan turned to me and whispered, “Clementine has chosen you.” Susan reminded me that she had chosen an uncle in a similar way when she was four years old. This encounter makes me think about the fact that God has chosen us to be special for some reason that we don’t understand. We are God’s chosen ones, and we have been seen by God from all eternity as unique, special, precious beings. How do I act as the chosen one?

With Clementine I didn’t want to disappoint her. After a few moments I concluded that she just wanted to be loved back and paid attention to. She put no demands on my behavior other than my presence. There were several times that we caught each other’s eye and smiled. A couple of times I hissed back at her. I came away with a great memory of being chosen by a 4-y.o. child. Somehow I feel that there is something very innocent and pure in me that has been seen and loved. Being chosen by Clementine surprisingly touched me. How much more would it mean realizing that God has chosen me?

I want to revisit a story I wrote in 2010 about God’s abundance. I thought about that story and God’s lesson to me today as I was talking with someone to share my passion for reaching children at Ashley School. Once again I felt overwhelmed by the needs and lack of resources as I try to serve the Title 1 school and the neighborhood. On the one hand it is sad and frustrating to witness the dysfunctions of the neighborhood and the families, to make sense of this strange culture and to bring some kind of change through this ministry

However, as I follow God’s lead and look for doors that he has opened, I am amazed with what God continues to do. God continues to put people in my path. As I encounter each person, and it becomes clear to me that God is in charge of our actions, I kneel down in awesome thanksgiving of His abundance. I don’t have many answers. I cannot tell you how all of this will turn out. But I am comforted by the assurance that God is with us, and he reveals his guidance and provision just enough to keep me excited and on mission.

Back in 2010 I was worried about making the best decisions to care for my mother, whose life had become difficult and disjointed. I had gotten yet another emergency call from the Assisted Living home to come to discuss the fate of my mother’s ability to stay there. Instead of rushing off to the home, I stopped by the cherry tree in my front yard to pick cherries and to pray. As I stood on the step ladder and reached out my hand, all the cherries in the tree were ripe and bunched, ready for easy picking. I marveled at the abundance of ripe cherries that fell into my open hands.

Then I heard God’s voice, “Chester, who grew these cherries?”
“What?” I asked. “What do you mean, God?”
“How did all these cherries get here?” God repeated. “Did you have anything to do with producing these cherries?”
“Uh…well, God, I planted the tree years ago, and I have been watering and feeding it ever since.”
Then God added, “Chester, none of these cherries would be here today if I had not given them to you. You cannot make cherries, despite all your efforts. I am God, and I am blessing you, if you just trust me. Just reach out your hand. I will fill them up, because I love you.”

My ministry is just like the cherry tree. I will continue to water and fertilize, and every once in a while I may stop and prune a stray branch. God still encourages me to stretch out my hand in order to fill it up….abundantly. I love being a caretaker/gardener. Praise God for his goodness and provision. He is calling whom he needs to work in his garden.

Waiting on God to reveal answers to my questions is not my favorite thing to do. But sometimes the answers are complex and relevant to where I am in my life. Some time ago I had a strange vision. I didn’t quite know why or how I had this vision, but I did know that it was authentic. I didn’t even believe in visions at the time, so afterwards I had to decide whether I was crazy or was God showing me something that he wanted me to know. If that were the case, then this vision would take on significant spiritual significance. Seventeen years later I am still thinking about that night and what God was really telling me.

Chester

11/21/2016: A Prayer at the Door

I found myself at the door of a child’s hospital room, looking on at this young boy, whose body lay restlessly in a coma. We cling always to hope for recovery, but the reality at the moment seemed quite uncertain. In a flash my thoughts overwhelmed me for this boy, the pain and fear that his parents must feel, thoughts of his friends as they innocently played in the street and my own journey how God carried us through hard times such as these. I gazed at this boy, and I wondered what he was thinking as he lay in his bed. I wondered whether he knew Jesus, and I wondered what God was doing at that moment in his life and in the lives of his family.

I paused to turn to God in prayer. I asked for God’s presence, but God was already there. I asked for healing, but God already was working to heal beyond all my imagination. I prayed that God would envelope this child and family with his love, but God is love, so that’s what he does anyway. My desire is for healing, but God is going to do what he’s going to do. I begged God for healing anyway, reminding him of his power and love for this young boy.

After all, how many times has God embraced me in my darkness? How many times has he touched my family with his healing hand? I remember well the panic and helplessness I felt with a child in crisis. I prayed and prayed until I had no more words. I asked everybody I knew to pray, and still the healing did not come. I learned to pray for manna, to get through this day, this moment. I prayed for strength and nourishment each day, the food that only lasts for a little while until you need more.

What do I pray for, as I stand at the door of this boy’s room? Is it enough that my soul is broken and calls out to God? When I don’t have any words that are sufficient, will the Spirit intercede? Perhaps my silence is sufficient. Perhaps my prayer is as much for me as it is about God’s intercession. My prayer recognizes my helplessness and God’s Sovereignty. My prayer calls forth the God who has loved and interceded for me countless times in my life, even before I ever called on him. My prayer is a testament and covenant that we place this child in his hands and trust him no matter how it turns out.

Beyond this one prayer for this boy, my prayer is that we can live our lives in fullness of this revelation that God has already gone before us and provided all that we need. We are Easter people who are able to celebrate the salvation and purpose that God himself has already bestowed. I stand at this door with hope and thanksgiving.

Amen.

Chester

04/29/2018 Feature in Winston-Salem Monthly Magazine

Chester David: Community activist, Hunger 2 Health founder

By Jodi Stephenson Sarver

Retirement was looming, and Chester David was feeling … nervous?

David loved his job as a vocational rehabilitation counselor working with disabled veterans, and he couldn’t imagine how retirement could top it.

“I’d ask other retirees what they did, because I had no idea what I was going to do. I’d already traveled everywhere I wanted to go, and I don’t golf,” he jokes. “But I always knew I wanted to retire to something, not from something.”

In 2011, David read a newspaper article that said Winston-Salem led the nation in the number of families with hungry children. It seemed like a dubious stat to him; he personally didn’t know anyone who was “hungry.” But after a little research, he learned there were entire neighborhoods in town that he had never visited, and the children there were suffering.

“I felt called to do something and created a plan,” he says. “But I wondered, ‘How does an outsider become an insider and build trust?’ ”

He visited Second Harvest Food Bank and learned that a local elementary school, Ashley Academy, was approved for a feeding program that would deliver food to hungry children for the weekend, but it had no sponsor. He began laying the groundwork for what would become Hunger 2 Health by meeting with community leaders in and outside the school. This led to the creation of a coalition through his church, Ardmore Baptist, which became Ashley’s sponsor.

Hunger 2 Health delivered its first backpacks of food in 2012, and today the program delivers 125 backpacks each week. Many church members are also involved in mentoring programs at the school, including David and his wife, Susan, who read to students weekly.

In addition to his work with Hunger 2 Health, David also serves a number of other causes in town. They include Love Out Loud’s Gift Mart, which provides an opportunity for parents to purchase discounted holiday gifts for their children; Experiment in Self-Reliance, where he serves on the board of directors; Ronald McDonald House, where he helps feed families who have kids staying at Brenner Children’s Hospital; and Samaritan’s Feet, which donates shoes to children both locally and across the globe.

At the core of all his volunteer duties is one common theme—helping children.

“The best thing we can do as adults is to build relationships with kids,” he says. “I believe the greatest job I have in my life as a retiree is to see a door that God has opened and know I need to go through it.”

05/14/2018: A Curriculum for Christlikeness

I wrote a paper about 15 years ago, as my PromiseKeepers men’s group read and discussed Dallas Willard’s book, The Divine Conspiracy. Chapter Nine, “A Curriculum for Christlikeness,” begged further contemplation and prayer reflecting on the fundamental question, “What would it take for me to really decide to become a serious follower or disciple of Jesus?” The following is a dissertation on this chapter and begins to postulate how we as Christ followers might stop making promises with good intentions and begin to live our lives in relation with God’s fullness and promise for us.

A Curriculum for Christlikeness
(A commentary on Chapter Nine)
by Chester David

In Chapter 9 of his book, The Divine Conspiracy, Dallas Willard presents a clear explanation for how a Jesus follower chooses to become a disciple. He says that Christians in many churches today may have come to a place in their lives where a mediocre relationship with Christ and/or a semi or pseudo-fulfilled life has become the norm. My writing this summary has helped me to answer a question that I have been asking for more than two years, a question that has been tugging at my heart: What would it take for me to really decide to become a serious follower or disciple of Jesus? What is the thinking process that leads someone to give up his old skin and to follow Jesus at any cost? I continue to see in myself an acceptance of a life that at times is incomplete and unfulfilled in relation with God’s fullness and promise for me.
I also see our church failing to sell to its members the notion that we can and should expect a life far greater than we ever imagined through the power of Christ in whom we fully place our faith and trust. In light of our discussions to seek God’s guidance in becoming a missional church, I find Chapter Nine of this book to be absolutely relevant and enlightening. This paper is both a summary of Chapter Nine of Dallas Willard’s book as well as my thoughts related to my own spiritual development.
“So those who hear me and do what I say are like those intelligent people who build their homes on solid rock, where rain and floods and winds cannot shake them.” (Matt. 7:24-25) We all hear God’s words. We all have learned the stories and the facts of who Jesus is. We all believe He is our Savior and Lord. Our problem is not a matter of knowledge or more information. It seems to be a matter of will.
Dallas Willard writes that we are living in a time when consumer Christianity has become the accepted norm. A consumer Christian, according to the author’s definition, is one who accepts the idea of grace for forgiveness of his sins, but does not give his life and innermost thoughts, feelings, and intentions over to the kingdom. Christian consumerism infects us all. We are assaulted daily with lines such as “You can have it all” or “Do what feels natural.” Sometimes I wonder whether I really want to lose control of my life to a demanding king. I recently met a man through PromiseKeepers who is “on fire” with what Jesus is doing in his daily life. He exhibited an “in-your-face” type of ministry as he related his story of God giving him many opportunities to witness to people in his work and in the marketplace. I tell you the truth, I felt both a little turned off and guilty as I listened to him. It made me very uncomfortable that this man had stepped over the line. I struggled with the dichotomy of wanting to run the other way from him on the one hand, yet wanting to be like him as well. Following Jesus is a radical change that often feels uncomfortable.
I might have accepted such zealous evangelism if I were on the mission field in Bolivia for instance, but not in my own neighborhood. I could even rationalize that God needs people like that, as long as it is not me. I wonder why there seems to be a line for me separating acceptable actions while on a mission trip and behaviors in a life filled with a mission under God’s direction. While in Bolivia and focused on God’s work, I felt vital and increased in a God-directed life with a mission. God evidently used me to do his work, and He magnified my efforts. Each mission experience has been filled with abundance. Each time I came home with the fear that life would too soon return to normal. I did not want to come down off the mountain.
Willard clearly connects this abundance of life in Christ with obedience. If we are to live a life of abundance at Ardmore, then we must obey what Jesus is telling us. There is no other way. We can not recreate or redefine this relationship to fit our consumer lifestyle. He says that our churches today seem to skirt around the reality of obedience. There seems to be a “disconnect” between the two concepts.
The author earlier describes the idea of “bar code” Christianity, a concept that may prevail in our churches today. Bar coding maintains the concept that somehow our professions of faith in Jesus places a mark on us. When we die, we pass through a scanner, and God separates us from the unlabeled. Don’t we think that way a little? Being saved does not depend on our being “good” Christians. It depends on our profession of faith. The pay off for having faith and being scanned comes at death and thereafter. This gospel then becomes a gospel of “sin management.” Bar code Christians miss out on the abundance of life offered to us in the kingdom during our lifetimes. This abundance is given as a gift to those who enter into a love relationship with Jesus.
What must happen to energize and convict us to give up our comfortable life in order to seek and embrace obedience? How can we get people to believe the things they have already heard? The author suggests a way to bridge the gap between hearing the Word and doing. It is critical that we connect the reality of our spoken faith with day to day life decisions and actions. We must become partners with God in working in this world. He talks about reigning with Jesus. We are not only working together as one, but indeed we act as if our life and actions are His. We live with the assurance of victory, joy and eternity.

The Two Primary Objectives of the Course of Training

In order to clearly focus on becoming Christlike, the disciple must take on two primary objectives. The curriculum is one that teaches us to plant our “life on the rock,” the life that both hears and does.

1) We must bring the disciple to the point where he dearly loves and constantly delights in the Father made flesh in the person of Jesus. He must realize that there is no limit to the goodness of God’s plan and intention for us and no limit to the power that God has to carry out this plan.

2) We must change our routine and habitual responses against the kingdom of God in order to fully and dynamically relate to God’s love for us.

Enthralling the Mind with God

This section is one of the most important of the book! If we are to meet the first objective, how can we help people love Jesus to a point of “enthrallitude?” It would be wonderful if church members were filled with so much excitement about following Jesus that every conversation bubbled over with Jesus’ daily working in their lives. I hear that kind of excitement about yesterday’s big play or a sale on a clothing item. Many casual conversations eventually revolve around our children, who are the center of our lives. Describing your new son’s first encounter with the neighbor’s puppy is what I mean by being in love. Making daily sacrifices to give every advantage to your children, to spend time with them, and to become the best parent you can be is what is meant by enthrallitude.
I often wonder how one gets to the point of desire to become a committed and heart-changed disciple? Does this desire to be Christlike and to follow him evolve from an overwhelming recognition of His love for us, or do we adhere to a discipline of obedience that leads to a love relationship with Jesus? Which comes first, the love for Jesus or the obedience?
Thomas Aquinas remarks that “love follows knowledge.” We are able to love Christ partly because we have a vision of who He is and what He is doing in our lives. Staying in love calls us to remember the One who has showered us with His goodness. How quickly we tend to forget what God did for us yesterday, or ten minutes ago! We get caught up in our own solutions and in the immediate influences of our lives, and we often need to remember how God had handled a similar situation in the past or how he unexpectedly revealed himself when we were down.
Willard teaches that what we think about influences who we become. Our minds offer us the greatest freedom to go where we wish to go, even when our bodies are trapped in an illness or imprisoned. “The deepest revelation of our character is what we choose to dwell on in thought.” Thus part of God’s call to us has always been to think on him.
He offers three areas of thought that would allow God to enter our lives in such a way that we fall in love with Him. These Willard calls “areas of necessary intellectual clarity.” These are ways in which God comes before the mind, where we can lose ourselves in love of him. These are also ways in which we can present God to others.
1. The Almighty God is the Maker of Heaven and Earth. Most uncertainties in the minds of disciples are the result of unclarities or failures to understand His nature. These inhibit our confidence and love in a God who is constantly at work in the disciples of Jesus and in us. The point is that in the training that brings apprentices of Jesus to live on the rock of hearing and doing, God must be made present to their minds in such a way that they can see his magnificent beauty and their love can be strongly drawn to him. Interestingly, the author makes the point that some liberal churches erect an idol called “Love.” They are in love with the idea of falling in love. In contrast theology on the right, he says, “tends to be satisfied with right doctrines and traditions without ever moving on to a consuming admiration of, delight in, and devotion to the God of the universe.”
The icon of “scientific knowledge” has eroded our thinking in today’s world. There is a negative prejudice in modern thought against supporting the idea of “God” with any factual knowledge or discovery. Over two centuries of “advanced thinking” have been devoted to ruling God out of consideration as the creator and sovereign Lord of our universe.
It is imperative that we believe that God is God of the universe and therefore has absolute control over every molecule and atom, down to the pesky gnat flying around your face or the blade used to execute dissident rebels in Mid-Eastern countries.
2. God is God of Jesus and His People. From the beginning of Biblical revelation, people are blessed by God personally and engaged by God in a face-to-face relationship renewed by periodic visits. (Gen 1:27-31) Even when we turn our backs on God and put ourselves on the cosmic thrown, He continues to be faithful and to make every possible provision for our salvation. We must constantly hold in our minds this new covenant which is poured out for each of us personally.
The character of God lies in the personhood of Jesus. “Haven’t you yet understood who I am, Philip? Whoever has seen me has seen the Father.” (John 14:9) The key, then, to loving God is to see Jesus and to hold him before the mind with as much fullness and clarity as possible. We do that by making the Gospels a permanent presence/possession of our soul. The disciple must have indelibly imprinted upon his soul the reality of this person who walked among us and suffered a cruel death to enable each of us to have life in God. This reality must be absolutely and unmistakably personal. The love of Jesus for us and the magnificence of his person bring us to adore Jesus. “Once you come to know the love of Jesus Christ,
nothing else in the world will seem as beautiful or desirable.”
3. God’s Hand Is Seen Through the Events of the Disciple’s Life. We must come to a realization that our very own existence is not only made possible by God but that our lives are an extension of as well as a result of Gods’ plan within His framework of unqualified goodness. We come to an assurance that in our heart of hearts our lives must be a good thing. The result of this type of thinking is that we should have no doubt that the path appointed for us is good, and that nothing irredeemable has happened or can ever happen to us on our way to our destiny in God’s full world. “It is confidence in the invariably overriding intention of God for our good, with respect to all the evil and suffering that may befall us on life’s journey, that secures us in peace and joy.”
In each aspect of a disciple’s training the object is to enable the disciple
to be thankful for who he is and what he has. This contentment is rooted in the eternal life with God who heals and allows us to stop demanding satisfaction. The only thing that matters is that you belong to God. You have been chosen. This is the message of the kingdom. “I can do all things in him who gives me strength.” (Phil 4:13) In light of this gratitude, we return to receive and even welcome our life as it actually has been and is.

Developing Kingdom Habits

“Put into practice what you learned and received and saw in me, and the God of peace will be with you.” (Phil 4:9) Paul did not tell the church in Colossus how to do this. This statement was not perceived as a vague or general platitude. It was an instruction that everybody understood, a pervasive core practice. After all, Jesus modeled this behavior. Walking in the kingdom is never a matter of “how to.” It is a process of walking with a person.
In reading Dallas Willard’s insights I think he might say it is a matter of living with one’s focus so harmoniously in Jesus and with the reality of God’s purpose that one takes on the mind of Christ. Our thinking made righteous in our obedience to Jesus leads to right actions. Our obedience is somehow rewarded by God in his desire to give us an abundance of life. As a result of this new life, increased by the blessings of God’s power, we desire to know and follow him more fully. Everything we do, because we partner with Jesus to do His work, becomes eternal and significant. Even our solitude and our silence become a part of the incredible journey.

Practical Steps

To spell out any list of steps or prescriptive behavior for achieving a kingdom heart seems ludicrous in light of Jesus’ teachings. Our human nature of course wants to plug into a formula for success. Our temptation is to take the list of fruits of the Spirit and memorize them, so that we can check them off one at a time. We often end up pursuing the fruit instead of pursuing the man. Following Jesus is not about following a set of rules. Discipleship is not about learning to behave in a prescript manner. If we took Jesus’ teachings literally and legalistically, we would cut off a body part every time it caused us to sin, thereby limping and dragging ourselves into heaven on mere bloody stumps with no arms, eyes, etc. You get the picture.
Achieving goodness is a result of the work of Christ in transforming one’s heart from the inside out. A transformed heart does not follow rules but acts out of vision and passion. We cannot conquer sin, but the temptation to sin can be removed when we see the world as God’s mission field and see our place in God’s plan. Likewise, our role individually and collectively in reaching a standard of what God wants us to be must be written in our transformed hearts. As we seek to define practical steps to becoming a mission-minded church, may we seek to understand the God that Jesus followed. In our serving Jesus as his “slaves,” we are also serving with him on a basis of “shared cooperation in which his aims are our aims and our understanding and harmony with his kingdom are essential to what He does with and through us.”
Willard offers five dimensions of our eternal life in the kingdom that are arranged more or less in a progression. It might be interesting and beneficial to think about where we are in these stages and what specific activities are often associated with these stages.
1. Confidence in and reliance upon Jesus as the Savior. It is a reality of inclusiveness, but only inclusive of those who believe and have this confidence. Some issues include acceptance of people who are different and who share a love for Christ, urgency in the message of salvation, excluding liberal thought that is not Biblical, recognition of pain, emptiness and sin when we are lost, accepting the reality of the Evil One, and making the Easter story a year-round consciousness. Activities include testimonies, celebration and worship, witnessing to the lost, praying for the lost, talking about Jesus, prioritizing our life activities, Bible study, and training to prepare members to both give their testimonies and confront false beliefs.
2. Desire to be His apprentice in living in the kingdom of God. Faith in Jesus is more than an acceptance that He will save us from Hell. It is a decision to set oneself apart from worldly things and to live within his word and practice his teachings. Some issues include courage to be different in doing the right thing, discernment of sin, busy schedules, loving others while not accepting their sin, and conviction that nothing is more important in one’s life than to follow Jesus. Activities may include Bible study, discipleship training, praying for ourselves, mission and outreach groups, and sharing Jesus with others.
3. The abundance of life that comes with living in the word leads to obedience. Our personal experiences in Christ bring us to love Jesus and the Father with our whole being. So we love to obey him. Doing is born out of love, not law. God promises that if this is the case, He will disclose Himself to the disciple. Everything in our lives becomes a learning opportunity to know God. Some issues include giving up things that distract from one’s spiritual growth, being judgmental about everything one does and sees, tolerance, dealing with rejection from others, increased problems and activity from Satan, trusting God to provide in new and strange situations, and trusting that the results are eternal. Activities include tithing, thanksgiving and expectation before the miracle, outpouring of missions into the community, increased baptisms, oneness in spirit and vision, and spending more time outside the church walls.
4. A life of discipline and obedience leads to an inner transformation of the heart and soul. Love is genuine to our deepest core. The fruits of the spirit are brought about in us as we emulate Jesus and work in his name. Issues may include time management for individuals and church staff, space concerns, Ardmore community as a mission field, increased lay leadership, and finding a way to support people’s calling and strengths. Activities include rampant growth in missions activities, smaller Sunday School classes, discovering our gifts, disciple making, sharing our successes with the congregation, and focus on prayer groups.
5. Power to work the works of the kingdom. “Those who rely on me shall do the works that I do, and even greater ones.” (John 14:12) It is not that we can do such great works, but that anything we do in Jesus’ name is made great beyond our human ability. God needs the church to do His work in the world. Great power is promised to us. Issues include power, letting God, acting only with the proper focus, a mindset for growth, burden for the lost, and a community of genuine love. Activities include church planting, ordination of our members into the ministry, utilizing our space for groups and/or other congregations, silence and reflection, and revising/upgrading our vision.

Our connection to our community and our world has not always been like it is today. The way we do church and the ways in which we live our lives are dynamic and relational. We are called to grasp a true sense of our history to understand what we need to do today. Sometimes we think that just because we do things one way that we have always done it the same way. I’m too old to fall in that trap. “The only way forward for the people of Jesus today is to reclaim for today the time-tested practices by which disciples through the ages have learned to ‘hear and do,’ to build their life upon the rock.” Change does not require great numbers of consenting people. It requires one transformed heart.

Oh God, may we see you clearly and love you dearly. Give us the wisdom and courage to stand and follow you into a new life in your kingdom. Amen

4/4/2018: The Garden

He said it. Jesus said that the sower will throw seeds on the ground and some will grow and some will not. I am a gardener in my heart. I love to spend time in the dirt. One of my qualifications to this claim is that I love getting dirty, even at the expense of my image. I often come into the house with soil on my shoes only to get chastised by my wife for trampling on our carpet and leaving bits of dirt all over the house. I must say that I do not have a pair of jeans that are presentable to wear in public. They all have stains on the knees. I’ll even go out in my shirt and tie after work to check on my yard, and without a thought I will begin pulling up weeds and wild onions. My family knows where to find me when I’m late for dinner. I sometimes do not fulfill my assigned task of filling up the water glasses. I stay in trouble. If you don’t love gardening, you wouldn’t understand.

I’ve had a garden for as long as I can remember. Over 30 years ago we planted a good-sized plot in the country. We shared this garden with some friends. We would often go by after work to check the progress of the tomatoes and green peppers. I’d come home and report that there were 24 tomatoes and 37 peppers coming along. I never thought it was strange to count these new creations, but everybody else thought I was odd. After all, why wouldn’t one count the number of tomatoes that one has worked and nurtured from seeds? Over the years I have been distracted from spending time in my garden. I guess life takes a toll. We grow older, have responsibilities, have aches and pains, all to say that I don’t work the ground like I used to. I don’t love the produce any less, but my back doesn’t allow me to spend hours in the soil. Even if I were able to devote my life to working my garden, I could never remove all the weeds. I know; I’ve tried. Ground is like that. It is its nature to sprout whatever is left untouched.

Does it really matter? Some years I’ll plant my tomatoes, snow peas, peppers and beans, and I’ll have a bumper crop. Some years aren’t so very good. I have a list of things to blame it on. Over the past several years I have continued to put seeds in the ground and left it to chance whether they produce. Sometimes I even called it God’s Will. After all, Jesus said that not all seeds will grow anyway. I guess this scenario depicts our lives as well. I often expect the seeds to produce lots of tomatoes without working the soil. Yes, I’m talking about sin. I can’t stop sinning any more than I can remove all the weeds from my garden. As with my garden, I don’t have control over the outcomes, but I still love getting dirty.

What have I learned from this? God is the gardener of course. I am the seed. When I pull up a weed or plant, I’ve noticed how short a time it takes to wilt and die. When I am unable to work my garden at all, it doesn’t take long for the weeds to choke out all the plants. Any effort that I put into it out of love pays dividends. I don’t have to remove all the weeds to enjoy a good crop. Somehow nature takes care of the growing despite my best efforts. The end result is a mixture of my effort, God’s grace and our mutual love for seeing a healthy, ripe tomato.

I heard a sermon on Sunday about forgiveness that triggered something deep within me. I guess one thing that has happened is that I no longer feel guilty for all the weeds. I have grown up with a lot of issues and unhealthy messages. These issues have choked my relationship with God. But God has made it clear that these images of myself are not his images of me. He has destroyed them and thus has set me free of guilt. In a vision one evening a few years ago I pictured a joker, an insidious, slimy blob and a beast. All three creatures had threatened to overwhelm me, but when I just mentioned the name of God, each time his light permeated and filled me, and these images disappeared. The next morning during communion when I took the bread, all of these creatures reappeared and then drowned in a lake of fire.

Forgiveness of my sins has become very personal. The love of God through the passion and death of Jesus has transformed something in my heart. I wondered why God put these visions in my head. These creatures helplessly struggling in a fiery lake had no chance in light of my simple act of taking bread. This total defeat of Satan trumpets the truth that God’s redemption of my soul is both complete and dynamic. In his light God has already destroyed my raging ego, my uncontrolled anger and my need for control. These sins were represented by each image in my vision. They are all gone in his eyes.

So in this Easter season I have a sense of humility and thanksgiving. When I’m singing an anthem in the choir or just out in my garden pulling a few weeds, I will do it to his glory. I love getting dirty. I suspect God loves it too.

03/12/2018: Being Fully Human

I’m enjoying reading on a very snowy day. I’ve ended up with about 5-6 books that I’ve started, so I need more reading days like today. I have to thank Chuck Spong for giving our Love Out Loud team the book, “Soulful Spirituality, Becoming Fully Alive and Deeply Human,” by Dr. David Benner. We often think about our spiritual journey as a quest to be a better Christian. Benner writes that instead of becoming less human to take on prescripted behaviors that sometimes move us away from becoming whole, God calls us to be fully human. Being fully human should necessitate experiencing the radical amazement that life should evoke. Benner is convinced that becoming fully human – becoming the unique and whole human being that I am intended by God to be – is right at the center of the Christian spiritual journey. Now that’s just Chapter 1. Good stuff by this professor at Richmont Graduate University.

02/15/2018: A missed Miracle

GRIN Ministry. Posting positive acts around us. Where do we see God at work in our crazy world?

Miracle of Baby Roger:

Do we know a miracle when we see one? I guess that if we’re not expecting one, we’ll miss it. I think they are around us everyday, but we sometimes look away or right through and don’t ever see it. That almost happened to me yesterday.

We had the incredible privilege of being in the room with Allison during her 24-wk ultrasound. Yes, her parents and mother-in-law crowded around Allison Anderson and Kevin Anderson to get a peak of little Roger. And did he put on a show for us, doing somersaults, waving his hands and feet and bouncing up and down on Allison’s bladder. (I have a picture of this experience, but I’ll let the mom and dad decide to share it.) The technician pointed out all parts of Roger’s tiny body, and I just squinted and tried to imagine what she was talking about. I saw a confusing mess of images and I couldn’t make out too much.

I came away a little disappointed, but I realized that it didn’t matter that I didn’t see it clearly. I came away with an overwhelming sense of God’s life-breathing miracle. I think everyone who has been in this situation knows exactly what I am talking about. God is creating something more wonderful than we can imagine, even when we can’t quite see it clearly.

I share this miracle with you today, because we need to remember how God speaks to us, and even more we need to dwell on how much he loves us, even when we can’t feel it. Especially now when we are going through difficult times, when the future is uncertain, and when we have felt abandoned, God is creating a miracle, one we can’t quite make out clearly right now, but we know it’s going to be glorious.

01/30/2018: Being Chosen

While visiting my wife’s two brothers and their families this past weekend, we met my niece and her children for dinner one evening. I had not really gotten to know Jack and Clementine previously, perhaps only a couple of years ago when they were not old enough to remember. I was happy that my niece Rachel was able to join us, but I hadn’t really thought much about the kids.
The car pulled up in the driveway, and the three of them got out and walked towards us. There were the usual greetings and hugs galore. And then I noticed little 4-y.o. Clementine looking at me and hissing like a cat. I wasn’t sure what that was about, but a few moments later she did it again. Her mom announced that Clementine often makes cat noises. As the others were chatting in the parking lot, Clementine grabbed my hand and asked me to follow her. I was perplexed, but when a 4-y.o. takes you by the hand, you go with the flow.
Later as we entered the restaurant, Clementine ordered me to sit next to her. I was looking forward to talking with one of the adults, but Clementine demanded that she wanted to sit in between her mom and me. We sat together at dinner and connected in a special way. It was a dinner to remember, Clementine and her great uncle. My wife Susan reminded me that she had chosen an uncle in a similar way when she was four years old.
I was a bit uncomfortable at first that Clementine had chosen me. I didn’t understand why, and I wasn’t sure how to act. All I knew that I was special for whatever reasons an innocent child expresses a special kind of love and attention. This encounter makes me think about the fact that God has chosen us to be special for some reason that we don’t understand. We are God’s chosen ones, and we have been seen by God from all eternity as unique, special, precious beings. How do I act as the chosen one?
With Clementine I didn’t want to disappoint her. After a few moments I concluded that she just wanted to be loved back and paid attention to. She put no demands on my behavior other than my presence. There were several times that we caught each other’s eye and smiled. A couple of times I hissed back at her. I came away with a great memory of being chosen by a 4-y.o. child. Somehow I feel that there is something very innocent and pure in me that has been seen and loved.

01/23/2018: Expecting God

GRIN Ministry. Posting positive acts around us. Where do we see God at work in our crazy world?

You know our family has been going through a very sad and difficult time with losing a niece and sister-in-law within 3 weeks. We continue to support and pray for Susan’s brother and his 2 daughters. They are trying to make sense of their lives. We had planned some time ago a trip to visit one of his daughters this weekend, and what a divinely serendipitous time to visit. Today I received a text from a good friend and coworker in Love Out Loud that she is lifting us up in prayer. Why didn’t I expect this word today? I know God is at work through acts of love like this. It reminds me how we can make a difference with people around us with a heart-felt word. It reminds me that God loves each of us, and he sends his followers to care for and touch one another.

10/7/2017: Experiencing Grace

Many of our “words” that we use today have lost their power and original meaning. Words have infiltrated our vocabulary and become overused to the point that they mean something much different from their etiology. Take the word “awesome.” Yes, I hear this word used to describe everything and even as a response to a story in conversation. Having heard “awesome” so frequently I find myself using it, when I don’t really mean awesome. Webster’s dictionary offers the meaning, “inspiring awe, admiration or fear, extraordinary.” Is that what we really mean when we say, “Awesome!”? Probably not. We usually mean a dumbed down version of awesome to mean “cool.” Other words that are overused and have lost their meaning are amazing, absolutely and interesting. We can make a list a mile long.

There seems to be two recent phenomena or cultural developments that have accelerated the demise of the power of our language: social media and sound bite compromise. With the number of available platforms, communication has become more impersonal and relative. In the post-modern world all ideas and values become equal, so that what we read, by default if not scrutinized, is fact. It becomes very difficult to discriminate and filter the plethora of words and ideas bombarding us each day. We have also become accustomed to quick access to knowledge and solutions. We have become satisfied with positions that are easy and partial. Our thirst for depth is sometimes overwhelmed by our constant barrage of information. After all, we would have to slow down to absorb deeper contemplation and to seek a harmony with the world.

So it is with our understanding of God. I am guilty of settling. I find myself preferring to read books about understanding the Christian walk to reading God’s Word in the Bible. Yet, every time I pick up the Bible I am awed by the power of Scripture. God himself desires to speak to us in Scripture. He speaks to us through many media, nevertheless I wonder how much I am missing by not engaging in serious and consistent Bible study. Recently I have thought a lot about Grace. What’s so amazing about Grace? Can I really grasp the radical concept and power of what God has freely given us? I’m not so sure that I can. If I am really honest, I must confess that somewhere in my inner thoughts and deep in my soul, I have felt that I deserve Grace. I have balanced the good and sin in my life, and I am convinced that the good outweighs evil by far. However, the more I fall in love with the real Jesus, not the one I have made up in my head, the more I get out of my head knowledge and dwell in the depths of my heart, I am convicted of the incredible and undeserved love from God that I embrace.

What narratives impede our sanctification and full understanding of God’s Grace? There are concepts of Grace that have molded my current thinking that need to be replaced by a Jesus narrative. By that I mean I want to know and fall in love with the God that Jesus knows, not the God that I made up to further serve my ego. I want to be transformed by a God who is so loving and so abundant that He breathes into me a life that glorifies Him. This can only happen when we die to ourselves ad allow God to replace our ways with his ways. This can only happen when we are able to trust God completely, a trust that is rooted in a life time of His provision and the outpouring of a personal, unconditional love that passes all understanding. This Jesus narrative allows me to face all things with the confidence and power of God’s incarnation and victory.

The God whom Jesus knows is Abba, daddy. In a cluttered room I want to climb up into my daddy’s lap and rest there, knowing that I am safe and loved, sometimes without a word spoken, but snuggled up so close to him that I feel his heartbeat. As a small boy I saw God as the Creator, the Overseer, the Judge. How can such a God beckon me to sit so close on his lap? As a man, I am a small child yearning for the love that God bestows. Perhaps God knows me better than I know myself. Perhaps he doesn’t even care about all my sins and earthly desires as long as I keep crawling back up on his lap. When I am there, I am whole. Nothing else matters. The room is full of bustle, but I am in my daddy’s lap.

Grace is a word, a word with many connotations. Grace is a concept, plagiarized by overuse and often misunderstood by my shallowness. When I think of Grace in the Bible, I always come back to God’s provision in the wilderness. The Jews were wandering, hungry, disobedient and self-absorbed. They didn’t deserve God’s radical gift of manna, yet God provided fresh manna daily to bring them through. When we spat on Jesus and crucified him, we didn’t get what we deserved. Instead we got the greatest story ever told. What kind of God raises Jesus from the dead and gives us a way to everlasting life despite our depravity? As I reflect on my own journey, I see God’s Grace time and time again. I recall one such time when I had lost almost all hope that my daughter would ever be well due to a chronic illness. I shook my fist at and rejected God, telling him point blank that I had no use for a God who couldn’t do any better than that. I had nowhere else to turn. Inexplicably I felt God’s arms wrapped closely around me like never before. He said to me, “I hear your anguish. I love Allison even more than you do. Trust me. Come dwell in my house.” God reached out and beckoned me once again to sit in his lap. Jesus knew his Father loved him this much. That’s where I want to be. Now that is really something awesome.

Chester

9/14/2017: Abundance

I’m reading a book with my PromiseKeepers men, The Good and Beautiful God, by James Bryan Smith. In chapter 4 on generosity the author writes that the process of spiritual formation in Christ is replacing our destructive images and patterns with new images and ideas that filled the mind of Jesus himself. God is generous because he lives in a condition of abundance. His provisions can never be exhausted. And God is moved with compassion because he sees our need. Conversely, we live from a condition of scarcity. We never got enough love from our parents, or enough toys on our birthday or enough confirmation from our friends. We learn that we must protect what we have.

As Christ followers we replace our scarcity with abundance. All that God is and has is a gift to us. So generosity flows from either a sense of abundance or a feeling of compassion. I love this book, partly because Smith reminds me that I am loved unconditionally and sufficiently. We have everything we need in order to flourish. When I read these words, I think of you. Now that’s a pretty awesome compliment.

7/28/2017: Living Water

Most of you probably know the story of Abraham, Sarah and Hagar in Gen 16. I have been thinking about the importance of our journey and the opportunity we have to be a stream in the desert.

7 The Lord’s angel found Hagar near a spring of water in the desert—the spring that is along the road to Shur. 8 He said, “Hagar, servant of Sarai, where have you come from, and where are you going?”

Let me reflect on this image…..
A stream never decides to go where it wants to go. The terrain always dictates its path, unless it wears away at the rocks to form a canyon. That’s really, really hard to do, and it takes a very long time. So are our lives or paths often not completely our own choosing.
For me, my terrain is certainly not linear, once governed by outside forces. In retirement my stream sometimes meanders through different terrains, often stopping for a while to form a deeper body of water, but spilling over to explore other paths. Wherever I go, whatever path I touch, life is nourished or started along my banks. My water is life-giving. Animals come to my edge to drink. People stop by to be refreshed and renewed. In my waters people’s lives are transformed to eternal life, an abundant life and a resurrected life. In my water God reveals himself in love, power and “I am.” In these waters I am complete. My fulfillment is not where I flow, but what I carry along. May my banks overflow with living water.

Washing a child’s feet…..
I am excited about what God is going to do tomorrow at Ashley. Volunteers will want to come at 11 a.m. if possible, or soon thereafter, since you should beat the crowd and park more easily. Also we will be getting organized and choosing where volunteers want to serve. Brian will be in charge from Samaritan’s Feet National. I am the site coordinator.

I have no idea how many volunteers will show up, but I am basking in God’s glory and provision that tomorrow will be a great day. It’s a time to connect with the community volunteers, families in the neighborhood, the school staff of course the children. It’s a time to pray and expect God to be present in seen and unseen ways. Come and stay as long as you are able.

Chester

6/11/2017: Abundance Revisited

3/31/2017: Real World Relationships

I hope you don’t mind my borrowing from the WMU Missions Mosaic magazine this month. The question therein is asked, “How can we be more intentional and live with authenticity with our neighbors and co-workers?” Both words, intentional and authenticity, caught my attention. There are 3 points to doing so:

1. Recall how God has been at work in your life. Sometimes we are able to recall God’s work in our lives, and then we get sidetracked and frustrated at the next negative thing that happens. We need to keep remembering all God has done for us. “The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy.” (Psa 126:3) When these things are in the front of our minds, we become a more willing and impactful witness for Him.

2. Don’t be afraid to be real. Sometimes God opens doors that allow us to experience and share with others in similar situations. When we are brave and share difficult circumstances that God has brought us through, we are giving Him glory, and our neighbors can begin to see how God can do the same for them. “Praise be to God, our Father of compassion and God of comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in trouble….” (2Cor 1:3-4)

3. Live out the Gospel. One way the world will know we are Christians is by our actions. Living authentically is living out what God has told us to do through His word. We need to love God wholeheartedly, and we need to love our neighbor as we love ourselves (Mark 12:30-31). This means loving people and walking beside them through life. It requires to leave our “front porch” and meet our neighbor regardless of the risk we may face.

2/20/2017: Personal Reflection

You know one of my gnawing questions for the past couple of years has to do with my understanding of God’s desire for us to have abundant life. “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” (John 10:10) Do we really know how to live abundantly? How much of our understanding of “abundance” is rooted in our American Christian journey? We are told, and sometimes it is just implied, that we can have whatever we put our mind to. To a point that is probably true. Achievement and success comes with perseverance, hard work and networking. I hear all too often that success, wealth and healing is a result of God’s blessings on us. Not a problem with that, right? The underlying implication is often that we deserve it because of our faithfulness and favor. Somehow we have done something right, and God is pleased with us.

This sounds a little too much like prosperity Gospel thinking. I’m always happy to give God the credit for someone’s healing or promotion. But underneath there is a nagging question, “What about the millions of faithful Christians who pray their hearts out and still live in poverty or face hardships?” Were they not in God’s favor? What if my ill child dies? Does God love me less? And what about the overwhelming numbers of Christians who live in refugee camps, their lives stripped away from any inkling of American abundance? What if we lived in a tent, stood in line for soup daily, slept with several brothers or sisters, had no job to go to and not much hope to look forward to make things better? What would our faith be like then?

I think we all go there, at least we have been there. We all ask these questions. I remember shaking my fist at God and threatening him if he couldn’t do a better job at healing Allison. I remember screaming out to God without words, because I had none left. I thought God wasn’t listening. I could not go on living with the pain. In the midst of my anguish, Jesus knocked. He literally walked right into our house to tell me that he had heard my cry and came to show me the way. I didn’t know how things would end, but I knew God cared and loved me enough to show up at my door. What kind of Creator hears my whimper and comes into my life to dwell? Is this what Jesus means by abundant life? This sounds like the only blessing I need.

Perhaps the young Christian boy learning to play the djembe from his father in a Dogon hut in central Mali, his family fleeing from annihilation by Al-Qa’ida, knows something about God’s abundance. Perhaps the Christian family living in the Zaatari Refugee Camp in Jordan, one of 60,000 people living in tents, has a real sense of what it means to live abundantly in Jesus. They are unlikely to equate God’s love with having material things. For me, I see this abundant living in a rather basic, stripped down scenario. I have known people in the last days of their lives, lying in their death beds, all things of this world having faded away, their eyes fixed on Jesus. God is carrying them from one life into another. They are fully trusting that God has provided everything they need. Isn’t that how we want to live our lives, putting ourselves fully in his hands with the confidence that we have everything we need? Isn’t that abundance?

Chester

2/14/2017: Store items for Ashley students

Ashley needs supplies for the new Behavior Intervention Store reopening at the end of this month. Ardmore Baptist Church has been a vital resource to provide items that the children can purchase with their behavioral bonus points (cash).

Please look at the list below and generously give gently used or new items for Ashley. We are not limited to the items on the list. Feel free to give other things you think the children would enjoy. Collection bins are located off the lobby at the stairs and near the entrance door at the covered car loading area. Thank you again for your ongoing support and prayers for Hunger2Health and the Ashley neighborhood.

Coloring books, Happy Meal toys, Puzzles, balls of all kinds, Hot Wheel Cars,
girls’accessories, Memory Games, Costume Jewelry, small stuffed animals,
match box/hotwheels cars, stickers, college pennants, small plastic dinosaurs or farm animals, pencils, pads of paper, washable markers, small plastic figurines for girls (fairies, unicorns etc.).

2/7/2017: Telling Our Stories

Don’t you love a good story? We are all moved by a good story, one which speaks to us personally, strikes a nerve of truth, compels us to stretch out beyond ourselves. One of my favorite stories is the story of June in Joy Luck Club. It is a story of healing and hope. June and three other first generation American girls rebel against their Chinese traditions in order to find their true selves, despite their mothers’ hopes and dreams for them. They find that who they really are is very much connected with where they came from. It is very much my story. I am a first generation American born to Hungarian parents. If you remember the story of June, she was sent off to China just after her mother’s death to greet and to bring a message to her two older sisters who had been abandoned as infants by their mother during their flight from their homeland. These estranged sisters did not know anything about their mother or that she had died. June struggled with how to bring her mother’s message of hope and love. She feared that she would fail to relay the message adequately. In the end it was June’s presence and her personhood that were sufficient. Her sisters were able to know something of their mother through June’s presence.
People whom we know need to hear our stories. People whom God puts in our paths don’t know Jesus Christ. These people may only get a glimpse of Christ by knowing us. We have an opportunity to touch a chord of personal truth because we understand what they are feeling. We have experienced their pain. We have cried with them in their grief. We have known darkness and hopelessness without the saving grace of Jesus Christ. We have shaken our fists in anger when God seemed to turn His back on us when we cried out in need. We know the power of God’s healing. In the end our presence and our story will bridge the gap of their despair and pain. The lost will see Christ through us as we share in their lives. In the end God will act to reclaim a sinner or a lost soul, and He will do so because you shared your unique story.
My story is ordinary and compelling. Christ pursued and called me just as he calls everyone else. My barriers prevented me from listening for a very long time, until I exhausted my own answers and had nowhere to turn. I did not survey the religions available to me and choose Christianity. I didn’t even seek to know Jesus. I’m not sure what happened except that one day it was clear to me that Jesus was the answer. God had sent to me several people who continued to share their stories. Even though I listened, I was not ready. But I kept listening, until one day God’s light was the only thing I could see.
Darkness had taken over my life. It wasn’t an evil thing; just I never could make sense of my life. I figured that I could make the best of each day, but the best only ate at me in the long run. The very best I could offer was not good enough. I could create art, learn scholarly things and love others passionately. However everything that was around me and everything I could create was temporary. In the end everything dies, and we are merely a wisp in the wind of time, blown from one place to another until everythig we ever did has disappeared. God had abandoned me. We live our lives fully, and then we no longer matter. My anger at God blinded me and kept me from seeking him.
To hear Pam ask me in 1975 whether I knew Jesus as my Savior and Lord caught my attention. I had been to church as a youth, and I had heard this statement many times before. Nobody ever asked me personally to affirm my relationship with Jesus. Why now was this question so compelling? I guess that I had nothing else to live for. This question begged a simple answer, yes or no. Perhaps this story was the truth. Perhaps God had reached into my life one more time to claim me as his own. If this were true, if Jesus had died for me, if God really loved me like nobody ever had, if God really raised him from the dead and provided a way to eternal life, then I really had a reason to life again. Perhaps this time I was ready to listen.
I knew Pam only for a brief time. She happened to be there at a low time in my life, a time when I needed some answers. My wife Susan had been praying for me. Pam took another step towards me. I guess I took a step towards her as well. After all, I sensed God’s nudge, his knocking. Pam was Christ to me in a way I had not seen. I’m not sure that she ever knew what I was going through or the effect she had on me. I haven’t seen or heard from her in 41 years, and in a real way it doesn’t matter. It was Jesus who spoke to me. It was God who relentlessly pursued me. It was Pam through whom he spoke.
If that isn’t a compelling story, I don’t know what is.

Chester

1/16/2017: Federal School Improvement Grant

Congratulations to the 3 schools in W-S that received a Federal School Improvement grant to be in effect for the next 5 years. The model for Ashley is a transformation one to improve reading skills, boost leadership skills for students and develop cultural competencies, according to the newspaper article in today’s WS Journal. Ms. Linville also stated that they are focused on overcoming the image of a low-performing school. Experiment in Self-Reliance (ESR) has already approved money to hire a full-time self-sufficiency case worker at Ashley to work with families. This grant also brings with it a school improvement coach. It is a great time to be connected to Ashley Academy as a volunteer!

11/22/2016: Followup to Prayer Coverup

The Prayer Coverup poster is down, and the little people are put away until next year. I can’t say enough about it, how it gave us a prayer focus and a joy for this month. Thank you to the Sisters of Faith for your creativity and your hard work. You guys are awesome.

We had a great response from the people. I remember last Sunday watching a family with small children eager to paste a child on the poster. Dad showed his daughters how we pray for these names on the backpack. I stood there and thanked God for you.

Continue to pray for Ashley school and neighborhood, for the children who need to know that God has a plan for their lives, and pray for opportunities that Ardmore will have to connect and make a difference.

With Stephanie Daniel

11/5/2016: Prayer Coverup

Prayer Coverup has begun. We are asking each of you to take a backpack refrigerator magnet with the name of an Ashley child and to pray for that child and his family. Also take a child doll and place it anywhere you want on the poster of the school. Watch Ashley Academy be covered up in prayer by Ardmore Baptist Church. Thanks to the Sisters of Faith for the creativity and work in making this happen.

10/29/2016: Saturday Academy

I am thrilled to walk into Ashley Academy this morning and find the Saturday Academy still going on. Deloris Huntley, Belinda Beard and I coordinated the beginnings 3 years ago with a group of WFU students. As many as 25 Wake students spent 2 hours every Saturday with Ashley students on reading and math. Saturday Academy lives on. That makes me feel really thankful.

10/19/2016: One Man Tunnel at Ashley

Thank you so much for your support and presence during the 100 men tunnel celebration, BECAUSE of your support we were able to EXCEED our goal of 100 men (106).

This email is to extend information and an invitation regarding our male mentoring program. We would like to pair every male student at Ashley Elementary School with a mentor. If you are interested in becoming a mentor please complete the attached registration form to attend the Mentoring Orientation on October 29, 10:00-12:00, at Ashley Elementary School. Please email the form back to triadmentoringc16@ yahoo.com or fax it to 336-727-2344.

If you have questions please contact Ashley Elementary School at 336-727-2343, and ask for Dr. Lamont Williams.
I apologize for the lateness of this email.

Thank you!
Dr. Lamont Williams

10/12/2016: One hour a week can change a life

By Renee Semones Guest columnist

In light of the many changes made to public education in recent times, some would wonder if this still is true. This is the story of how one simple act of volunteering set a young woman on a totally different life course and how her journey has the potential to change the lives of thousands of young people in our community. I tell it with the hope that others will join in volunteering in our public schools.

Evelyn Perez was like many young Latina children in Winston-Salem who entered kindergarten at Hall-Woodward Elementary School in 1999. She was the oldest child in her family and spoke little English, but she was the unofficial translator for her parents — a 5-year-old child in an adult world. I was assigned to work with her using a literacy, comprehension and problem-solving curriculum designed to help children make significant gains and move toward attaining grade proficiency.

Once a week from October through April, I went to Evelyn’s school and worked with her on these learning problems. We became friends, and, after my own daughter started school, I could see all the advantages I was able to give her, just by speaking English, reading to her and helping her.

Through the hard work of her teachers, and I hope to some extent, my involvement, Evelyn soon caught up with her classmates. She went on to attend Clemmons Middle School and graduated from Parkland High School. Then, because of her hard work and dedication, she received a scholarship to attend Wake Forest University — the first in her family to graduate from high school and then from college. At Wake Forest, Evelyn majored in elementary education.

Today she is a first-year teacher at Smith Farm Elementary School, teaching kindergarten. About her experiences at Hall-Woodward, here is what she says: “I will be teaching kindergarten this year! I met someone from the Winston-Salem Chamber of Commerce and she spoke about the reading program you all TSILL have! Amazing program; not only taught me how to read, but instilled in me a JOY for reading!”

In the Winston-Salem/Forsyth County schools, there are literally thousands of Evelyns — young children in kindergarten, first and second grades who need a little assistance and encouragement from a carrying adult to believe that they can succeed. Many of these children come from homes that are economically disadvantaged, where parents and other caregivers may not have the education to help their children or may be working several jobs to support their families.

The school system has three goals:

Have 90 percent of third-grade students reading on or above grade level by 2020
Close the achievement gap by 10 percent while increasing the performance of all by 2018
Graduate 90 percent of students by 2018

This is a tall order and can’t be done without the support of the entire community — teachers, administrators, parents, family, students and you.

Evelyn Perez is making her re-investment into the youth of our community by becoming a teacher, as are so many other teachers in our schools. Won’t you help by volunteering to work with a young student in the Winston-Salem Chamber’s Corporate Volunteer Program? It just takes an hour a week, and you could change a life.

9/25/2016: Lord of the Small

Image may contain: 1 person, smiling, closeup and outdoor

Chester David

September 25, 2016

Our choir sang, “Lord of the Small,” written in tribute of a child, Erin Buenger, who lost her battle to cancer at the age of 10, and lived life to the fullest in glory to God. God does not manifest Himself in the proud and the powerful, but in those who are weak and frail and humble. The story accompanying the sheet music states, “Some flames burn long and dim. Others burn brightly for a just a moment. We thank God for Erin’s short but vibrant life.”

Here are the lyrics:
Praise to the Lord of the Small Broken Things,
Who Sees the Poor Sparrow That cannot take wing.
Who loves the lame child and the wretch in the street
who comforts their sorrows and washes their feet.

Praise to the lord of the faint and afraid
who girds them with courage and lends them his aid,
he pours out his spirit on vessels so weak,
that the timid can serve and the silent can speak.

Praise to the lord of the frail and the ill
who heals their afflictions or carries them till,
they leave this tired frame and to paradise fly.
to never be sick and never to die.

Praise him, O Praise Him All ye who live
who`ve been given so much and can so little give
our frail lisping praise God will never Despise.
He Sees His Dear ChildrenThrough Mercy Filled Eyes!

9/24/2016: Tim Keller Lecture

Tim Keller is huge, and I am so excited that he will be here at WFU next Thursday at Wait Chapel at 7:30 p. Keller, founding pastor of Redeemer Presbyterian Church in NYC and author of bestselling books—The Reason for God, The Prodigal God, and Prayer: Experiencing Awe and Intimacy with God—will give the lecture “Does Christianity Even Make Sense Any More?” at Wait Chapel on Thursday, September 29th, at 7:30.

Admission is free to all. Seating is first come, first serve.
https://vimeo.com/182737090

My favorite books are Ministries of Mercy and The Gospel as Center.

I think most of you know who this is. I’m definitely going to be there.

http://www.loveoutloudws.com/keller

9/16/2016: Easy money to Ashley Schoo

1. Set your shoppers rewards cards to give money to Ashley School for supplies. Link your shopper rewards cards to Ashley Elementary at cash register every year.

Harris Teeter Code: 3796
Office Depot Code: 70061599
Food Lion: 212368

Other stores include Lowe’s Foods: http://www.lowesfoods.com/back-2-schools/

and Publix: http://corporate.publix.com/…/corporate-cam…/publix-partners

2. Box tops

Box Tops for Education has helped America’s schools earn over $475 million since 1996. You can earn cash for your child’s school by clipping Box Tops coupons from hundreds of participating products. Box Tops also offers easy ways to earn even more cash for your school online.http://www.boxtops4education.com/ Ashley School earned in 2012-3 year $648.16. Money is used for new books, playground equipment, more supplies, field trips, classroom parties and more are possible.

Back2Schools: Together, we can feed hungry minds | lowesfoods.com | Lowes Foods

As a homegrown company, Lowes Foods is committed to giving our youngsters every…

LOWESFOODS.COM

9/16/2016: Five years ago I read an article that W-S was the worst area in the country for families with hungry children. I didn’t believe it, so I set out to find out what was really going on with hunger. This was the beginning of my hunger assessment and the beginning of H2H, a ministry that is transforming lives (mainly mine).

8/22/2016: Ashley Academy needs you to read to a Child.

Hunger to Health Ministry is helping recruit volunteers for the 2016-2017 school year to work with Ashley elementary students!
Caring adults who can commit to ONE HOUR EACH WEEK are needed to tutor and mentor students. Training and materials will be available.

The #1 need for many children at Ashley is a relationship with an adult who cares on a consistent basis. The reading materials are structured and easy.

Interested in being a volunteer? Go to https://www.wsfcsvolunteers.com/
Complete and submit a Volunteer Registration form today.
Orientation/Training for Reading Buddies:
Sep 14, 6 p.m. in Room F221 at Ardmore Baptist Church

8/12/2016: Letter from Rev. Dr.KL Willams (Ashley Staff):

It is no secret that our young boys of color are in a national crisis. Equally, it is no secret that our young boys of color are bottled up with anger and frustration because of the road blocks to their success. However, throughout history, adversity has always been a catalyst for advancement. The challenge is how do we educate our young men of color to take the negative and turn it into a positive. This concept is biblically grounded in Romans 8: 28 “… we know that all things work together for the good of them that love the Lord…”

The Triad Mentoring Coalition, a non-profit mentoring organization, along with local pastors, Business owners, and community leaders have joined forces to address the issues facing our young men of color. Please, if you agree that this is not the only option for our young men of color and if you believe that there is a brighter future for our young men of color then we invite you to link arms with the movement to make a difference.

Please see attached flyer for an opportunity to make a difference and how to register.

If you are interested in being an organizational partner, please click on the link:

https://goo.gl/forms/YWwHO5aTKllldpE02

“For these are all our children. We will all profit by, or pay for, whatever they become” – James Baldwin

Because of Calvary,
Rev. Dr.K.L.. Williams

TRIAD MENTORING COALITION

The Triad Mentoring Coalition (TMC) is a holistic mentoring program that addresses the social, emotional, and cultural needs of Ambassadors (young minority male children) from 8-18 years of age. The Gentlemen Mentors will participate in an…

DOCS.GOOGLE.COM

7/30/2016: A pictorial narrative: Foot washing at Ashley sponsored by Samaritan’s Feet.

We prayed, we worked, we greeted over 200 children and their families, we washed the feet of all the children, we gave away all our shoes, and we celebrated lives that were changed today. Volunteers shared many stories of the personal encounters with children. Some gave their lives to Christ. Volunteers were a light in this community coming together to touch our children.

7/30/2016: Let us pray together.
Because of God’s lavish grace toward us through the work of Jesus, we are motivated to be agents of his grace to others, especially the vulnerable and oppressed. The church has the opportunity to be a light to the nations and to participate in God’s mission by welcoming these children and families to find grace, mercy, and rest in Jesus Christ.

The one thing we can do that will make the biggest difference is to share God’s love with a child. Today we have the privilege of washing the feet of 200 children at Ashley Academy. Lord, we thank you for what you are going in our lives and in these children.

7/14/2016: The Oath for Compassionate Service in Community Development:

– Never do for the poor what they have (or could have) the ability to do for themselves.
– Limit one-way giving to emergency situations.
– Strive to empower the poor through employment, lending and investing, using grants
sparingly to reinforce achievements.
– Subordinate self-interests to the needs of those being served.
– Listen closely to those you seek to help, especially to what is not being said.
– Above all, do no harm.
from Toxic Charity by Robert Lupton

7/8/2016: The Crisis Facing Our Nation . . .

Posted on July 8, 2016 by nalston1

dr-james-c-hash-sr

Bishop James C. Hash, Sr.

I have great concern over the senseless shootings that have occurred in our country, many deaths that could have been avoided. Recently, two civilians were violently murdered. Then on the following day innocent, non-violent protesters had their message shattered by an execution-style attack on the very law enforcement officers that were assigned to protect them. When people fail to respect one another, finding no value in human life, without healthy regard for themselves, their family, or their community, we are all in trouble! Regardless of our differences, in order to live in harmony we must respect one another.

Why can’t people see that these tragic murders are destroying our families? All of the victims, despite their differences, had much in common. Each person that was killed died senselessly leaving behind grieving families, friends, and communities.

We are all very much alike, yet uniquely different! That’s God’s plan for us; we must learn to celebrate and embrace our differences. However, difference does not mean deficit. As Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. stated, “We must learn to live together as brothers or we will perish together as fools.”

We must realize that this affects all our lives in some way. Let’s show love to the families of all who tragically lost their lives. Likewise, we should respond in love even to the families of those who committed these criminal acts. This is not a time for more violence or vengeance. Those responses can only lead to more hurt. In order for this nation to be truly healed, we must come together in forgiveness and prayer!

I appeal to you to PRAY for our government officials as they handle the investigations that follow. In addition, I ask everyone in our communities to exemplify Christ in your conversations and actions. Let us respect one another, and support the laws that uphold righteousness, always following after the ways of peace. Continue to pray for our families, our communities, and our country.

II Chronicles 7:14 – If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

1/24/2016 Remembering: Living a fulfilled and relevant life through 3 simple acts of memory

The sermon this morning was powerful and laser-focused on living a life that is pleasing to God. Those who were not able to come due to the road conditions missed a poignant sermon on stewardship by Bill Wilson, President of the Center for Congregational Health at Wake Forest Baptist Health. I will post the scripture from Deuteronomy in which Moses is warning his people about getting caught up with themselves and their own worldly possessions and accomplishments. Power to make a difference comes only from God not from our own doing. “Prosperity knits a man to the world. He feels that he is finding his place in it, while really it is finding its place in him.” ― C.S. Lewis
We are lost when we lose our memory. Dr. Wilson calls us to remember 3 things: 1) where we came from, how we got to be where we are; 2) why we are here, our mission; and 3) who is in charge, whose dream are we striving for, ours or God’s. Read Deut 8:1,2,11-20. These words from Moses to his people ring true to us today, don’t they?

1Israel, do you want to go into the land the LORD promised your ancestors? Do you want to capture it, live there, and become a powerful nation? Then be sure to obey every command I am giving you.
2Don’t forget how the LORD your God has led you through the desert for the past 40 years. He wanted to find out if you were truly willing to obey him and depend on him,
11 Make sure that you never forget the LORD or disobey his laws and teachings that I am giving you today. If you always obey them, 12you will have plenty to eat, and you will build good houses to live in. 13You will get more and more cattle, sheep, silver, gold, and other possessions.
14But when all this happens, don’t be proud! Don’t forget that you were once slaves in Egypt and that it was the LORD who set you free. 15Remember how he led you in that huge and frightening desert where poisonous snakes and scorpions live. There was no water, but the LORD split open a rock, and water poured out so you could drink. 16He also gave you manna, a kind of food your ancestors had never even heard about. The LORD was testing you to make you trust him, so that later on he could be good to you.
17When you become successful, don’t say, “I’m rich, and I’ve earned it all myself.”18Instead, remember that the LORD your God gives you the strength to make a living. That’s how he keeps the promise he made to your ancestors.
19-20But I’m warning you—if you forget the LORD your God and worship other gods, the LORD will destroy you, just as he destroyed the nations you fought.

If we want to be the church that God call us to be, remember these 3 things, and come into our sanctuary with humility, praising God for all that we have and do.

1/17/2016 A New Society?

I took my little brother/mentee to the Wake BBall game today. The game was a total disaster, and I want my money back. But my friend James and I talked with my little bro about making good decisions and about the value of education. I felt somewhat hopeful hanging out with him and following God’s call to make a difference.

Afterwards I took him home and turned down 14th St towards home. A few kids on the way threw rocks and hit my car as I drove by them. I turned my car around and drove back to that spot. The kids had run away, but a young man was still walking on the sidewalk. I rolled down my window and stopped. “Do you know the kids who threw rocks at my car?” I asked. “Yeah, why?” he answered.
“Could you tell them that I don’t appreciate their hitting my car with rocks.” He responded, “Why should I do that?”
I said, “Because it’s the right thing to do.”
“Go on. Get out of here,” was his retort.

I look back at this day with mixed feelings. Is there hope for our future, when neither the children nor the adults know right from wrong? Susan thinks I was stupid to stop and put myself in danger. Part of me agrees, but who is going to step up and teach our neighbors about civility and character? I am sad to see our society out of control, but I can only do what God called me to do: Love my little brother and tell him that I care. God, you’re in charge, because this is way out of my league.

1/14/2016 Keeping the Right Motivation and Heart

Thanks to the Hunger2Health team for a good meeting last night. Let me try to summarize. Financially we are in great shape. As of today we have sufficient funds to deliver 125 backpacks through perhaps summer or fall 2017.

Let me be quick to say that, although we are appreciative and are blessed by the money the church continues to give, our focus was not on money. We reiterated the mission of H2H to connect with people in the Ashley School and neighborhood through life-changing relationships. We cited several H2H related events at church that have been successful in connecting people to our church and reaching out to our neighbors. Both the Golf Tournament and the Bazaar have been successful in connecting with the non-Ardmore community.

We also discussed events through our backpack program itself that have been marked with developing relationships with the school staff, children and neighborhood. The money we spend on weekend relief of hunger for 125 children is money well-spent. We had a lively discussion about the effectiveness of this money and how recipients are chosen. We felt that we have minimized the abuse of our backpack food items via a program that allows the teachers and admin staff to make decisions about which children and families are the most needy. We agreed that those children receiving backpacks are deserving of our charity in keeping with Biblical teachings to feed the hungry. We talked about the messaging that we need to convey to our congregation to clearly get across how this money is being spent and to relate an honest opinion as to its effectiveness.

The messaging is likely not as dynamic as it needs to be to sustain the energy and heart of this ministry. Donations in the past 3 years have slid downward partly due to natural tendencies of ministries and also due to good competition from many new church ministries and initiatives. We want to make sure that our church continues to see all ministries as an opportunity and joy to reach people for Christ. In order to carry this vision forward, we want to tell our personal stories of making a difference with teachers and how God has used the H2H ministry to spread God’s love and our witness to others. Historically, whenever we are able to tell our stories from the pulpit, people hear and respond more dynamically than when it is announced via newsletter, email, etc. We plan to offer to SS departments an opportunity to give our testimonies about H2H.

The Sisters of Faith have made their support of H2H a focus of their ministry. We need to talk about how we can make the Backpack Tree more relevant in the Christmas season regarding asking our congregation to take an ornament and be in a relationship with a child through prayer. Sisters of Faith have also supported and acknowledged teachers through birthday recognition and snacks from Ardmore Baptist Church. We must find ways in which our church body can relate to Ashley and the vicinity in personal ways to be the hands, feet and mouth of Jesus. We think that telling these stories will keep our mission in the hearts and minds of all of us.

A couple of schools have worked with the Food Bank to open Food Pantries in the school. Such a program would provide opportunities to meet and serve family members of these students at Ashley. However we will explore the available space at Ashley or at Alpha and Omega Church to serve this community and how we can be involved in its operation. Remember that Deloris Huntley was instrumental with the Family Institute, a ministry that continues via A&O members. Perhaps we can partner with that church to assist in this ministry to the neighborhood.

I feel that recruiting and training volunteers to read with K-2nd graders is a hidden blessing and joy for many of us and is a great way to be a witness to our children at Ashley. We want to share this opportunity in hope that others will be called to volunteer as tutors or mentors.

Chester

1/2/2016: Living out our mission statement: Deacon Outlook Team Recap

Yeah, that’s what I do – write. Writing may be more for me than for anyone else, but I am compelled to put down (not) on paper my thoughts and dreams. I appreciate those of you who could come tonight and who shared what’s on your heart. I believe there was affirmation that what we talked about tonight is central to our being church and welcome in most circles at Ardmore.
We did not get bogged down in specifics and details of practice. Instead we mostly shared a desire to be an intentional community of believers who are excited about connecting with our neighbors. We talked about adding to our church experience a new culture, one in which we gather to hear from one another how God is working in our lives to reach the poor and lost. We are all called to be ministers, but we do not often get a chance to hear and support one another in our ministries. There is no one way that will create such a culture, but we said that coming together for intentional “God talk” (made up word) is vital to the life of Ardmore. Several people shared ideas of venues where this would happen. One thought that has struck a chord with me is that growing, healthy churches have multiple campuses. For us that may mean that we could hold small ministry sharing sessions regularly at people’s homes and/or in various neighborhood locations.
We talked about carrying on the energy and focus of the Deacon Outlook Team, which needs to be organic in its activities each year due to the inherent charge of this team and due to the changing team members. We felt that it was important that some team who has the passion to do so take on the function of this year’s Outlook Team. This team would oversee all the operations of our church to encourage and support living out our mission statement. The emphasis and activity on our church’s mission is very much aligned with the VNT mission and our Glorious Unfolding process. This team may be a part of the Deacon body (with invited members not actively serving as deacons). This team may be an adjunct of the VNT with specific focus on this one aspect of their work. Or it could be a stand alone team, but in any case this team should explicitly communicate and coordinate their activities with all the MALT’s and the VNT.
To be honest I didn’t know what to expect tonight. I prayed that I would not interfere with what God has planned for Ardmore. I believe I heard enough passion in the room to feel pretty good about where Ardmore is going. I believe God asked us to start this conversation. It’s only a start…..

Glorious Unfolding
Lay your head down tonight
Take a rest from the fight
Don’t try to figure it out
Just listen to what I’m whispering to your heart
‘Cause I know this is not
Anything like you thought
The story of your life was gonna be
And it feels like the end has started closing in on you
But it’s just not true
There’s so much of the story that’s still yet to unfold
And this is going to be a glorious unfolding
Just you wait and see and you will be amazed
You’ve just got to believe the story is so far from over
So hold on to every promise God has made to us
And watch this glorious unfolding
God’s plan from the start
For this world and your heart
Has been to show His glory and His grace
Forever revealing the depth and the beauty of
His unfailing Love

Chester

12/6/2015 “Surely”

I just came home from listening to my 7th or 8th Messiah performance by the Mozart Club. We have made it a family tradition. It seems that every year I am moved to a new depth of love and awe, where the music, the words, the Holy Spirit, the musicians and the listener all intersect to shout, “Hallelujah” to the ends of the earth. I am foremost awed by how George Frideric Handel wrote this most magnificent oratorio in 24 days in 1741. Certainly the hand of God was on him.

For some reason this year I was moved emotionally to tears throughout this performance. Yes the soloists were marvelous, and the performance was quite stirring. But there was something else happening today. I needed the “Messiah” today. The beauty and power of this music is especially evident in the entirety of Handel’s work. Listening to the overture in the beginning elicits such an anticipation of love becoming flesh into my personal life. The prophecy is clearly laid forth for all to hear. “The people that walked in darkness have seen a great light.” The glory of the Lord will be revealed. A child is born unto us, and the dominion of God will be upon his shoulder.

I needed to know today that everything will be OK. The world has been more crazy this year, perhaps no more than other years, but this year I have felt consumed and afraid. We spend a lot of time talking about how bad things are and how social media has brought it all right into our personal space. Sometimes I think things are out of control. I am overwhelmed by the suffering and pain around me. Then I hear the words, “His yoke is easy, and His burden is light.” I am called to lay it all onto Jesus’ lap, and He will give me rest.

We have all experienced the awful terror attacks lately that seem to be almost a regular occurrence in the past few months. I wish God could wipe out evil. It is a scourge on us all. Then I hear the words, “Surely He has borne our griefs” and “With His stripes we are healed.” God has taken away our sorrow and rescued our souls. Especially this year I am grieving with so many people whose loved ones have died. I am burdened by their loss and loneliness. The Messiah provides the real answer to how we can celebrate with joy amidst the pain and grief.

The bass sang, “The trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed.” God has promised us a gift for all of creation. We shall be changed. As these words were being sung, I knew that God had already changed me. He has not only taken away the sting of death, but given me a reason to live. He has given us a victory in Jesus Christ. God is worthy of our blessing and honor. “Blessing and honour, glory and power, be unto Him that sitteth upon the throne, and unto the Lamb, for ever and ever.
Amen.”

Now that is why I go to see “Messiah” every year. I need this performance. I need to hear these words. I need to glorify God with all of creation.

Chester David

11/30/2015: Praying for Reconciliation and Transformation

We are reading a book, When Helping Hurts, in our Missions Engagement Team. Let me quote something that deals with alleviating poverty. “Poverty alleviation is the ministry of reconciliation: moving people closer to glorifying God by living the right relationship with God, with self, with others, and with the rest of creation.,,,,we do not have the power to alleviate poverty in either the materially poor or in ourselves. It is not something we can manufacture through better techniques or planning. Reconciliation is ultimately an act of God. It occurs when the power of Christ’s resurrection reconciles our key relationships through the transformation of both individual lives and local, national and international systems.”

11/3/2015 Living out our Mission Statement

The Deacon Outlook team was re-formed in Jan 2014 to discern a sense of how we might interject one or more specific steps to further enhance the work of the church. Under the leadership of Lou Baldwin we shared several topics of individual interests and needs. After much prayer we were led to consider the question, “What can Ardmore do more effectively to live out the mission statement of our church?” It had become evident to us that other leaders were looking at the same issue. God is moving and working in our church with a unity of spirit and clarity. The Outlook Team has focused on stimulating discussion and action toward our looking outward to our community and neighbors and in strengthening our personal commitment to be available to God’s work in and through us to reach people through long-term, life-changing relationships.

Recognizing that God is our architect and guide, we are called to come together again to continue the discussion. VNT has spear-headed our reflection to seek God’s nudging and call. The Outlook Team believes that focus on our mission statement is central to all activities and directions that Ardmore carries forth. The unfolding of God’s plan for Ardmore starts with introspection and moves towards an outward expression. The question on the table today is, “What would Ardmore look like, if we were to digest and focus on reaching people inside and outside our church for Jesus Christ through life-changing relationships?” We want to make this mission part of our DNA.

We pray that God will speak to us and through us as we live out our lives in the neighborhoods, shopping centers, schools, at worship services and in small groups gathered to serve our community. There are limitless doors for us to walk through, and God will guide us through them as he wishes. The real changes are found in the passion with which we seek his voice, the commitment to share our faith stories with all whom we meet and the courage to move out from our walls to be in relationships with those who need to hear the Gospel. Some ideas have emerged in our team discussions:

1. We talked about being aware of working organizations and committees in our church in order to urge them to focus on our mission. We can make a difference by gently asking how is this mission being carried out in the work of that group.

2. We discussed keeping in front of the congregation a list of mission opportunities and a list of specific steps individuals might take to live out our mission statement. This initiative would involve continuing testimonies as needed, skits in worship, sermons and possibly further Bible Study lessons from time to time.

3. We want to throw our support at Helen Baker and others who are called to teach “Sharing Jesus Without Fear,” a 4-week evangelism module. It is apparent that we would like to encourage many members to rethink their opportunities and roadblocks to sharing Jesus with our world. In today’s Post-Modern world we have a unique story to share truth and stand alone for justice and salvation. How do we present a revitalized discussion about “evangelism” to our congregation?

4. It may be helpful for Ardmore to continue conversations with one another specifically aimed at our sharing how God is moving in our lives. Somehow we need a forum where we can come to hear about what the ladies in Sisters of Faith are doing and how God is changing the lives of people in this community through their witness and service. We want to hear from many of us in order to praise God for his divine interventions and to seek ways to support one another in our carrying out our mission. These continuing forums may well be focused around a book discussion (e.g., When Helping Hurts, etc.) We may consider having a monthly Saturday breakfast at the church for this purpose. Perhaps we can create a social media forum to share these stories as well. Let’s make living out our mission an exciting and inviting thing for everyone. How do we create a culture and atmosphere of sharing our stories with one another?

5. We talked about partnering with other churches and collaborative organizations, specifically New Caanan Society and Love Out Loud, for example. These partnerships would enrich our connections and opportunities across the city as well as expand God’s reach in releasing unprecedented love throughout Winston-Salem. It is awesome to see where God is already working, and we could be a greater part of God’s plan for this community.

6. Re-visit how Sunday School classes can once again be the outreach arm of our church. Small groups can be accountable to new members and prospects. Consider a class for new Christians.

7. Follow up “Ardmore at Home” with intentional reports and testimonies. Consider other like-events throughout the year.

8. Focus on the intentional daily prayer, “Lord, give me an opportunity to tell people your message today.” Think of what God would do at Ardmore if 20% or more of our members prayed this prayer daily?

9. Who is responsible to intentionally focus on carrying out this mission? Of course each member must commit to doing so in his own path and calling. Each leadership team or committee is responsible to do so. And we all know the church staff is being paid to do so. Do we need a transitional team of lay members who are passionate about keeping their finger on the pulse of carrying out our mission and whose primary task is to keep our mission statement on a front burner? How is this different from what the VNT is doing?

Chester

10/23/2015 Changing a Child’s Life: an Echo
I just read Mike Nickolls’ article/blog in the Ardmore emails. He said, “that one-on-one tutoring is one of the best ways to grow a child’s mind. Even more so is the importance for a child to have someone commit to them with a Christ-like mindset that will listen to what happened at home last night, encourage them to dream, and give them a caring adult that neuroscience has proven is vital to proper brain development. I encourage you to read this blog. – See more at: http://ardmorebaptist.org/newsletter/fully-engaged-247-5#sthash.0xx4r7FC.dpuf

It reminds me how God has blessed me once again this week by putting me in a situation totally out of my comfort level. You know about my mentee, who just changed schools and is now in the 6th grade at Hanes Middle School. Well this week I had to have a conversation with him about something. I am amazed that there are no other father figures to do this in his life. I am wowed by the act of God that he loves this 12-y.o.boy enough to put us together, and by God’s trusting me to do this. No, I would have never thought I could be a mentor for a kid from the “hood,” but God needs men to be called to make a difference, because things aren’t going very well in our city right now.

Ashley School contacted me yesterday to tell me that they paired me up with two 1st grade non-readers to read with them every Wednesday for an hour. Who me? I’ve never done anything like this before. I’m a little nervous. But you know what? That is the mission field. That’s being on mission for Christ. He will provide me with everything I need to do the right thing. And I plan to go a little early to let Ms. Turney walked me through this a little bit.

I would be thrilled if you called me to ask me questions or to tell me that you want to help these children with their reading. That is what Hunger 2 Health is all about: impacting children in need one child at a time through life-changing relationships.

Chester David
918-0488

10/20/2015: Reassessing our Mission

I have followed our backpack program this year, and we can be proud of our service to the Ashley School and the children who receive these backpacks. We held a volunteer appreciation luncheon in May. As our volunteers delivered the final day’s backpacks of the school year, they were greeted with a table full of cards and posters thanking us for our generosity and love.

I am also proud that we have a number of volunteers who either tutor or mentor a child at Ashley. These relationships indeed often become the means to impact children in a life changing way and to be witnesses for Christ. I wish we had 100 more tutors and mentors. I believe this community needs people to step up and find ways to make a difference with our children and the neighborhood/community.

The questions I want to ask you are these
:
Is Ardmore Baptist doing everything we can do (or should do) to impact the neighborhood to which we were called to respond to a crisis in 2011/12?

Are we fulfilling the mission that we as an H2H team endorsed and the mission of our church to connect people of all ages with Jesus Christ through life-changing relationships?

Given a likely answer that we may want to do more, where do you discern us going in the next year or two?

Do we ever stop or reduce providing backpacks? If so, where can we get involved to improve the community efforts to reduce hunger and increase self-sufficiency?

Reread our mission statement and our call to respond to a community in crisis. You can find these statements and stories on our webpage atwww.hunger2health.org. I would like us to consider options and goals for H2H and Ardmore that would take the next step towards healing and reconciliation. We have talked about our music ministry partnering with Ashley in some ways. I have advocated for more presence in existing partnerships such as Love Out Loud, Forsyth Promise, Community Serve, etc. How can we make a larger impact on calling people at Ardmore and our sister churches to become tutors and mentors, not only at Ashley but perhaps in other schools as well. I don’t think the crisis in our community has been resolved. On the other hand in some ways, it is worse, despite 62 food pantries and 31 backpack programs, kids cafes and school pantry programs in Forsyth County.

Tell me what you think. Let’s talk. I’d like to get together in the next couple of months as a team to address these questions and our direction. Who else needs to be in on this conversation?

10/14/2015: Getting One’s Attention

I listened to a speaker at our community meeting of Experiment in Self-Reliance today. Mr. Ross’ story was compelling and powerful. Even though ESR’s ongoing success over the years is borne out in the annual report statistics, Mr. Ross’ story grabbed us. You said, “Numbers don’t get our attention, but people jump off the page. Tell your story!” Those of us who have worked in Human Services continue to be motivated by people’s stories, the relationships that make a difference in someone’s life. Systems don’t change people. Relationships do.

9/19/2015: Where the Cross Meets the Street

I’m reading a new book by Noel Castellanos entitled, Where the Cross Meets the Street. Mr. C began working with CCDA (Christian Community Development Association) and its founder John Perkins. I’ve read several books about holistic community ministry including Toxic Charity, arguably the most popular one around. As I read his story, I am beginning to identify with the compassion, frustrations and conclusions that Castellanos relates in his formulating an effective ministry.

He writes that he was beginning to see incarnation as the linchpin and foundation of all effective ministry – by entering people’s lives through proximity, relationship, solidarity and humility, he would be following the example of Jesus himself. It is through dynamic and deepening relationships that we earn the right to speak into people’s lives, to share our stories in ways that touch people’s hearts and souls, and through these relationships we are transformed.

As Castellanos studied Jesus’ words and his life focused on touching the poor and vulnerable, he became more convinced that his response to individuals in need revealed more about his understanding of God’s love and compassion than any degree or lofty ministry plan that he might have. He concludes that churches and charitable organizations, though well-intentioned, have missed the mark when it comes to serving the poor. A better system would be to treat them as business partners, empowering them to take control of their own lives with the support of compassionate, caring believers. When entering an under-resourced community as an outsider, compassion without incarnation could be devastating. CCDA was teaching him to focus on empowerment instead of creating dependency. He understood the mission of his ministry along with CCDA was to raise up leaders from the community. Compassion would not be the end goal but the gateway to individual and community development.

What do these words mean to me? Have I settled for serving our community from a distance? It is certainly something for me to pray about. I want to be the hands and feet of Jesus, as I move forward in responding to God’s call and mission.

5/8/2015: Why I do what I do

The past couple of days have both challenged and confirmed who I am as a disciple in Christ and a privileged person in this world. Since I retired almost 2 years ago, I have been on a journey to rediscover my role on this stage of life. I no longer have an office with a staff of coworkers and a line of clients at my door. I can sleep late, do yard work, linger and lunch with my wife, attend a meeting, and nobody would say too much about my choice of activities. My accountability is only to myself, and for the most part, to my family.
I chose to retire, because I felt that God was not finished with me. I wanted to shed the shackles of routine and bureaucracy in order to learn to depend on God to guide my life. I don’t play golf or fish, so my daily calendar is usually a blank page. I decided to place my trust in God that he would show me where I should spend my time and fill my schedule as he pleased. My responsibility was to pray, listen and see where God was at work around me, and go join what he is already doing.
The temptation I had was to fill my time with projects and meetings. My 40 years as a rehabilitation counselor taught me well how to network, problem solve and apply resources to any situation. God answered my prayers right away, even before I retired, as he opened my eyes to an underprivileged and hungry world just across the highway in a marginalized area of our city. A new ministry was created within my heart and my church, a ministry to feed hungry children at an elementary school, a ministry to connect with children, families and teachers to offer love and assistance to improve reading that would open doors of opportunity. This ministry took root as God opened a door for me to be in a relationship with a 12-year old student. I am awed by how God has anointed me to be his hands and feet to this quite strange and wonderful young man. I pray that somehow God, who already loves this young man as his own creation, will guide us on this journey. After all, God wants each of us to love him and live abundantly. This unlikely match was made in Heaven, so I feel very privileged to be a part of God’s plan for my little brother.
God’s gift to me and my family this past year was awesome. By only God’s mysterious plans and doings he gave us a gift that we never thought we deserved or needed. A new exchange student, Ankia. entered our lives and family. The blessings of sharing our lives with a teenager have manifested themselves in the love in becoming family. My family has adopted Ankia as our own, and God has done marvelous things in this relationship. I am amazed that God knew our situation and our hearts, and he loved us so intimately that he found a way to intersect our lives for a time. It is within this family context that God can do great things. His best work is silent and deep.
Susan and I walked into a room at the Neonatal Unit in Children’s Hospital the other day, where we encountered a mother holding her 5-month old son, lying across her breast and shoulder. She sat in silence gently rocking her son as he slept. We introduced ourselves and commented about how wonderful it must be to hold her baby so closely. Today must be a good day. The mother did not look up or respond. She was immersed in the moment of intimacy. We asked again whether today was a good day. She continued rocking, and then we noticed a tear streaming down her face. You see, her baby had not been responsive since birth. The doctors question how much brain activity there will ever be. I will never know what was going on in this mother’s head, but I do know all she knew to do was to keeping rocking and holding her baby. We stood there with her for a couple of minutes, projecting how this mother must feel about her baby who will never grow up to fulfill her hopes and dreams. We stood in silence. Then Susan put her hand on the mother’s shoulder and reassured her that she was doing her best to do the only thing she knew to do, to love and hold her baby.
As we left I paused for a few moments to pray and reflect on what just happened. We were in a tough place. There were no words, no answers, no medical cure. We could not offer any hope for this mother. We had no consoling words. I thanked God for this moment, a moment that only God gives us to be present in his midst, to stand in his love and to reach out in his name. We are privileged to be his children and to be present in a world that needs Jesus Christ.

Chester

02/28/2015: A Stark Encounter Revisited

Out of his great love for us God has revealed a great truth. I was unaware of God’s intention and blessing at the time. But he came to me by surprise about 15 years ago, a day that still today compels me to consider its meaning and impact. I call it a vision, one that is clearly the God-breathed imagery of his power and dominion. I have not yet fully understood why God came in such a dramatic and poignant way. I have been reticent to share this experience with many friends for fear of being misunderstood and marginalized. I’m not sure that I ever believed in an embodied evil or Satan at the time of this vision, but I do now. This is my story:

A Stark Encounter

I saw his face. His body was a form unlike anything I had ever seen. It surrounded me with a curious and dazzling display of light and shapes that seemed unreal. I might have thought that I was dreaming, but his eyes penetrated mine with a grotesque evil. I knew he was real.

Saturday was an ordinary day. Susan and I had gotten up with excitement. After a brief visit at breakfast with my mother, we spent the day getting ready for our new house guest. I had accomplished my usual yeoman’s share of chores on this day. I fell into bed at 11 p.m. ready for a good night’s sleep.

No sooner than I closed my eyes, he appeared without warning. He invaded my serenity with an offensive confrontation of power and form. “What in the world are you?” I thought. At first I watched him with curiosity. He filled my vision with color and dazzle. Alternate planes of energy and light darted back and forth. A fascinating pattern of geometric shapes danced within an entity who appeared much like a joker or a court jester. A crowd followed him through the city streets. I jostled to get a closer look. I had trouble seeing his face clearly. It too possessed these same magical qualities, but he never looked at me directly. I felt his alluring countenance that beckoned me to join him. He was both dazzling and sinister. I struggled to move away.

I blinked to blot out this unwelcome picture. A second presence replaced the first with clarity and fright. An amorphous mass of matter entered my space inching its way towards me and destroying all life in its path. As I looked out my bedroom window, I could see this slimy mass grow and consume my view. This blob had no form or dimension, but it seemed to have endless reach. Its presence and movement was unstoppable. As it approached, I saw tiny moving particles that appeared to be micro-organisms. The entire mass swarmed with repulsive activity. I knew that touching it would mean death. I felt the organisms wanting to invade my body. I wanted to run to get away, but there was nowhere to run.

I blinked a second time. A hideous beast stood before me. Its body was much like a woolly mammoth, and his face was grotesque. This picture was more frightening than any image I had ever seen before in any movie. I sensed a massiveness about this creature, whose form I could not entirely comprehend. It sat in the entranceway, as I needed to go past to join the party in the back of the house. I heard the laughter and chatting of the people at the party, but I had to pass through the narrow hall past this monster. I carefully squeezed by trying not to touch him or catch his eye. Its hide was thick and tough. I trembled with fear as I felt the fur of this creature from close range, feeling its warm breath brush across my face and standing my hair on end.

Up until now I had witnessed these images both with curiosity and disbelief. I still had no idea who they were and why they had appeared at this time and place. Up until now I had managed to be in control of myself with the idea that I had created these thoughts with an overactive imagination. Always before when I had a bad dream, I could wake myself up and focus my thoughts on good things.

At that moment in the face of this hideous monster, I saw his eyes staring at me. I was paralyzed. His eyes were yellowish-green with small slits revealing the depth of a most evil being. His eyes followed me and penetrated my soul. I was unable to blink my way out of this one. His sinister eyes claimed me. I knew the creature was not a dream; his evil will was real.

“God, where are you?” I called out. “What’s happening to me?” I cried out for help in the face of my helplessness and terror. I looked to my Father to do again what he had done so many times before. God had always been able to calm my fears and give me peace of mind. I fully trusted him to help me now.

No sooner than I spoke God’s name, a brilliant light came upon me and filled my sight. Its intensity quickly grew and drowned out the creatures. His light overwhelmed the darkness. In his light I could no longer see any images nor sense their presence. In God’s light I closed my eyes and went to sleep.

On Sunday I awoke with a not too distant memory of my disturbing encounters and God’s provision. I still wondered from where these images originated. It surely felt like I had seen Satan himself. If so, why would he come to me with such voracity? Frankly I’m not sure I even believed that Satan was a real being. Perhaps God was preparing me for something only he knows. These questions lingered as we drove off to church. I looked to God to reveal his purposes to me.

It was Communion Sunday. I was likely too confused and preoccupied to feel God’s spiritual presence. I held the cracker in my hand with little expectation. “This is my body. Take and eat. Do this in remembrance of me.” Familiar words set before a routine act of love. I put the bread in my mouth and closed my eyes.

All three images stormed back into my thought, but this time they were different. The pictures I saw on this day were of these creatures in a catastrophic struggle to survive. They appeared for a split second and crumbled. They were being swallowed up by a lake of fire. In an instant they were gone. Once again God had shown me that his power is supreme. For someone who primarily saw Satan as an extension of our human condition and who rarely attributed bad things to a powerful struggle in this world, I am rethinking my position. On the other side of this vision I thank God that I have seen the Enemy, and he has been defeated. ……End

The heavens will disappear with a roar; the elements will be destroyed by fire, and the earth and everything done in it will be laid bare. That day will bring about the destruction of the heavens by fire, and the elements will melt in the heat. (2 Peter 3:10,12) Reading these verses today reveal how much God wants us to be saved and has worked out our salvation. It is clear that God destroys evil and brings light at our very calling on his name. These are indeed words that we as Christians today need to hear over and over again. It is true for each of us personally as well as for our world in which we find overwhelming evil. We often call out, “God, where are you? How can you let this happen?” We can fully trust and thank God for having already defeated the Evil One and for flooding us with his light and abundance. It’s as simple as a blink of one’s eye and the name of Jesus.

Chester David

02/09/2015: Purposeful Reading

I visited a bookstore the other day, Edward McKay, a NC used bookstore. It’s been a while since I’ve been to a bookstore. I’ve found all the books I need on Amazon. I find it quite convenient to sit at my computer and browse through their categories. I can read a synopsis and the customer reviews to get enough information to decide what I want to read.

I don’t read a lot of books. I have never been an avid reader, since I read fairly slowly. My mom and dad took me to a reading clinic when I was a preteen. I remember the staff trying to teach me to read faster. I would mumble words to myself and skip back to a previous group of words, all very classic learning disability traits. Of course in the late fifties there was no such thing as a learning disorder. So I just became more stressed out about reading. I hated that machine that scrolled down the page, only revealing the line that I should be reading. I thought it was somewhat sadistic to speed up that cursor arm. I was spitting out words faster and faster, not understanding a thing on the page.

I’m a member of a men’s book club. None of us reads very much. I imagine we’re a lot different from a women’s book club. (My wife Susan is a member of three.) We spend several months reading and discussing our current book, that is, if we actually get to the book during our breakfasts. Perhaps we should not call ourselves a book club. The book part is just an excuse to fellowship and talk about matters that are common and important to us.

I felt somewhat out of place at Edward McKay. There were aisles and aisles of books on every topic. As a “bad reader” I didn’t know how to act. Should I pick up a book or two that looked interesting and browse though it? How would I know if this was a book I would like to read? What if I bought a book and brought it home? It would sit in a pile of other books for a while perhaps until I lost interest. We don’t have any more room on our bookshelves. I underline sentences in books that I want to re-read, so I never can sell my books back to anyone. As I walked through the aisles, I felt a little overwhelmed. I wished that I could read all of them. There was a world of knowledge and many stories in those books that I was not privy to. I wanted to be inspired by the biographies of famous and successful people. I wanted to experience other cultures of the world that I would never see firsthand. I wanted to learn about our history and heritage that impact who we are as a people. I suddenly felt rather small.

I stopped in an aisle for a moment and tried to absorb all the stories and knowledge around me. Ha, I felt really silly standing there and waiting for the pages to come to me. But then I wondered whether we often do that in our spiritual journey as well. Doing church, as busy as I am with activities, does not help me really know God. I realized that I would have to make a commitment to choose a book and read it, one at a time, in order to derive any benefit. It may not be easy or fast, but if I never got started, I would never receive the benefit. It really doesn’t matter that I only read a couple of books a year. It’s the commitment to choose one at a time, relying on God to use me and this book to serve him as he directs.

God has opened the pages to me of a young 12-year old boy named Jaheim. I am entering into a life that is different from mine. I’ve heard that sometimes a book chooses the reader. This relationship with Jaheim started by my attending a meeting for interested mentors last year. I was just browsing, not intending to take anything home. Jaheim picked me. This journey has been one of the most fulfilling ones that I could have imagined for myself. Recently Jaheim was surprised to find out that I was not some random adult paid by the school to provide guidance to little boys without fathers. He thought that we would cease to see each other after he finishes this year and moves on to another school. Our one hour a week time together is by divine appointment. Our time together is both life-changing and eternal. Jaheim and I are moving from misunderstanding to clarity, from formality to God-breathed and from friendliness to richness.

I am reminded that even though I’m not an avid reader, and I can’t read all the books on the shelves, God has chosen to open doors to enrich my life. I’m not reading very fast, but this one is hard to put down.

Chester

12/14/2014: Light in a Dark World

Our pastor Don Gordon hit the nail on the head this morning in his sermon about being light in a dark world. Why bring the ugly, unwanted part of the birth of Jesus story into our preparation for this joyous season? We know that Herod did slaughter the male infants under 2-y.o. in Bethlehem. But come on, Don! First time I’ve heard a sermon like that 10 days before Christmas.

Well, not long ago I stood over a one-month old preemie infant who was dying, and I screamed out at God in anger that this didn’t make sense. Earlier this week we learned of yet other stories about innocent children being beheaded by ISIS, and we are outraged at the upside world we live in. I often come back from the Ashley area where we mentor children with a sickened, hopeless feeling about their chances of escaping this cycle of poverty and violence.

So where is the Christmas story in these life experiences? I would think that the parents of the dying infant hung on to the hope of Christ Jesus as Savior, who came to walk with us with full understanding and compassion of our suffering and pain. It is absolutely in the very dregs of life where we find infant Jesus, willing to suffer the worst of what the world can dish out to show us the extend of his love for us. I’ve been down in the trenches, and so have you. I’ve shaken my fist at God and cursed him. Yet he only reaches out to embrace me time and time again. I can only get down on my knees and worship him, especially this Christmas. Thanks, Don, for telling the truth about the Christmas story.

11/24/2014: Thanksgiving Prayers

I am thinking about this incredible gift of serving on the Table team at Christmas for the City during a time when we are focusing on a lot of incredible gifts from God at Thanksgiving. The various parts of me are thankful for different things. The utility part, that is to say the part that was fed for over 40 years of professional bureaucracy, is thankful for a pretty great product that we are putting together. The lazy part is thankful that there are just enough of us to make this happen and still find time to enjoy retirement and my family. My social part loves having an extended family with whom I can share part of my life as we work and pray together.

Then there is the other part. I’m not so sure what to call it or how to put it into words. Perhaps a picture is sufficient (see below). It has something to do with what lies underneath all of this. The expectancy of something greater than myself. The thirst for something deeper than our activities. The vision of a collective people that reaches out to touch other people and even God. I love telling the story, but more than that, I love having a story to tell.

Our efforts to glorify God will certainly bring a smile to his face, for the results are his. I am thankful for the love that we share, a love that gives everlasting life. The living water.
“…but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” John 4:14

Chester

10/25/2014: The church has often found itself standing as the tail light, when God calls us to be the head light leading men to higher levels of justice. MLK

“There is power in prayer. When men work, they work. but when men pray, God works.”
― Angus Buchan, Faith Like Potatoes: The Story of a Farmer Who Risked Everything for God

8/29/2014: 21st Century Grant Learning Centers

I met this afternoon to discuss the implementation of the grant money under the 21st Century Grant for Ashley School. Our vision includes Ibraham and Old Town Elem Schools down the road, but I am focused on assisting the community supports, parental involvement and enrichment outcomes for Ashley. There are a couple of known factors at this point, and the school is meeting over the next couple of weeks to iron out details in how to use the $400,000 over the next 3 years.

The program provides before and after-school, weekend, and summer school academic enrichment opportunities for children attending low-performing schools to help them meet local and state academic standards in subjects such as reading, mathematics, and science. 21st CCLC programs in North Carolina may choose to also offer services during the school day. In addition, programs may provide activities for youth development, drug and violence prevention, art, music, technology, character education, counseling, and recreation to enhance the program’s academic components. The program also supports a component for family literacy and community outreach.

We know that Alpha and Omega Church has been designated as one of the centers for an after-school program. I think there is room for other centers given the surrounding churches, recreation center and existing facilities. We also know that the Saturday Academy in partnership with WFU will be expanded. Activities will include tutoring, mentoring, academic support programming and enrichment activities, positive youth development activities, drug and violence prevention education programs, counseling programs, art, music, recreation programs, technology education programs and character education programs that are designed to reinforce and complement the regular academic program of participating students.

My interests are specifically in 1) expanding the number of reading tutors, 2) finding men to mentor young boys and at-risk youth, 3) offering family enrichment opportunities on a quarterly basis via the talents and expertise of community members, and 4) developing a network of drum circles to engage children in positive character building, role modeling and achievement in life-changing group experiences. Our community has an unprecedented opportunity to make a difference in our children and our future. Please pray about your role in making this happen.

Peace and Blessings,

Chester

8/26/2014: “SPEAK UP”
From: Wisdom Hunters Devotional

Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy. Proverbs 31:8-9

Some people cannot speak up for themselves. The widow and orphan who are in distress desperately need compassionate and competent advocates. Children trapped in human trafficking need to be rescued by the righteous. The unborn’s muted cry cries for a merciful voice. A foster child who is emotionally ravished prays for a family to speak up and invite him into their home. The poor and needy need legal, economic and spiritual advocacy to advance them forward. All around us, groups and individuals are stuck for lack of one person who will boldly speak up.

We who are saved are called by our Savior to say something–to do something. If we won’t, who will? How can we remain unmoved while one child remains exploited, one family famished for lack of food, one orphan homeless, or one widow in need of a warm house? We have an obligation, a duty to speak up for those whose rights have been trampled, even dismissed. Social systems are limited and have little spiritual discernment or assets. But those of us, who have been rescued by the grace and love of our Lord God are rich in His resources. We must speak up!

“Jonathan spoke well of David to Saul his father and said to him, ‘Let not the king do wrong to his servant David; he has not wronged you, and what he has done has benefited you greatly’” (1 Samuel 19:4).

Almost every day we have opportunities to leave someone exposed to criticism or speak up on their behalf. Who can we defend at work? An associate who may have lost favor with a peer or supervisor? When a friend or family member is spoken ill of, we can point out their good traits and give them the benefit of the doubt. Silence is not an option for a courageous and caring heart. Yes, love has the back of those who don’t know what they don’t know. Love can’t keep quiet!

Above all, where do we need to speak up for our Savior’s sake? He does not need defending, but we need to be clear where we stand with Christ. We speak up for what breaks His heart. We are on a justice mission to fight injustices. We serve sinners for whose sins Jesus died.

We speak up for the lost in prayer, so they might come to celebrate in song the saving grace of God. Jesus speaks up today and says, “I forgive you,” so we speak up and say, “I forgive you.” He says, “I love you,” so we say, “I love you.” What our Master says to say and do, we say and do!

“Remember that I stood before you and spoke in their behalf to turn your wrath away from them” (Jeremiah 18:20).

Prayer: Heavenly Father, break my heart for what breaks Yours. Give me courage to speak up.

http://www.wisdomhunters.com/invite-your-friends/

Yes, we certainly need to speak up for those who are powerless, but I am called to help those to find a voice. Through life-changing relationships, we can help the powerless to see a glimpse of what God already sees, to embrace new possibilities and to know how much God loves them.

Chester

7/23/2014: Messy Christianity

Excerpts from the book, Messy Spirituality, by Yaconelli:
“An older man with cerebral palsy sat in a motorized wheelchair, watching everyone else party. U was seated next to him, when suddenly the wheelchair lunged into the celebration. The man’s arms waved, his chair careened around the room with a jerky, captivating motion, his mouth struggled open and shut making incomprehensible sounds. Somehow a man who couldn’t dance had become part of the graceful dancing of the crowd. This man with a crippled body found a way to dance the undanceable.
“I envy him. I want my crippled soul to… lurch forward to Jesus, where the unwelcome receive welcome and the unqualified get qualified. I want to hear Jesus tell me I can dance when everyone else says I can’t. I want to hear Jesus walk over and whisper to this disabled, messy Christian, “Do you want to dance?”

7/20/2014: Drums Aren’t Just for Music: They’re Therapy, Too

A growing body of research shows that drumming has a positive effect on Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, depression, PTSD, and more. Fun is learning something and doing it well in your own mind,

Though the field is small, the research behind drumming as an effective treatment for various symptoms is mounting. “Drumming increases T-cell count,” Robert Lawrence Friedman, a psychotherapist based in New York, told The Daily Beast from Switzerland, where he’s leading a drum-based youth leadership workshop. Friedman authored The Healing Power of the Drum, a 2000 book that was the first to explore the relationship between wellness and drumming.

“When people drum, something happens to their brain that only happens when people are drumming together or when people are in deep meditation,” he explained. “The brain usually operates with either the left or right side independently. People generally cycle in 20 minutes per side. But when drumming, we experience something called hemispheric synchronization, where both sides work at the same time. Scientists believe this is the basis of transcendent states of consciousness. People feel two opposite emotions simultaneously: energized and relaxed.”

A 2001 study showed that there was a significant boost in the activity of “cellular immune components responsible for seeking out and destroying cancer cells and viruses were noted in normal subjects who drummed.” In short, drumming can increase the presence of T-cells, the white blood cell that fights viruses.

Remo, the largest manufacturer of drumheads in the world, has a health-science department that corroborates the benefits of drumming outside of music: better of quality of life for at-risk youth, increased bonding and creativity in seniors, improved mood and reduced dropout rates in students, and stress reversal on the genomic level (yes, it appears that drumming can lead to better genes). That 2005 study was also co-authored by Bittman (independently of Remo), showing that recreational music making, particularly drumming, can reverse 19 genetic responses to stress.

Friedman expanded the case for drumming as therapy even further: “I’ve explored how drumming can be used with Alzheimer’s patients and autistic children, giving them an external stimuli. It helps with attention and focus. We’ve also explored therapy with Parkinson’s patients. When a patient listens to the beat, they are able to walk, helping them on a fundamental level.”

Above all, though, the benefits of drumming seem to mostly be psychological and emotional. One study showed that “a reduction in PTSD symptoms was observed following drumming, especially increased sense of openness, togetherness, belonging, sharing, closeness, connectedness and intimacy, as well as achieving a non-intimidating access to traumatic memories, facilitating an outlet for rage and regaining a sense of self-control.”

Chester

7/18/2014: Let Me Be Your Tool Chester David

Lord, let me be your tool to work your miracles and to do your will on this earth. Let me be your plow, preparing unturned fields for your harvest. Turn this hard, barren ground, full of weeds and rocks, into a rich and fertile soil. Let me work your fields, planting your seed of life and tending your crop. Let me be your carpenter to build a house worthy of your presence. Help me to build a firm and solid foundation to to stand in all seasons through drought or rain. Protect it from the heavy snow which falls lightly upon my roof in a silent beauty. Insulate my walls from the cold, put warmth and love therein. Let my house be beautiful to those who pass by, so that they too will want to enter and be comforted.

Let me be your hands, Lord, for I long to work at your potter’s wheel. I long to build and mold my urn in your image. I long to fill my cup with your water. Guide my hands, Lord, to work for you, to gently touch and shape your clay. My hands are your hands, clasped together as one – to plow, to build, to mold. We join hands in a circle around you, Lord, and lift them up in your name.

7/15/2014: Partnership with the Healing Force

I wanted to update you on my new pet project, since I will eventually and likely need help in writing for grants. I am truly excited about what God is doing. You know that I have been networking to test the waters for the concept of developing several drum circles within a network of drum circles for the benefit of building character, identifying with a positive group, improving academics and instilling hope among our young people in under-resourced areas of Winston-Salem. . There is a plethora of research and case studies one can find regarding multiple benefits of drum circles. I have done the prep work, and I can write (or cite) a book as to the individual goals and community benefits through such a program. I have been meeting people and sharing my vision. Even though everyone has been very positive about this idea, and several have said that they are interested in having a drum circle (churches, rec centers,after-school programs, etc.), I have not been able to connect the dots to know just how one gets started, since I personally am not an African drumming expert. Although I have started drum lessons, I don’t see myself necessarily as the all-important figure to lead primarily Black youth in such a “club.” They need a strong, visionary role model with whom they can identify. You see, drum circles build community, empower kids to have a voice while identifying with and learning to be in a group and teach Godly values that will hopefully serve as a deterrent to gangs later on. These kids deserve a role model who can walk with them through life. So I’ve been talking this up and waiting for God to send the right person(s) to take this to the next step. For me this is a Christian ministry, so it is imperative that we focus on someone who shares similar passion for sharing Christ with others. However, I would like to connect all drum circles for children, regardless of the Christian component, in that African drumming is very much a spiritual experience. There is room for various kinds of circles (clubs), as long as they are focused on positive peer relationships and character-building. I recently met Joseph and Gail Anderson, founders of the Healing Force. I believe they are indeed integral in moving forward with this ministry. David Fitzgerald and I will attend some of their workshops this month, and if they do what they say they do, I will move mountains to engage them in this endeavor. They have expressed significant interest in reaching W-S children using their family ministry to partner with us. They are professional African drummers and dancers. We will need to look at asking for a grant to fund their time to do performances and workshops in various venues, to train others to lead drum circles and to equip these groups with African drumming instruments (djembes, dununs, shakers, bells, etc.) I want to partner with Arts Based School, who has an on-going African drumming and dance program as well as cultural education. Ashley Elementary has already asked to have a classroom of djembes for their music program. Northwest Child Development Centers are thinking about an after-school program for their 2nd and 3rd graders. Other schools and church also have African drum circles, so we need to contact them to assess how we can build this community together. Chester

6/24/2014: African Drum Circle Ministry

I’m excited about exploring the idea and the means to get a drum circle started with kids either through Ashley school or through neighboring churches. I will make appropriate contacts with the Ashley School music director, principal, Alpha and Omega Church, and other interested parties.

My idea came from my relationship with my 11-y.o. mentee, who is inappropriately seeking ways to get attention and constantly being disciplined. I believe such a drum circle group would offer a positive group identity for kids to counter all the negative group pressures and lures. This identity would be particularly important during elementary school years.

An African American drum circle would be a character building group. Kids would have a code of behavior and would learn positive behavior from positive role models and teachings. The groups teaches leadership skills as well as conforming to group/team rules. One of the biggest perks of this drum circle is that children would find a voice to express themselves through drumming. My 11-y.o. mentee needs a positive voice to express the wonderful emotions and aspirations that are inside of him.

I am in no hurry to start this drum circle. I am a catalyst to find people whose passion it is to reach kids in this area and are called to develop such a relationship through an African American cultural heritage that would make a difference in their lives. I would be happy if this would happen in our schools (Ashley) or in our community. Many people have told me that they know the right people. So let’s see who might be interested in starting a conversation around these ideas. Today I spoke with 2 people independently who are very interested in moving forward. It appears that God is faithful in sending the right people to accomplish his purposes.

I woke up this morning thinking about a kid’s drum circle that had a purpose of making choices to follow a different beat in one’s life, to have a group identity and to build character through sharing this message with others. There is a sense of empowerment in African drumming. Jaheim and other boys could benefit. Am I right or what? This could be something that could give boys like Jaheim a tool or voice to express himself other than being a clown with his friends. He would learn to follow a beat with others, not always being different. I see African drum circles at Ashley School, Alpha and Omega Church and in the Rec Centers. Drumming teachers leadership on a high level as well and we can include the study of history as well.

Chester

6/11/2014: Leadership in Constant Change

I’m reading the book, Leadership in Constant Change: Embracing a New Missional Reality, by Terry Hamrick. The church must consider its role and context as it moves towards a new paradigm: 1. The church in America is now located within a dramatically changed context. What no longer works? 2. The good news of the gospel needs to shape the identity of the missional church. Are we witnesses to the Gospel in our relationships with the lost and unchurched and in our programs ? 3. The church must live as an alternative community in the world. How have we compromised our witness by becoming part of the world?4. The church must understand that the Holy Spirit cultivates communities that live out the Kingdom of God. What is our motivation to do church?5. The church is to be led by leadership that focuses on equipping all of God’s people for mission. Is everyone on the same page?6. The missional church needs to develop structures for shaping its life and ministry in connectedness with the larger church. Do we have an outward focus?

We must answer these 3 missional framing questions: a. Where are we being called to connect with God’s mission at this particular place and time? b. What do we need to be and do in order to put ourselves in a position to be best used by God for missions? c. How do we invite the people (leaders and members) to claim our calling to be the people of God in the world?

4/14/2014: The Potter’s House Rebirth Group

The purpose of this group is to bring together all those who support the rebirth of The Potter’s House Family Resource Center, a social justice ministry. This ministry which had done so much good for the community of Winston-Salem, NC was closed in 2008 due to its inability to comply with City Zoning Laws. Today, The Potter’s House has purchased land and is now beginning the process of erecting a new facility that will offer many more services to the residents of northeast Winston-Salem and surrounding areas. The Potter’s House Family Worship Center invites you to become part of a new church start that will assist each individual in developing their spiritual gifts for the glory of God. We believe that it is God’s divine will that we prosper in our minds, bodies and spirits and that we know Jesus Christ in the power of his resurrection.

4/7/2014: Church Leadership in a world in constant change, the new missional reality:

The church is called to respond to fundamental changes in its thinking. We can no longer define success in productivity measures (attendance, giving, programs, institutional metrics). Our challenge is moving from being a church with mission programs to being a church that is the presence of Christ in the world. Defining our vision requires 3 basic questions: 1) Where are we being called to connect with God’s mission in this unique time and place? 2) What do we need to do to put ourselves in the best position to participate in God’s mission? 3) How do we offer this invitation to our congregation and individuals to claim our calling to be the people of God in the world? Being the people of God is risky. Rather than following a path of least disruption, a thriving congregation follows a path that gives us the best possible chance to thrive. So what does success look like? A congregation is thriving when it is continually seeking to understand and live out its role in God’s mission in the world. A congregation is thriving when it understands that it is not the Good News but that it is called to be the presence of Christ who is the Good News. A thriving congregation allows and encourages creative tension to develop and to live with that tension and its results for the long haul. Becoming a people of God is both risky and adaptive. The church is to be a place where hopeless people come to find hope whether inside our walls or out in the community.

Adapted from Terry Hamrick’s book, Leadership in Constant Change: Embracing a New Missional Reality.

5/2/2014: Building character and witnessing through drum circles.
I have been in ministry as a community developer for the past 2 years with Ashley School and surrounding neighborhood. I have developed relationships with several community leaders in that area in order to support self-empowering initiatives such as reading improvement, mentoring, community gardening, family strengthening, creativity, etc. I firmly believe that God has called me at this time in my life to listen, love and act when he leads me in order to empower individuals to have hope and choices to reach beyond their present horizon.

About 2 1/2 months ago I started a relationship as a mentor with an 11-y.o. student at Ashley. This relationship with Jahiem has moved my world view from a theoretical/social problem in that area to a personal calling to make a difference in a young man’s life. I have recently talked with several people about the power and transcendent nature of African drumming to offer a voice to children who otherwise struggle to find an “appropriate” way to express themselves, leadership skills and positive group identity. I see that drum circles can be a network to build character and integrity. I am a drummer myself, but not trained with a djembe. I have met several people recently who love the idea of developing this network of drum circles to help offer hope to children stuck in poverty and depressed neighborhoods. I expect there already are some drum circles going on.

Mr. Lowery, music teacher at Ashley School, is interested in offering this to his students next year. Of course, when we start talking about drum circles, we need to address the funding for supplying djembes, so everybody gets stuck there. I want to explore how we can make this vision happen in the East Winston area, or specifically how can we connect Ashley School and the neighborhood with positive role models through drum circles in the schools and in the community. My interest extends to such a group being rooted in Godly values with standards of behavior and a code of ethics. It is imperative that we start by finding the right person or persons with a passion for like-minded, life-changing relationships.

I think the next step would be to come together with interested parties to discuss our vision and plan to move forward. What are your thoughts?

3/19/2014: A Vision of God
Today my wife and I made our first visits to the Children’s Hospital where we reached out to parents and families of hospitalized children. The list of families from the Ronald McDonald House consisted today of tiny babies in the Pediatric ICI or PICU. One particular visit touched my heart more than the others.

In one of the pods was the most fragile of infants, a little girl maybe one month old, fighting to stay awake. Her mother sat there leaning over her baby with a smile, their eyes fixed on each other. The moment was very tender and peaceful, full of joy. I don’t know what they were facing day to day. They had been battling chronic seizures since birth. However I do know that this moment was the only one that mattered. The connection and love between them was unconditional and perfect.

I see God’s love in this picture. Can’t you imagine being that baby, totally dependent upon her mother, feeling her warm breath and gazing into her eyes? I wonder what has pulled me away from this union. I want to recapture this moment, when God is holding me that close.

3/17/2014: The Garden of Gethsemane Revisited

I have to thank the Southern Pines group of friends and my wife Susan for getting me into reading Bonhoeffer. This week end has been somewhat of an “aha” moment. For the past 40+ years I never really understood what Jesus’ crucifixion had to do with my sins. I heard the words that Jesus died for our sins, but who knows what that means. I understood that the Son of God was fully human, divine and sinless. I understood that he was obedient to God’s plan, and that somehow this was the only way. But how could he take on my sin, much less the sins of the world? Does anybody else have trouble with this concept? On one level I got it that Jesus is the sacrificial Lamb of God, and that the Jewish and ancient religions all perform sacrifices to God or gods to be cleansed. Honestly, that doesn’t make a lot of sense to me either. If I fall away from God and breach my relationship with him through sin, how can killing an innocent animal bring me back into the right relationship? Let me say that I believe that my understanding of how all of this works is irrelevant to my salvation and my walk with Jesus. I am born again in the conviction that Christ died and rose again so that we can have everlasting life. I am fully in a love relationship that has transformed my life. And that is really the only thing that matters.

I am reading a book, Friendship and Resistance, by Eberhard Bethge, who was an associate with Bonhoeffer of the Confessing Church, which eventually evolved into a resistance movement against the Nazification of German Christians in the 1930’s. Bethge survived the Holocaust and spent the rest of his life collecting the writings of and retelling the legacy of Dietrich Bonhoeffer. The Confessing Church started out as a body of young pastors who proclaimed one Lord and separation from the affairs of state. In the growing face of evil these men and women were called to move from resisting by way of confession to confessing by way of resistance. It was out of compassion for the victims that they were compelled to take action. According to Bonhoeffer the cross was not a tragedy for Jesus; it is his greatest glory. Bethge talks about the horrors of Ploetzensee, where over 2500 people were executed during Hitler’s regime. What caught my attention is that he refers to this place as a place of redemption. Bethge remembers Ploetzensee not for the horrors but for the proud gift that it gave to the German people and Christians after the war. The gallows of Ploetzensee gave back the most valuable legacy of integrity to a damaged and guilt-filled people. For those who took a stand against evil and the perversion of the Christian faith, the executions were moments of solidarity in which the victim became stronger than the tyrant. Bethge remembers these deaths as witnesses to life and witnesses to a freedom that embraces the ultimate focus on Jesus Christ, a relationship that for years was being destroyed in Germany. I get that.

Our pastor’s sermon on Sunday put into words that I could understand the events of the Garden of Gethsemane. Jesus knew what he was about to endure, but no one else around knew. I am Peter in this garden, passionately loving Jesus but not quite getting it. I have heard hundreds of times that the weight of all of the world’s sin, past, present and future, bore down on Jesus at this moment. There is no way I can understand that burden. It was so heavy that Jesus wanted to find another path. Why was there no other path? What does all the sin of all time have to do with an innocent man being wrongly crucified? This is why I am depressed every year about this time. The world seems hopeless. There is so much suffering. Things are spinning out of control. The death of Jesus Christ puts me in an abyss of loneliness and pain. I walk away from the cross in tears. The only one who can give me hope is hanging on the cross. I yearn for Easter to come, because I experience the living Christ, the post-resurrection Jesus, in my daily journey. Come quickly, Lord Jesus. I listened to our pastor’s sermon differently on Sunday.

We had just read the story of the flood in Sunday School. Noah’s Ark had always been a children’s story with images of cute animals filing by Noah in pairs, as he probably checked them off his list two by two. I knew there were snakes and spiders and stuff, but of course these children’s pictures are indelibly etched in our minds. The story of the flood is really ugly and violent. Think about the thousands of people clawing at the closed doors, screaming to be saved from total genocide. Think about all of creation being turned upside down, the death of all living things (except probably the fish and of course roaches). All of creation cried out in agony as it was being destroyed. God who created all things was starting all over again. The flood was the only way to save humanity, and it was the most horrific story ever told. Can you imagine Noah and his family watching this happen? What was going through their minds and emotions? It is in this context that I faintly understand what Jesus must have experienced in the Garden of Gethsemane. I’ve never really put the two stories together before. Maybe I’m just slow. Today I have a sense of the power and magnitude of the weight bearing down on Jesus. God hated sin so much that he turned his creation upside down, not once, but twice. He loves us so much that he was willing to do just that for our sake, for me. Like Bonhoeffer, Bethge and others we stand face to face in front of the cross in a world crumbling around us. For me I hope that I will confess Jesus Christ in all things as the only path to take, but beyond confession I hope that I will discern where I can stand against injustice and act to love and care for its victims. This is the only path I can take as I face the cross.

Chester

2/28/2014: Our Heart Has No Color

I learned something today about my role and calling to make a difference in this city. God is totally taking me out of my comfort zone. I never pictured myself as a mentor with a 4th grade boy residing across Hwy 52. I’m a community organizer who enjoys bringing resources together to build hope and opportunity for better neighborhoods. I’m a planter of seeds who spreads ideas and vision where God is already gardening. I’m also an older white guy, and I really can’t identify with African-American kids who are growing up in the “Hood.” So why would I choose to be a mentor? I know my friend told me a couple of months ago that these kids don’t see age or color. They see your heart. It’s a God thing. I heard that message, but I still couldn’t make the leap of faith.

Today I reluctantly went to Ashley Elementary School for the initial male mentoring orientation. I wanted to support such an important program and the men who step up to the plate to be a friend and mentor to a young kid. Believe me, I am overwhelmed by the statistics and the reality in which these children live. Most of the homes do not have fathers living in the house. There is nothing more critical to our society than somehow to help one child to overcome the forces of his environment in order to break loose of these chains. I almost didn’t go to Ashley this morning. I could have slept a little longer, but I went because I had promised God that I would go wherever he leads me. I was thrilled that there were 12 or 13 men present in the room from different churches and walks of life. Many had mentored last year, and some were brand new. All were black. It was good to see some of my friends whom I have gotten to know on this journey as a friend to the Ashley neighborhood. A few of the school staff were there as well. I was the only white guy in the room. I really didn’t belong here. I didn’t fit the qualifications. I thought I could sneak out at the end, and everybody would understand.

After a few introductions from staff and stories from previous mentors, about a dozen 4th and 5th graders came into the room, all had been selected for this program due to their behavior. These boys had been singled out for one-on-one intervention. A couple of boys sat down at my table with sausage biscuits provided by the school. In my uneasiness I turned to talk with one of my friends. From across the table a voice said, “Hey, Mr. David. My name is Jamar.” (I wore a name tag.) “Uh, hello. I’m glad you’re here. How’s it going?” I asked. Jamar told me that he spends the school year with his mom in Winston-Salem and summers in SC with other family. Jamar shocked me right out of the gate, when he said, “I hate Winston-Salem.” He said that his neighborhood was scary and unsafe. I couldn’t imagine what he is dealing with, since I didn’t live there, but I listened to him as he shared a little about himself. I said something to him about individual choices and the men in this room who really care about him. I can’t imagine why this 4th grader picked me out. Maybe it was chance that I happened to be sitting at the same table. There was something very special about this encounter. The staff told me afterwards that Jamar had chosen me, “You don’t want to walk away from such a call.” I feel that God has anointed me in giving me the gift of this opportunity.

I feel both blessed and scared at the same time. In my discomfort to understand and despair to fix Jamar’s situation, I feel happy that he spoke with me. I suspect that God really does know what he’s doing, regardless of my limited understanding at this time. Jamar needs someone who will listen. God has swung this door wide open, no subtlety here, no gentle whisper. One’s chance encounter with a 4th grader becomes God’s eternal plan. I’ve got to walk through this door.

Chester

1/22/2014: Community

Those who dream of this idealized (genuine) community demand that it be fulfilled by God, by others and by themselves. Because God already has laid the only foundation of our community, because God has united us in one body with other Christians in Jesus Christ long before we entered into common life with them, we enter into that life together with other Christians, not as those who make demands, but as those who thankfully receive. We thank God for what God has done for us. We thank God for giving us other Christians who live by God’s call, forgiveness and promise. Dietrich Bonhoeffer

1/16/2014: God’s Hand on this City

I’m a bit shaky right now. You know, after you’ve just had a awe-inspiring event, you wonder now what. What am I supposed to do next? I spent 4 hours with the Love Out Loud Leadership Team, people with whom I have grown to love and respect as my mentors and family in Christ. We met up on the 24th story of Winston Towers with windows overlooking the city. We met to process Christmas for the City and to discern God’s direction for 2014. About 3 p.m. in walks John Bost, who shared his personal story of God’s hand on this city in a clear and dynamic way. After his testimony we all were speechless. No words could capture the sense of history and power of what God is about to do in Winston-Salem. We spent the next 30 minutes in prayer for Winston-Salem and for our being his instrument to tear down walls and to reach people for Christ. I have rarely been so moved and overwhelmed by God’s presence and power. All I could do was to get down on my knees and weep before the Lord. This team has a huge heart to follow Christ’s leadership to impact this city. If you ever want to get a big picture sense of what God is doing, go up to the 24th floor and look out over the city. You might be brought to your knees too. Chester

1/9/2014: My Thoughts on Mentoring

I’ve been praying that we will find men and women who are called to be mentors to children at Ashley School and the neighborhood. The fact that almost 90% of families in that area are without fathers in the home really breaks my heart. How can the world just over Hwy 52 a few miles from me be so different? How did things deteriorate so badly? What can I possibly do about it?

First thing I’m going to do is pray. It seems that with all the reasons and problems we can enumerate “over there,” it is necessary for me that statistics become a personal experience. As I volunteer more at Ashley and spend time in the neighborhood, as I see the faces of children close up, I am changing. They are no longer those children, but they are becoming our children.

The next step for me and maybe my church is to see whether we want to start a mentoring program. This is similar and yet different from tutoring. Mentoring brings the hope God placed in us to a person in need. As mentors we bring Jesus into the relationship by living out the gospel in our daily lives. I talked with someone yesterday from NAMB who gave me some materials about the Christian Association of Youth Mentoring. I wonder…are there adults and youth in our church who are willing to be in relationship with a child? Do we understand the value of a mentoring ministry?

Chester

1/5/2014: Metanoia CEO aims to transform neighborhood

The Greek word “metanoia” typically is translated into English as “repentance,” but it really means more than that. In Christian thought, it refers to the process of self-transformation. Community Developer — Bill is the founder and CEO of the Metanoia Community Development Corporation, a grassroots movement of people focused on the holistic redevelopment of some of our region’s most vulnerable neighborhoods. Rather than focusing on problems, Bill believes philanthropy should focus on discovering and investing in the assets of particular individuals and neighborhoods. Watch the TEDtalks video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dfpU7RtS7bI#t=11 Chester

11/23/2013: Praying for the Community

Jack Gentry asked me to write down the specific areas and connections that need prayer within the H2H Ministry. As I started writing these down, I realize the needs are overwhelming. What a privilege to be part of so many ways in which God is working in our community. I wanted to share these prayer needs with you. Please pick out a couple of things that touch you. Together as one body we can make a difference to ask God to love this community through us.

School teachers and staff – normal burn out things like teachers would be able to realize specific growth in their classes and see results among their students.

Mr Hairston and admin to have a vision and accept community support. Stay focused and connected with reality of their responsibility.

PTA – Pray for Tamara McLaughlin, president, to stay focused on God’s leading and to find parents and resources who respond to her efforts to increase parental involvement and leadership

Community Garden – leadership and funding to turn the Ashley greenhouse and garden into a functional garden to share with others, a teaching tool to reach children and families, to connect with East Winston Community Garden to collaborate and serve the neighborhood http://wschronicle.com/tag/east-winston-community-garden/

Rebecca’s Store – vision of reaching people not in church to connect them with Jesus Christ through offering fresh fruit and vegetables. Wayne and Tamica Patterson are owners. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-cJZmaKyQ5k, http://wschronicle.com/2013/03/community-helps-end-fresh-food-deserts/

Saturday Academy – 15 or so WFU students volunteer to tutor about 15 Ashley students on Saturdays. Need transportation for kids who are unable to get there. Need to grow in spring to reach more kids and families. Has a component for nutrition education and family involvement.

Pray for Belinda Beard specifically (Ardmore UMC), who is almost single-handedly running the Academy.

Tutor training – We need a leader who can put together a support and training group for existing and future tutors. The school needs many more trained tutors to catch up to standard reading grade levels.

Augustine Literacy Project – I’ve connected Ashley with this organization out of St. Paul’s Ep Church. We have met together, and we are hoping to begin a training program for Orton-based tutors on Feb 10-14. This is an exciting resource for Ashley, but it requires commitment to tutor 2 times per week.

Building Community Leadership Team – I have invited several black pastors, community leaders and interested people who live in the Ashley community to come together on Dec 12 at Ashley to start a dynamic neighborhood focus group to address specific issues related to low reading levels in support of the Saturday Academy. The hope is that this team will become invested in the issues of this school and expand to take leadership and accountability for the solutions. Alvin Atkinson, Exec Director of the Center for Community Safety, has agreed to offer his expertise and leadership to get things started. I am meeting on Monday with Ike Black from LaDeara Crest and Liberty East Redevelopment Project. Latchkey Inc – Michael Burton is a partner in the neighborhood, who works closely with the Huntleys. The vision of Latchkey is to provide a safe and stimulating early care and educational experience which promotes each youths social, emotional, physical and cognitive development. http://wschronicle.com/tag/latch-key-inc/

Male Mentoring – I’ve talked with Pastor Hanchell from Mt. Calvary Holy Church nearby and others about establishing and building a male mentoring connection for Ashley kids. There are a few churches in the area with whom I have discussed their role in providing healthy family role modeling (Goler Memorial, Ambassador Cathedral, Greater Tabernacle Worship Center, Twin City Community Church, etc.) 90% of homes in this neighborhood are without fathers.

Ardmore Baptist Church and partners – continue to cast the vision and God’s leadership to grow into the active missional church to connect people with Jesus Christ and each other in life-changing relationships. I’ve been praying for a co-leader who can join us to provide organizational and tangible project management skills to these cockamamie ideas and initiatives. Pray that we find meaningful ways to become a community church with an outward orientation. Backpack Program – heart to feed hungry children and funding to sustain the number of backpacks that is appropriate for our church.

Love Out Loud – Overall love for this city in tangible and relational ways to connect people and be the hands and feet of Jesus within the Gospel message. Connects about 50 Christ-centered churches for service and relationships with people from all walks of life. Discerns what God is already doing and seeks to build up and connect these individual efforts. http://www.loveoutloudws.com/

Christmas for the City – I am on a planning committee for Christmas for the City, a mega event on Dec 20 at the Benton Convention Center, sponsored by Love Out Loud. (http://www.christmasforthecity.com/) We will have around 10,000 people in attendance to celebrate Christ’s birth through music and art. There will be 50-100 non-profits present to meet people and let the city know of their services. People from all over the spectrum will be there, from homeless to parents of youth participating in the orchestra, etc. This is really a city-wide event of cross cultural, racial and socio-economic boundaries. Christmas for the City (CFTC) is emphasizing 4 areas of service and need: Hunger, education, healthcare and homelessness. There will be tangible opportunities in each of these areas for volunteers and visitors to engage. The Gospel message is part of everything we do but felt through individual connections. The Gospel story will be part of the media message on screens and in various performances. This is an opportunity us at Ardmore to join an interdenominational collaboration of like-minded churches to reach a city that needs to have joy and oneness in spirit. CFTC started in 2008 and has evolved into one of the most dynamic events of the year. Is that enough? These issues are absolutely on my heart, given the call to develop life-changing relationships with people in the neighborhood and city. I’d like to have a prayer team to pray for Ashley kids and concerns. Chester

12/28/2013: Toxic Charity

I’m re-reading Toxic Charity, since we will start a discussion of this book at my PromiseKeepers breakfast on Jan 9. In the section of Chapter 3 called “When Justice and Mercy Meet” Upton makes the following statement, “Compassion is a dangerous thing. It causes reasonable people to make extravagant heart decisions….” to do over-the-top acts of mercy. Most of us are wired to be triggered or set off to save a bird with a broken wing or to take food to a child orphaned by a tsunami or earthquake.

“Compassion is a powerful force, a stamp of the divine nature within our spirits,” he writes. “Mercy is a portal, a door, an invitation to touch a life and to make a difference. But it is not a destination.” Mercy without justice degenerates into dependency and entitlement. Justice without mercy is cold and impersonal, more concerned about rights than relationships. This same compassion acted out in the form of charity can result in creating an unintended toll of loss of dignity, a superior position of the giver. Instead, establishing an authentic parity between people of unequal power is delicate work. Relationships built in reciprocal exchange make parity possible. And parity is the higher form of charity.

I know I’m preaching to the choir. So let me get to the point. I would like to start or enter into an existing conversation about a clothing exchange, food co-op or toy shop consignment that will both provide a source of economic growth and opportunity for some individuals as well as create empowerment among the Ashley neighborhood. What is the recent history of such an endeavor in the East Winston area? Do they exist already? What can we do to support and build pride and ownership within this community? In 2014 I have talked with some people about partnering to start a male mentoring program. I’d like to look at either a music mentoring or a sports camp mentoring initiative, or both.

10/24/2013: Moving to a Holistic Approach

I read in the WS Journal today that Ashley is one of four schools named by the school board as a focus school. This designation perhaps calls attention to these schools as the schools with the largest education gap as tested within the sub-groups. This designation may dictate that Ashley implement predetermined interventions and will certainly be followed to measure improvement. I learned as a state and Federal employee that I didn’t ever want to be on my manager’s chart to be micro-managed. I would guess the Ashley staff is buzzing to determined what they need to do.

There may indeed be added benefits for help in the areas of tutoring and curriculum. However I want to take this opportunity to do some focusing myself. There are 2 areas of focus that we can offer to the Ashley staff.
1) They need our prayer. As each teacher is already overwhelmed by the job, we need to pray that there will be an atmosphere of support and creativity. Pray that the staff will be able to break the larger task down into manageable, realistic steps. I know Principal Hairston has already begun interventions with his staff. This news is no surprise.
2) We need to make sure that we are asking how we can do better to support the school. Ashley really, really needs our help. The #1 need that has been communicated to me consistently is more volunteers. We have begun recruiting reading tutors for this fall. Several people have responded. WFU has offered 17-20 volunteer tutors to participate in the Saturday Academy for Ashley students. Ms. Bailey told me yesterday that they need 40 tutors soon. I would like to encouraged us to promote and recruit folks whom we know to pitch in. Being a tutor is a one hour commitment weekly. I have heard only wonderful stories about volunteers’ experiences and relationships with their kids.

Help me find those who are called to help, not only tutoring, but other support needed at Ashley. Call me or Angela Miller (655-5173) to get started.

10/15/2013: From effectiveness to faithfulness from Center for Courage & Renewal How do you stand and act in the tragic gap and do it for the long haul? If we are to take on the things that really matter, Parker J. Palmer suggests we cannot settle for mere “effectiveness” as the ultimate measure of our success or failure. Watch http://vimeo.com/35028736.

Chester

09/30/2013: Insights written (not by me) about a champion in our community, a servant leader and developer. His name is John: When Jesus was asked by John the Baptist if He was the messiah, Jesus responds, “The blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cured, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is preached to the poor.” John believes that as Jesus was sent into the world, we too are sent in His name into the world–especially to the cities in which we live, to make a measurable difference. As he has worked with churches, he has been distressed that so often churches are so occupied with the `stuff’ of being a local church, that the opportunity of reaching and impacting a city has no energy available for it. It is as if the way we have chosen to do and be the church in modern America has sapped all the energy away from the activities that Jesus identifies as being core to his Kingdom. If that is true, is our Lord willing to sit by while we ignore His calling? Will He `repossess’ His church, calling us to rediscover the incredible wealth of our gifts, for some time now shut away in some dark closet?

09/30/2013: The Assigning of the Call

I now rejoice in my sufferings for you, and fill up in my flesh what is lacking in the afflictions of Christ, for the sake of His body, which is the church . . . —Colossians 1:24 We take our own spiritual consecration and try to make it into a call of God, but when we get right with Him He brushes all this aside. Then He gives us a tremendous, riveting pain to fasten our attention on something that we never even dreamed could be His call for us. And for one radiant, flashing moment we see His purpose, and we say, “Here am I! Send me” (Isaiah 6:8). This call has nothing to do with personal sanctification, but with being made broken bread and poured-out wine. Yet God can never make us into wine if we object to the fingers He chooses to use to crush us. We say, “If God would only use His own fingers, and make me broken bread and poured-out wine in a special way, then I wouldn’t object!” But when He uses someone we dislike, or some set of circumstances to which we said we would never submit, to crush us, then we object. Yet we must never try to choose the place of our own martyrdom. If we are ever going to be made into wine, we will have to be crushed—you cannot drink grapes. Grapes become wine only when they have been squeezed. I wonder what finger and thumb God has been using to squeeze you? Have you been as hard as a marble and escaped? If you are not ripe yet, and if God had squeezed you anyway, the wine produced would have been remarkably bitter. To be a holy person means that the elements of our natural life experience the very presence of God as they are providentially broken in His service. We have to be placed into God and brought into agreement with Him before we can be broken bread in His hands. Stay right with God and let Him do as He likes, and you will find that He is producing the kind of bread and wine that will benefit His other children. My Utmost for his Highest

August 7: Just Show Up

I’m always amazed that God keeps loving us and working in this world despite our inconsistent readiness and often less-than-positive attitude. Some days things just don’t go right, or I’m not feeling like conquering the world today, and God intervenes to say, “I’ve already worked things out. I just want you to show up.”

Frankly, I really didn’t feel like going to Ashley School today. It would have been so easy to get involved in a project and stay at home. But as it turns out, Susan told me that she was going to Ashley with me, so I figured I would show up. There weren’t many kids at Ashley today. This was their last week of free lunches. So things were slow. That gave me a chance to spend some time with Johnny, the owner of Cloverdale Kitchen, who has been volunteering with the Summer Fun Reading Club. I took him to drive by Alpha and Omega Church, see the East Winston Community Garden and share our vision of community development.

We also went to Rebecca’s Store, a nearby corner store, who is the first and only place in East Winston to carry fresh fruits and vegetables. It’s not much bigger than a one-room cabin, but the invitation to enter and the warmth was huge. We went inside and met Dominique, who obviously loved the opportunity to share her story with us. Within minutes of our departure, the store owner called me to thank us for coming by. She is a sister in Christ with a vision for her community. She shared her love for ministry and loving her neighbors by offering them nutritious food along with some education. We just talked again on the phone, and I’m meeting her Friday morning to explore God’s plan for us.

My church is growing. God continues to bless me and this ministry, as he continues to do what he is going to do in our city. If we just show up and look around, it is evident that God is working for our good in redeeming and loving his people. I’m glad I showed up today. Chester

August 6: The Strudel Maker

One of my fondest memories of my grandmother was watching her make strudel dough. Grandma lived in New York City and came to visit us in Winston-Salem only a couple of times a year. New York City was over 500 miles away. Grandma lived most of her life in Hungary until WWII. She moved to the States in 1950 to live near her only daughter. Her husband and many of her family had been killed in the German concentration camps. Although she spoke only broken English, she found a way to talk with us through her cooking. I loved home-made strudel, and Grandma enjoyed pleasing us by making this dessert every time she visited.

Making strudel was a big deal; it took all day; and nobody else could get near the kitchen when she worked. I marveled at her taking a small ball of dough and rolling it, and stretching it, and rolling it, and stretching it for hours with the hands of an artist to mold this dough into a paper thin layer that covered the entire kitchen table. God has molded me over the years just like a sheet of strudel dough. When I accepted Christ into my life, I was a shapeless ball without any purpose. God is the Creator of life, and He shapes us into what He wants us to be in order to best serve Him. Believe me, God has had to pound on me, stretch me and work me a great deal to make me into His vessel.

Two things God wanted me to learn before he could use me: 1) God wanted me to trust Him completely, and 2) He wanted me to know how much He loves me. I struggle daily with trusting God completely. I always wanted to keep control for myself. I wanted to shape my own life and then ask God to bless it. It seems rather silly to think of a piece of strudel dough deciding on its own to be chocolate cake and shaping itself into a cake form. God’s hands have shaped me to trust Him completely. A few years ago my daughter became very sick. We tried everything to make her well, but her condition kept worsening. I lost hope that she would ever get well and live a normal life. I cried out to God to make her well, but she remained very sick. It was at this time when I could no longer do anything on my own, when I lost control of everything, God reached down and touched me deeply. He said to me, “Chester, I love you very much. I will always take care of you. And I have loved your daughter even more than you can love her, and will always take care of her too.

I learned that there is nothing that will ever separate me from the incredible love that God has for me. I also learned that God has a plan for our lives, and no matter what happens, even if things seem hopeless, God will provide everything we need. In the end He will be victorious. It is wonderful to live your life knowing that God is the One who is in charge. He has already worked everything out. We don’t have to worry or prove ourselves to anybody. God is shaping us into a beautiful and unique shape of His own liking. God is the strudel maker.

June 16: Awedahcity.

I’m intrigued with the implication of this word as it relates to our ministry. It encompasses the systemic movement and pervasive excitement that God is doing something special in Winston-Salem. He is creating possibilities in unexpected places.

June 15: Our God of Convenience?

At breakfast this morning with my PromiseKeepers group one of the men mentioned that his friend has a car where you don’t have to use a key to unlock the door or even start the engine. When his hands are full with packages, he doesn’t have to put anything down or fumble around for the keys. Software has alleviated hardship. Technology has made us quite lazy perhaps. If not lazy, at least we have gotten used to many conveniences. I got to thinking about a keyless entry theology. You know, one might tattoo a cross on one’s forearm or elsewhere, or one might put up a placard that says “John 3:16” to be easily seen. That gives us a guarantee that when we die, Peter can just scan us at the gate and we are culled or sorted into 2 groups. (This is very Biblical, because God already did that with the Israelites at Passover.) Perhaps our tattoo has faded a bit or misshapen because we have gotten older and fatter. The scanner buzzes, and Peter asks us whether we are real Christians. A moment of pregnant silence ensues, “Hey, I’m a Baptist, and I was baptized by immersion. That qualifies me, doesn’t it? That guy over there was only sprinkled as an infant. Moreover, let me give you this list of good deeds that……..”

What an absurd scenario, one that is the scene of many jokes. But I still get this gnawing feeling inside. So, God, I really did give my life to Christ 30+ years ago. Did I do enough? The Bible tells us that God has already forgiven our sins, so we don’t have anything to do to earn our free pass. What did Jesus mean then that passing the scanner test is harder that a camel going through the eye of a needle? Oh come on! We have a conflict here. I got to thinking that we really want the sound bite answer, the convenient, all-in-one, sale-of-the-century approach. I don’t have time to decipher complexity. I listen to my brothers everyday struggling to figure this puzzle out. How much does God want me to sell and give to the poor? We certainly have created many rules, haven’t we? And most of them are good for us. I am reminded of many friends and family who have died. I remember many visits with them as they were lying in the bed waiting to die. These rules and conditions were not important to them Their eyes looked upward, as they were focused only on God. That wasn’t that hard, looking up and knowing that God loves us just the way we are, trusting that God has prepared a place for us. At least when I am on my death bed, I hope I can be fully focused on Jesus. There will be no distractions, no sales pitches or promises of happiness via some instruction book. The only thing that exists will be the reality that I am loved. The only thing for me to do is to turn my eyes towards Jesus. Now if that’s not convenient, I don’t know what is. He has given us this free gift of relationship, and Jesus is the key to enter into this relationship. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. 1 Cor 13:12 Chester

June 9: I wanted to tell you about the party we had and are having in our new ministry with Ashley and the neighborhood. I thought this morning about the joy and freedom of gathering yesterday at the East Winston Community Garden to work together with various people from different places. We shared one bond in Christ for the singular purpose of being a community church. I listened to Bishop Huntley, his first lady Deloris, Michael Burton of Latch Key Youth Ministry, Mary Jac of the Extension Agency, Deacon Johnson who plowed and planted the garden almost by himself, Paul Davidson of Revo, James McRavion of male mentoring at Ashley and Principal Hairston of Ashley – all share our vision for this community. This community garden, as well as others around the city, is a symbol of healing and hope. It is so much more than a garden, It is place of belonging, of accountability, of pride and beauty and of entrepreneurship.

They are going to build a beautiful park, a refuge and a place for community. I would love to take you there and walk the length of the garden, and share with you the dream of this neighborhood. I really want you to share this joy with you and be a part of this awesome work that God is doing. It would be a joy for me to do this.

I was reading Toxic Charity this afternoon and came across this paragraph, “If trust is essential for building relationships and making enterprises run effectively, then we have to find a way for out-siders to become insiders.” We appear to be building a community already well on its way towards wholeness, empowerment and shared joy in Christ. We need to go and to promote the CCDA Intensive workshop for July 12 and 13. This is a tremendous opportunity for our church leaders and those interested to strengthen our community outreach and mission.

Chester

June 2: “Community Building” Meeting at Ashley: My 2 Cents Worth I do appreciate the passion and vision that each of you have brought to our organizational meeting last week. I think it is important that we focus for now on tangible and doable goals that are common to us all. Building a team that will last and that will be effective essentially involves 2 things: common vision and good leadership. Everybody in the room cares deeply about our children’s future. They are our future, and we will go to any length to ensure that they are loved and that they have the best opportunity to realize their potential through strong education and family values.

We will support our many individual efforts and ministries as we are able, but we realize that in a community our collective energy and spirit can rise above all our efforts. Today I listened carefully, even though I confess that as an outsider, I do not have the same experiences. I loved hearing a father talk about the unstoppable commitment to his child to go to any length to be the strong father his son needs. One mother did the right and hard thing to give to her son what she knew he needed at a great sacrifice. She said that her son needed his father at this time in his life. She couldn’t fill that role. It is evident that one of our duties as a group that empowers is to strengthen and encourage male mentors for the Ashley students. I want to be part of this mission.

One member hit a chord dear to all of us. How can we encourage parents to participate in their child’s life and education? Statistics are discouraging. We can beat our heads against a wall to offer all kinds of programs, but we will die unless we build relationships one by one. Maybe our door-to-door survey will begin to understand where these parents are and the challenges they face. I think we can almost answer that question without a survey. Perhaps the real value of our survey is going into their homes and meeting them where they are. I can’t say enough what power that may have. We not only should assess their needs, we should give them hope that their investment will be important not only to their children but to the community. In other words, we are offering a vision that they can buy into. I am reminded of the vacuum cleaner salesman trying to sell a vacuum cleaner to a household with wood floors. We don’t need to do that. Another member said it well. We have to be real, meet them where they are, back to basics.

The Summer Fun Book Club will take off on Wednesday, June 26, from 11-1 p.m. The purpose of this weekly event, initiated by Hunger2Health.org, is to engage children to fall in love with reading. We welcome others to join us as volunteers or to offer other programs on another weekday, when over 100 children from the neighborhood are there for their free lunches. Contact Belinda Beard (bbeard@bellsouth.net) if interested. I love the idea of bringing dramatic reading and theater to Ashley during this time. We also are soliciting volunteers to spend one hour a week during the school year to be reading tutors. If we can help one child to read well, we can make a difference for a life-time.

A pastor’s story about pride, empowerment, accountability, reconciliation and leadership develop is absolutely on target. We must work to engage people to invest in their community, to find ways to beautify the neighborhood, to bring economic develop and resources back and to teach healthy ways of eating and healthcare by offering access to first-tier food products. We will engage our media friends to feature the work and successes of this community. We will find a voice.

Upcoming dates: June 11 at Mt Calvary Holy, time? Bring questions/ideas to write Survey

June 27 at 4 p.m., next meeting at Ashley?

June 8 Community Day at Alpha and Omega for East Winston Community

Garden, 9-noon

July 11 at 7 p.m. Prayer at the Pole at Ashley School

Christians from around the city will meet at the flagpole to pray

for the students, their families, the staff, and the surrounding

neighborhood.

July 12 Christian Community Development Assoc for pastors and

community leaders

July 13 CCDA General training

(http://www.communityservetriad.com/CCDA

Chester

May 18: The joy of sharing ministry.

Ministry from inside out. First of all, I am reminded that we on the outside often are so caught up in the dysfunction and negative statistics of our under-resourced areas that we fail to notice saints tirelessly working for a better neighborhood from the inside. Every neighborhood has indigenous assets and pockets of Godly laborers. I have been praying for a long time that God would build a bridge, that I could sit down with someone to listen to their stories and to discover how God wants to use me. The neighborhood around Ashley Elementary School was an undertaking until I met the Huntleys. I just spent over 2 hours with John and Deloris Huntley, who are the pastor and his wife at Alpha and Omega Church near Ashley. Bishop Huntley runs this small church that once had 4 members. Deloris left her job with the Urban League and started a food pantry with which she has connected a family ministry for that neighborhood. The Family Institute serves the 75 or so people who walk to this church every other Tuesday to get food from the pantry and friendship from the Huntleys. The mission statement of this Family Institute is to build strong families in the community. In the basement of this small church are children books for kids, 4 computers, a small clothes rack and shoe rack with baby/children’s shoes. the pantry and a large counter and kitchen. They offer instruction on using and cooking the food as part of the pantry experience. They have many other person-building events such as GED classes, exercise classes, nutrition and health consciousness. This summer they have enrolled 67 children in the neighborhood in a Summer Academy, 8-wk. 5 days a week learning and character building experience. The Huntleys are totally invested in the lives of the children and families around Ashley. I thank God for them and for our spending this afternoon together sharing stories and passions. They are exactly whom I have prayed for in beginning to share a ministry with the people in the neighborhood. They have started an exciting Community Garden in a couple of empty lots across the street. We’re already talking about cooperating with the Ashley community garden to feed the neighborhood. Pastor Huntley needs help in carrying out his vision for this church in their outreach to the neighborhood. I felt a true brotherhood with my new friends, as we sat at their table together and shared our vision. There are many people who call their neighborhood home. Thanks to the Huntleys, I felt the love for their neighbors and for me. Chester

May 2, 2013: We prayed, and we realized that this concert on May 4 is a bridge to building our connections with the community. This is more about God’s plan for this city and for each of us who attend and will be touched by what God is doing. Allison is singing a Louis Armstrong song, “A Kiss to Build a Dream On,” but I’m singing our song, “A Bridge to Build a Ministry On.” There is a tension before the concert. It’s excitement all mixed up with angst. All the musicians are primed to offer their best. People are coming who are passionate about touching kids’ lives, about doing something about our city’s crisis and about releasing God’s compassion across this city. We have prepared well, but now let’s see what God will do with us. I know I will be tucked away somewhere in the crowd looking for what God is doing and praying that He will blow us away once again. Don’t miss it. See you there.

Apr 28, 2013: Smelling Like Sheep: Five Senses of H2H Ministry

He answered, “You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind. And you must love our neighbor as yourself.” Doing ministry can be a full-bodied experience, just like God calls us to love him with everything we have. I was reflecting on this idea today. Serving the Ashley neighborhood certainly is not a clean and distant exercise. It involves all of our senses. The first sense is sight. Every time I see a child without enough to eat or a family living in poverty, imprisoned by life circumstance, I pray that God will allow me to see them through his eyes. Jesus’ light shines through us as we serve. Hearing is listening. I want to sit down with people and listen to their stories. I want to learn what is good in their lives and where God is calling me to be Jesus. I am constantly listening for God’s voice in the world around me. Our touch can be God’s power. Through touching people, we sense them in a wholly (holy) unique way. We let people into our lives and affirm them as brothers and sisters through our touch. “How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!” Psa 119:103. Helping to make a difference by feeding hungry children is absolutely connected to our message of hope, healing and salvation. We are the salt of the world. “For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved.” 2 Cor 2:15. New research shows that the smell of fresh coffee is one of the most attractive smells. When I smell freshly brewed coffee, I anticipated something new and exciting. I also expect conversation and intimacy. That’s a great image. So how do we also smell like sheep? We are all shepherds. We each have one or more flocks with whom we are entrusted. A good shepherd knows his sheep by name; he nourishes the young, bandages the wounded, cares for the weak and protects them from harm. Love and trust between a shepherd and his flock can only be gained one way – by touching, carrying, handling, tending and feeding this sheep. Only when that happens do we start to smell like sheep. “People in the streets don’t care about what you got til they know how much you care.” Anon

Feb 17, 2-13: Just finished reading the last 2 chapters of Beyond Charity by John Perkins. Christian community development must be grounded in a living relationship with Christ. Otherwise our efforts will be short-lived and short-sighted. Our motivation must be to bear fruit within the family of faith, while expecting God to reveal his plan to us, expecting that God will move in the lives of those he has called. We have a conviction that God goes into the world ahead of our efforts, desires and creativity. The Bible says that we are cracked vessels. The light of Christ in us is able to shine through those cracks. Christ calls us to minister in his strength and by his Spirit, for we are broken, and we will stumble and fall along the way. We are to be Christ’s hands, feet and heart to those we serve. Incarnation is the life of Jesus continued in a community through the church. Charity is not enough. It falls far short of Christ’s example and cannot embody the whole person of Jesus Christ. As we are able to see our world with Jesus’ eyes, we could have no other response but to say, “Here am I, Send me,” because of what God has already done for us.

Dec 29. 2012: 2012 has been an amazing year for H2H, Ashley and me personally. It really was a roller coaster ride for me, wasn’t it? I thought I would outline some thoughts and/or goals that I have personally, and hopefully H2H and others will play major roles.

1. To be more intentional and specific about our team’s prayer time for Ashley. 2. To continue to develop and build a volunteer base for tutoring and mentoring. Present other opportunities to support the PTA. Consider a tutor for math. 3. Develop a stronger partnership with Ardmore UMC, Revo and Love Out Loud to support all service delivery into the neighborhood. 4. Begin and development a covenant relationship with churches and individuals in the Ashley neighborhood. Develop a strategy for mutual goals. 5 . Maintain a presence with PTA planning and meetings. 6. Plan for the Summer Fun Reading Program. Consider adding another day with a second group of volunteers. 7. Plan for the Summer Reading Camp. Choose materials and parameters. 8. Coordinate and explore fundraising efforts to sustain backpacks. Set goals for number of backpacks for 2014. 9. Consider summer field trips to cultural and educational sites such as Sci-Works, Bethabra, Old Salem, Horn Creek, Reynolda House. Possibly with Mentoring Program. 10. Develop a drama/Arts Summer program in cooperation with Creative Drama Children’s Theater and ABES. Write grant. Yes, an ambitious endeavor, but the ideas are on the table. I hope to engage organizations and businesses to help with fundraising. I also want to have one or more concerts in the spring and fall with Ardmore Baptist Church, Revo and Ardmore UMC at mutual locations to include Ashley neighborhood residents. It will take a village (to borrow a phrase from Hillary) and coordination of our community. BTW, ABES School (not their current name) is wanting to get involved in a service project for/with Ashley. I thought they could collect books for Ashley. What do you think?

Dec 17, 2012: Christian Community Development

Many of us have a deep sense that the world is not as it should be. Broken relationships. Divided communities. Poverty and violence in our neighborhoods . . . The good news is that God longs to work through us to help restore things to the way they were intended to be. We desire to be a network of Christians committed to seeing people and communities wholistically restored. We believe that God wants to restore us not only to right relationship with Himself but also with our own true selves, our families and our communities. Not just spiritually, but emotionally, physically, economically, and socially. Not by offering mercy alone, but by undergirding mercy with justice. Nov 9, 2012: CHRISTIAN COMMUNITY DEVELOPMENT ASSOCIATION”Where there is no vision, the people perish . . . ” (Prov 29:18) Following the example of Jesus, we commit to the work of reconciliation, seeking the shalom of our communities and world. This calling is radical but in line with the Biblical prophetic tradition. To help create a Kingdom reality that is already accessible but also “not yet,” we cultivate our prophetic imaginations and draw on spiritual sustenance for the journey.Our Vision Wholistically restored communities with Christians fully engaged in the process of transformation.Next, defining our mission is a necessary step that takes us from just “seeing” to actually “doing.”Our Mission To inspire, train, and connect Christians who seek to bear witness to the Kingdom of God by reclaiming and restoring under-resourced communities.Our Statement of Faith The Lord Jesus Christ, God’s son, redeems us through His death and resurrection and empowers us by the Holy Spirit. The Bible is God’s Word and through it we are called to live out justice, reconciliation, and redemption. The church nurtures God’s people gathered in a community to carry out God’s Word.Nov 8, 2012: Four Keys to Looking Outward By Tom EhrichThe advice I am giving church leaders — “look outward, not inward” — sounds simple enough, but it is profoundly complicated and often unwelcome.If it meant only “be more mission-minded,” outward-orientation wouldn’t stir much alarm. I think most churches have a serious heart for mission – maybe a bit too much of the “noblesse oblige” style, but still a desire to help the disadvantaged. Looking outward means more than mission, however. It also means: • a fundamental orientation toward the needs of others • deriving purpose from strangers and prospects, not from self-interest • giving away what you have, even that which is most treasured • letting the future emerge, rather than insisting on continuity What do I mean, and why is it so difficult? A fundamental orientation toward the needs of others Most enterprises exist to serve the needs of current constituents. A school serves its students, a museum serves its patrons, a business serves its customers and employees. A church is fundamentally different, or ought to be. Die to self, Jesus said, and live for others. If a beggar cries from the roadside, don’t take a poll to see who wants to stop. Just stop, because the beggar needs healing. Churches have worked hard in recent decades to measure and monitor the satisfaction of “those who pay the bills.” Leaders ask constituents what they want and then, within available resources, do their best to provide. An outward orientation does it exactly the opposite. It asks what the world outside needs and then engages constituents in providing. Deriving purpose from outside, not inside Most people, even churchgoers, have little experience in an outward way of defining purpose. In a sense, every generation is a “me generation.” When a faith community does what Jesus did, it stands that attitude on its ear and thus violates every norm and expectation. The pushback can be enormous. I remember the bride who shouted at me during a rehearsal, “You’re not letting me get what I want!” In less strident tone, that has been the bottom-line of church arguments for decades. I don’t like – the new prayer book, women at the altar, kids in church, that paint color, the new pastor – therefore it is wrong and should be stopped. When you look outside at a world marked, say, by loneliness, poverty, unemployment and at-risk children, the paint color or pastor’s foibles seem less important. Giving away what you have Most churches have a strong inclination toward “preservation” — preserve the facility, preserve, history, preserve denominational identity, preserve local traditions. In an outward orientation, you discover that prospects and strangers generally don’t care at all about those treasures being preserved. They have other issues, concerns and needs. To respond to them, you will find yourself having to give up the beloved treasure. Control of space, control of language, control of worship style, control of how the budget is allocated, control of staff priorities – it all gets challenged. Letting the future emerge If the congregation’s narrative is alive, it is told by people on hand, people out there, and our various senses of interacting with God. It can be a challenging narrative to discern and articulate. But you can be sure that the narrative – the story a congregation tells to name its identity, purposes and beliefs – will emerge as something in formation, and not as a continuity of something previously told. An insistence on continuity merely shuts down the story-tellers and story-livers. If they are given wings, however, they will tell a soaring tale of what God is doing now and where God is leading. That narrative will be breathtaking and audacious – and largely, perhaps entirely, disconnected from the narrative that went before. This can be an uplifting process, as people see the amazing things God is doing. It can also be painful and disorienting. You can see why “looking outward” is often taken to mean adding one more day to the feeding ministry. If only it were that easy….Oct 25, 2012: Love Out Loud is a collaboration of Christ-centered churches living out Christ’s call to love our neighbor by releasing unprecedented levels of compassion across Winston-Salem by mobilizing the body of Christ for the transformation of our communities.Sep 24, 2012: I was blind to people who were hungry I didn’t know any hungry people. This was not my world. But things changed. God opened my eyes. Jesus talked about the rich man who walked past Lazarus every day, sitting at his gates with sores and begging to eat scraps from the table. I now look Lazarus in the eye and see a child of God. I see me. I can no longer pass on by.

Sep 8, 2012: A New Wave of Evidence—In Short

The evidence is consistent, positive, and convincing: families have a major influence on their children’s achievement in school and through life. This fourth edition of Evidence confirms that the research continues to grow and build an ever-strengthening case. When schools, families, and community groups work together to support learning, children tend to do better in school, stay in school longer, and like school more. Do you want to read more?http://www.sedl.org/connections/resources/evidence.pdf

Sep 5, 2012: I have certainly enjoyed sharing my ministry with you. It started off with God’s healing my blindness to suffering and hunger in our own community. This ministry began to take shape as God sent the people we needed to share a passion and to carry on the vision of responding to God’s nudge. The vision embraced risk and power, going outside our walls to make a difference to these kids and to a hurting community. The H2H ministry grew as we began to be obedient to God’s call and listen to what he was saying. And now I feel we are about to join a community of churches to explode into many hands and hearts across the community to tackle head-on dire needs and to develop many new relationship in unison of spirit. We are the Church. We’re not Baptist, Presbyterian, Methodist or Moravian. We have no color, no bigotry, no prejudice or no hatred. We are one in Christ, called to a purpose to lift one another up and to give ourselves to follow Christ’s leadership.I feel that W-S is primed to do something big. Churches everywhere are responding to the hunger crisis with anticipation and energy. There is an air of cooperation and commitment. There are several forums on hunger coming up just in the next 2 weeks. I have been invited to attend one on Sep 17 with 81 churches who are meeting to talk about our response to such a crisis. There’s another this Saturday at the Food Bank and at United Way. H2H has gotten off to an incredible start. We’re only less than a year old, but we have begun to be a part of a revolution. God is changing the hearts of people on the inside. He is calling us to be in relationship with kids at Ashley School in the middle of the “hood.” We are joining hands with many churches to support the school staff. We are calling for mentors and tutors to fill places vacated by mothers and fathers. We are being called to give kids an opportunity to read so that they can have possibilities of success later in life. We are being called to support families and parent involvement through PTA events and other school/neighborhood activities. I am proud to be in God’s army. I’ve longed to be counted as a soldier for Christ. Pray that we can continue to listen to God’s voice and turn this community around, starting with ourselves and with one child at a time. Pray that we can reach people in the Ashley neighborhood to build a strong inner core of spirit-led leadership. Pray that we will always be looking for what God is doing among us and that we will always have courage and conviction to respond in ways that are pleasing to him.

Aug 5, 2012: If you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday. Isaiah 58:10

July 22, 2012: Pray that we at Ardmore will become bold witnesses to Christ’s love as we go and work among Ashley folks and neighborhood. When we step up and boldly become God’s people, the world will become the world, the risen Christ will be seen, and God will be glorified.

June 15, 2012: I talked with a man at work today for the first time. I shared with him about our ministry. He teaches a SS class of younger adults at a local church near Ashley, and he said just yesterday they were talking about finding a new ministry to get involved in. He and I will continue our conversation, but he is very interested in their getting involved with Ashley. He then said he mentored a whole group of kids in another state before he moved to W-S last year, so we are again thanking God for his grace and provision. It is apparent to me that it’s going to take a lot of people and coordination among churches to effectively reach and address the needs of the Ashley School and neighborhood. If all the people with whom I have talked and have shown an interest in helping out, if God leads them to join this ministry in any way, well….we should have a celebration. What do you do but maybe cry out humbly, because there is already a great deal of pain and suffering that we have not yet even seen right across 52. Sometimes when I sit down and think about it, like right now, I weep. I can’t even imagine what it’s like to go hungry on weekends or to not have the same opportunity that I grew up and took for granted thinking we all had it. I can’t imagine that people don’t have hope and peace in knowing Jesus’ love and promise. Thinking on what he’s done in my life, how he loved and protected me well before I knew him, how when I was hopeless and alone because life was just temporary and meaningless, and he called my name. This is ridiculous. I’m sitting here at my desk crying like a baby. I hope you don’t mind. I’m not even sure why. God is preparing us for something. I guess all I can say is amen. Is this what Gideon felt like before he went into battle?

Apr 2, 2012: Did you know that the name H2H was created not only to depict the mission of this ministry in bringing people from hunger to health and from spiritual hunger to heaven, the 2 H’s also honor Ben Hahn and Ben Hodge, both serving in the military in the Middle East?

Mar 9, 2012: God, give me eyes to see.

Many of you have heard rumors of hungry children in the greater Winston-Salem area. You may have seen the same article in the Journal that I read on Aug 16. It said that this city, that is the WS Metro area, is the worst area in the entire USA for number of hungry children. Who can believe that? It doesn’t make sense that our neighborhood has the most hungry children than anyone else in the whole country. I would more easily believe maybe #27 or so. I tried to rationalize that story away too, just as you are doing now. But as I talked with people who work with kids in schools and at food ministries in the area, it became more and more real. This statistic and the faces of hungry people in my community got my attention. God pulled at my heart and opened my eyes to a blind spot. Frankly I prefer being blind. It’s a lot easier, but once I realized that God was in this story, I was compelled to ask, “What am I supposed to do? “

There are several things that Susan and I are doing personally. We have stepped up our donations to the local Food Bank and to the Yadkin Christian Ministries. I’m planning on attending some community sustainability seminars in the near future. But I want to talk with you about our church’s response to this critical need. Yes, I know we are behind on our budget, and we are looking at possible cuts to budget programs. However Ardmore cannot ignore this local crisis. The staff and Missions Council have approved a new ministry and initiative. We will be partnering with Ashley Elementary School to sponsor and carry out a Backpack program for the year 2012. Ashley is a school in dire need with over 95% of the children on a free or reduced lunch program. Even though the statistics may be somewhat faulty, this school needs a sponsor. Read about the national Backpack program. http://hungernwnc.org/how-we-work/food-to-kids.html Ardmore is coordinating with 2nd Harvest Food Bank and Ashley School to begin delivering 50 backpacks of food per week for the rest of the school year beginning in January and in the fall. These backpacks will be given to 50 kids each Friday as selected by the teachers there. I believe this will grow into a much larger need. There are many factors that go into this process, which I cannot explain in this letter. We plan to make this personal. Right now we are just starting to learn the ropes. I know we will need teams of volunteers to pack these backpacks on Wednesday night at our church, teams of 2 volunteers each Friday to deliver these to the school and someone to pick the empty packs up on Monday. This ministry is not labor intensive, but it is extremely cost effective and impactful. We will not need to pay for this ministry until January 2013. We are seeking to partner with other area churches to help with the cost. Feeding 50+ hungry kids at Ashley is worthy and obedient to God’s call. But make no mistake, this ministry is about connecting with the Ashley staff, families and neighborhood as well as coordinating with sister churches to join hands and form life-changing relationships. This ministry is about our congregation doing a new thing, about God working among us to change our hearts, to open our eyes and hearts. We have responded in a big way. God is lighting a fire to respond to the needs of this community. We have joined Ashley in becoming mentors for the students. We are joining in their gardening project. We are planning weekly story-telling and reading groups this summer during the summer feeding program at Ashley. Ardmore is becoming an exciting place to be. Come see what the excitement is all about. Chester David